Flax meadows squeak, still reeds
Languishing willows creek
All around me the light’s playing
In a summers' way, a wilting way
Dried up warming rays linger
As the moribund sunrise speaks
Forwarding an empty place
Up out of its shimmering gleam
Into my unchanged eyes
The day is fleeing, away
Watching buttercups, cup the light
Of lingering afternoon beams
That straggle the bridge by the water
Lazing, in the wet beady dew
Smiling, on the idle leaves
Sparkling, over fresh cut grass
Pouring, over distant hills
Racing after shadows that creep
In the cracks of stone hedgerows
So the sun sparkles on, the world wakes
Dream and see it if you wish
Join me here if you can.
Author notes
The sun sparkled on
as the world started to wake
and prepare for the day"
A contest entry
- Maybe the words will inspire you by little-hug.
550 points, ended March 14, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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The imagery is so beautiful. It paints a picture in my head of a place which I don't want to forget... The language is stunning too. It is gentle but sooo effective
I just want to say I am sorry that it has taken me so long to comment on your poem and judge this contest but I really appreciate you taking the time to enter
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this is really beautiful, i love the play on words in the first few lines, pure magic. a wonderful write, i wis you best of luck in the contest
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poetreeluvr
I like where this poem takes me. It reminds me when growing up on the river, and the time that I spent there. Very beautiful thoughts, very descriptive. Lots of Luck in the contest!
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i loved it
This makes me sad, it reminds me of all the dreams that seem so real you can reach out and touch them. All the dreams that leave you crushed when you wake up.
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This is amazing!
I love this one! Watching buttercups, cup the light haha lol Flaming. Great one! -
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laying on an eiderdown, yippie! thanks for taking a peek.
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Eerily Alive
I read this poem before and liked it, but decided to comment on one of your works that hadn't been commented on as much as this one. But since you have promoted, I'll comment.
I like all the imagery and action that you have presented in this piece. The verbs make the poem seem alive, almost as if it would walk off my computer screen and explode, and there would be a summer's field and stream in my apartment. The last two lines make me think you want it that way.
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very good i saw aloot of metaphors and detaile
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thank you for reading it.
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A summer day. What more could any one want? It would be lovely to cast off these cold winter days and join you there I can visualise the "Of lingering afternoon beams
That straggle the bridge by the water
Lazing, in the wet beady dew
A beautiful picture to laze in
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It's so fun to daydream, thanks for the comment.
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usually i have no taste for free verse, i can not even bear to read them because of how simple it is i think to string lines together and sound intelligent, somewhat like a college student using a thesaurus to sound smart. However you have captured the morning and the sunlight in such beautiful words, it made me wish to read more, congradulations on a perfectly excellent write.
Arrianna
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Thank-you, I do like to use rhyming words, but i usually tend to use them internally in poems rather than at the ends of sentences. I'm glad you liked this one though.
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Fleeting a moment in time of a day whether one deciedes to awake is their choice. Vivid is the caprured imagery in this poem. Dream if you wish, join me here if you can. I fI choose not to awake then how can one join you there! Awesome, speechless cannot say more than that. Amara
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join me in your dreams of course..hehe..thanks for the comment
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*delighted giggle* wow, i can see this place in my minds eye and i'd really like to be there. this is a magical piece, not quite like anything else i've ever red. I especially love how you make it seem that time is meaningless because the day is fleeing, yet "the sun sparkles on, the world wakes"
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Thank-you. Who ever thinks of time on a lazy summer day...hehe
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A True master piece
I felt enchanted with your magical words. The more I read the more I wanted to read. I even read it twice. I see you dont have any trophies and I ask why? Your writes are master piece that really need rewarding. Thank you much for sharing your talent (Lisa)
"Up out of its shimmering gleam
Into my unchanged eyes
The day is fleeing, away
Watching buttercups, cup the light
Of lingering afternoon beams"
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I'm very humbled by your kindness, thank you and i'm glad you enjoyed it.
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This poem was just pure magic. Every line swept me away to a far-away land.
I liked this line especially:
Watching buttercups, cup the light
Of lingering afternoon beams -
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Thank you, I wrote this while looking out the window at fields of snow, the frozen river, longing for the warm summer's sun to return.
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