Wanting to hold him

Its like, you could be there in their arms, and it could be perfect but something is still missing
you can't figure out what it is though
there's so much to say and you can't find the words to say it
you wanna look into his eyes and just tell him you love him but you think he'll back away and so you don't
you let the moment pass you by
i mean you have every chance in the world, and you just can't
not because you don't really feel that way
but you don't want to push him away
if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just... passes you by
and then you spend your sunday afternoon thinking that you might lose him
and it doesn't turn out right
you fumble through old songs, and pictures, while music plays in the background, and you look out the window waiting for him to walk by
and you finally realize that he isn't going too, and you just lay on your pillow
no tears come, just breathing
you look out the window just one more time
hoping he'll come
like in a fairy tale
he'd be your prince
he'd come rescue you on a big white horse (camero) and climb up your wall and take you away
and he doesn't come, you look up at your ceiling and hug the bear he gave you pretending its him, and trying to remember all those times that he held you
a tear rolls down your cheek, and you sit up and go to your mirror
and wonder what he doesn't see in you
you stand there waiting for the answer to come to you in the mirror
you go back and you lay on your bed, and stare out the window
and fall asleep
the next morning you try and look your best
to show that nothings wrong
you see him and you get this heavy feeling in your stomach
like all the breathe got knocked out of you
you sit in your first hour class, and you stare out the window into the snow fall
there's noise all around you, but you can't hear them
all you can hear is the sound of your heart beating
a tear rolls down your cheek
someone asks you what's wrong
and you just say nothing
you don't want anyone to know
you walk to your 3rd block class and you see him
he smiles at you like nothing happened:
and you have to look away
because just seeing that smiling face is enough to make you cry
you try and eat during lunch and you keep looking over to your left to see you if you can see him
you don't
you just sit there
you can't eat
it hurts too much
you breathe a little bit before you leave the table
you feel so distant from your friends
even though they are right there
in 4th block you sit and write
ignoring everything completely
you just wanna lay down and cry
you just lose everything and you don't even realize it
or at least you feel that way
like everything is going in slow motion
you wait around for his call
you run different scenerios through your head
oh maybe he'll call me in 5 6 7 minutes
you just wait
you go to the store with your mom and you just don't wanna go out
you stare at the bottles of shampoo
and you wanna break them all
you walk around shoulders hunched
just not caring anymore
then the next time you see him
he doesn't even reconize you
all of sudden you're back in the room with him where this all started
you look at him
you say his name
"i love you" and you hug and kiss him
not wanting to let him go