If you were here, if you were near,
Your breath to be the only sound I hear...
If you were here-how would it be!
But you were not, and you won't be.
If you were here, right here with me,
And when I'm trapped, to set me free...
If you were here-how would it be!
But you were not, and you won't be.
If you were here, so I could cry,
And cry again, so you'd ask why...
If you were here-how would it be!
But you were not, and you won't be.
If you were here, I'd shyly tell,
The way I feel and always felt...
If you were here-how would it be!
But you were not, and you won't be.
You never were- you'll never be-
And I won't cry-you're not with me-.
If you were here-how would it be!
But you are not, and you won't be.
Author notes
For the 2nd 20 minutes contest-I'm on a writing spree!
A contest entry
- 20 minutes - 2 Amaze Me by Cupcrazy.
300 points, ended February 5, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Heart Belongs To You by tawk.
425 points, ended February 23, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wanting Something You Cannot Have (or Never Had) by Chelsea Void.
600 points, ended September 2, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Teenage Love Poems (May Be Prewrites) by ChrissyJean.
330 points, ended October 8, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 8 Sad/Nostalgia by cricketjeff.
1500 points, ended January 24, 2008, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PW Party by Blooming Poet.
425 points, ended July 23, 2008, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Saddest Feeling by emo001.
385 points, ended June 12, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know what you think about "If you were here"
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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cool
this is a very good write, good luck in the contest.
This reminds me of a lost love as well, but when it's not in the stars, something better comes allong.
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Thanks a lot - I am glad it brought out some feelings! And yep, I truly hope for something better ^_^
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This is good. You seem in parts to be repeating the end line rhyme word to much. It seems be is a little overused.
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Very simple, very enticing, this was never going to do much more than an HM in this company but for a poem this simple to get an HM out of almost 100 poems shows you got something very very right!
Thank-you very much for taking part in the series. When we started running these it was hard to find rhymers on AP who would admit their guilty secrets, now many of the best "Free-Versers" are entering!
On a more personal level I know that this series has improved my own poetry enormously and that Sue feels the same. We have also met a great many poets we did not know existed several of whom I now class as friends. Thank-you very much for this entry.
Jeff and Sue
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i like the repeating lines
very simple, but gets the message across -
This made me think of a special guy that's been coming and going out of my life for so many years. I wish he would stay but I don't think he ever will. Thanks for writing this.
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So full of love and emotion. Good luck in my contest
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Lovely piece filled with emotion. Thanks for your great entry. Bunny
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Good write! I can TOTALLY relate!
AWWWWWWWW! That's so cute and increbily sweet! Love can hurt sometimes, especially when you love someone(or rather yoou think you do. Hence the terms, "puppy love", "infatuation", and "a crush")and that "love" is not returned. Your heart is crushed and you mope around the house feeling sorry for yourself, mad at yourself and the other person, and yet... you wonder why you can't stop thinking about them. We've all been there man, just hang in there, it'll get better. I promise.
This is a great write. Keep penning your thoughts. God bless you now and forevermore!
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