This is not another one of those.
'lyk omg i luv him n he brke mi <3' poems.
that's fake and this is real.
and he didn't break my heart.
I broke his.
You don't have to say anything.
Just listen.
Please.
I'm sorry.
and I can't say it enough.
you will never understand.
how much or how tough.
this is for me to say.
It was my fault.
so stop taking all the blame.
please leave some for me.
maybe I will get lucky and the shame.
will drown me.
I love you.
and you are right.
to tune me out.
I just had to tell you and write.
just so you will know.
I wish.
I could take it all back.
but it's just too late.
I can only hope I will be smothered by the black.
and suffocate .
I will never.
forgive myself for this.
it will always haunt me.
and I admit I will miss.
the taste of your lips.
I am breaking.
because it kills me more than you know.
I don't want to tell you and.
I am too much of a coward to let it show.
on the outside.
I didn't mean.
for it to end like this or.
end at all.
I know you don't believe me and your.
crying just like me.
I will stop.
wasting your time with my words and.
just shut up for once.
I just wanted you to know I understand.
why you won't even look at me.
So now it's your turn.
here is the key.
to my heart to do with what you want.
I promise not to plea.
but I cannot promise not to secretly hope that you will take me back.
Thanks for listening if you got this far.
If not.
I understand.
This is not another one of those.
'lyk omg i luv him n he brke mi <3' poems.
that's fake and this is real.
and he didn't break my heart.
I broke his- and.
I'm sorry.
Author notes
If this is for you.
You know.
But what you don't is.
I understand and.
I'm sorry.
A contest entry
- the war in my head by serenity silvermoon.
311 points, ended February 11, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breaking Promises by unchained fears.
450 points, ended February 20, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love is the slowest form of suicide... by Yours-To-Have.
500 points, ended March 22, 2007, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Dark, Pain, Hell, Sorow, Tears, Sad, Creepy, Scary, Vampires, And Bloodly Poetry by Xgeekdreamgonewrong.
300 points, ended March 4, 2007, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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this poem makes me wish for too many things for me..
thank you for sharing this.. very expressive and articulate.
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well I thought it was very different It had a good flow even though it did not hold a consistant rhythm I must say I liked it very much also It makes you very curious goerge to know what you did so hurtful!!great job
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Suicidal Love......
GOod, very good it deep! -
Watch your punctuation! It is all over the place to me. I think the punctuation messed with the flow a little, so work on it please. I like how it was someone else point of view: you broke his heart. Most of the people show me how they have had their hearts broken, so this is fresh air. No one seems to understand that the person who broke your heart could be in just the same pain you are. That is what I got our of it atleast. Thank you and good luck.
Lots of Love!
**Amanda** -
This is a fantastic poem. I really love the beginning. It was sort of a slap in the face, and too perfect! It was great. You have a great vocabulary and it really adds to the poem. I love this. It's wonderful. I hope you have more like it.
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omg!!! this poem is... is... WOW! It' amazing and vert, very pretty. I'm almost speechless, it's a very beautiful poem. Good job! and good luck in the contest... i mean contestS.
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Very pretty, I really like the word choice and how during the really descriptive part of this piece you used so many unique words! Fantastic piece!
Keep up the good work,This one flows like a stream of light across the human heart, very colorful. Each line must be paused and carefully examined so as not to overlook the visualization that you are painting. The whole piece drips with emotion, warmth, and light. A canvas brilliantly painted. Excellent rhythm and flow and the emotion is real and tangible. Vivid, abstract and yet everything comes together. I truly feel the depth from this. So much truth. I loved every line of this piece as its' very touching and just full of positive
thoughts and energy. -
Really really amazing... All I'd comment on is the punctuation...
But I guess that's just your style.
Particularly liked these lines,
"I am breaking.
because it kills me more than you know.
I don't want to tell you and.
I am too much of a coward to let it show.
on the outside.
I didn't mean.
for it to end like this or.
end at all.
I know you don't believe me and your.
crying just like me."
-
Oh wow!
This is a kick butt poem! I love how you just let it all out; no holds barred emotion just flowing freely upon your page! Wow! If this apology wasn't accepted, it's just beyond me
Very well done! Thank you for sharing a part of your heart and soul! -
yea, i think just about anyone can relate with your thoughts on this one. Loved this overall and very enjoyable to have read such a very well thought out piece of poetry
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I don't know what it was... I was reading this and it felt real, like someone was telling me this... I had a break up once, and i was in the other person's shoes (the person the poem is meant for), and I never got closure from it... If he is anything like me, while it may hurt to say this, it would mean the world to him.
A thought provoking and emotional read. -
I am breaking.
because it kills me more than you know.
I don't want to tell you and.
I am too much of a coward to let it show.
on the outside.
I didn't mean.
for it to end like this or.
end at all.
so sincere and so much honesty in these lines here , forgive yourself love , we all make mistakes -
I think you pretty much let this
person know you were sorry. Good
luck in the contest
Lane
-
A beautiful piece. There are so many emotions in this piece. So much hurt and beauty in every line. A truly brilliant poem! I loved the way you started this piece, and ended with the same words, only with "and.
I'm sorry." added. It is beautifully written! Keep writing, and best of luck in the contests!
Love
Poetess99
-
wonderful
this is so beautiful! its eveything i long to say but i cant -
hi... beautiful poetry... straight from the heart... best of luck with the contest...
Hitesh Singhal
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interesing way to open and close your poem. it sort of takes away from it i think...in a way. but overall, good job with writing this. sad but good. good luck in the contest.
blu -
Always is interesting to see the other point of view. Very nice write you have here.
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I liked it, good luck in the contest, and keep up the good writing!!!
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and he didn't break my heart.
I broke his- and.
I'm sorry.
Soi this is life and this is truth of heart...Indeed a vey touchy write is here with full of tears and pain here...yes this is a heart stating its story through so poetic expressions where one can't help but just state the facts of sentiments which are always touching and thoroughly very senstitive as well...The depth of the curves of the sentiments here bringing a kind of natural scenario of the fates of the lovers...Indeed a very heartfelt write is here...
-
Snap
This poem has balls and it has heart. It doesn't dwell on or even mention the past, just an understanding of a seemingly shared emotion. I would love to see this poem from the other side.
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