Last Night I cried
I cried because
you were holding her
when I was freezing inside
Last Night I cried
I cried for all the things
I should have told you
but I never even tried
Last Night I cried
I cried to make you see
the internal view of my heart
but when asked to speak... i lied
Last Night I cried
I cried so I could remember a silver blade
how badly I wanted to see
the crimson river grow wide
Last Night I cried
I cried as the painkillers pile up
Swallow One... Two... Ten...
I wish I could've died
Last Night... I cried
I cried because it hurts
too much to even say...
so I just stand to the side...
Last Night I cried
I cried because
you were holding her
when I was freezing inside
A contest entry
- my blood my tears spell these words on my heart & on my wrist by melodramatic emo.
650 points, ended February 14, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I really like this. I think it's because I can connect with it...as I'm sure lots of people can. I like how you started each line with the same line and then ended the poem like it started. It reinforces the emotions that are portrayed throughout the poem
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So sorry
When we are young and give our hearts away, then find that the person you gave it to did not have the same value for it. Life seems unfair.Yet if you did not give it away, you would not have known the love you felt. As bad as it is cherish every chance to love and be loved. For even if for a short time, the love felt is wonderful! The Shaker
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hey i loved this alot. i and my boyfriend broke up about 3 months ago and i feel totally everything in this poem. alot of mine are similar to this. great job keep it up.
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Very saddening write. It has a lyrical flow and your thoughts are translated well. Thanks for your entry!
~Lori -
Sad to say the least...
Nothing is as painful as unrequited love. It hurts. The line "i could remember a silver blade how badly I wanted to see a crisom river grow wide", is very chilling. Also, your line about painkillers horrified me. No boy is worth thinking of suicide. You are young and in pain. You will love and find love, trust me. You are beautiful and a worthy soul will come and see that. Stay being creative, but don't sacrifice for something empty.
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This was just too sad...Damn, love hurts..Those times when we think we should speak and we dont, we sometimes regret and then sometimes its the other way around. You just have to feel if its right or not.
Hope you are doing well.
Soulful Woman -
sad but very well writtten keep up the good work
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Oh ow...this poem hurt even me. I've had similar experiences, and so this poem struck a heart string with me. Such words of sorrow, so sad. The flow was very good though, and the repitiion kept me reading. Good job keeping up the theme and the thoughts. Great Job!
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good contest write
some skill has been shown in this contest write this would stand up a a well written piece on its own
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Very good
I liked your rhyming! Much talent there! A lot!!! This flowed beautifully and I can see why you are number one on the preliminary finalists! Good job!!! And good luck still!!!
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A poignant piece of poetry and poetically therapeutic indeed,sorry canot risk longeer comment,I keep typing and submitting but get error rails,tried to leave a comment on Zayra's poem three times and system gremlins ate it!
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Oh wow this was intense I totally loved this it goes so well with my contests title this was very deep it was full of emotion and was a brilliant write I absolutely loved this part of the poem
Last Night I cried
I cried because
you were holding her
when I was freezing inside
such a beautiful stanza so deep and powerful it cuts right through to the heart great job thanks for entering best of luck to ya
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