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Self Induced Utopia (Free Verse)

I saw it sitting there in a self induced utopia

Dreaming that it's thoughts were clear as glass

Blissfully incognizant

Happily incoherent

Never letting itself realize that it was a human being

Forgetting Christ was not inhuman

And Buddha had a soul

And there is more to life than breathing

And giving hugs and saying prayers

In a list

Please tell me what you think.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Madcap
    February 6, 2007
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    I've been the fool on that hill before, oh wait, I still am? fancy that,. This is a thoughtful piece, i must say...but isn't it good to be lost in the woods? to find some quiet there. Nice write.

    Congrats. and good luck in your contest.


    • Ontarah
      February 6, 2007
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      It's all well and good until someone tries to start a meaningful relationship with you. If all a person in this 'self induced utopia' can offer you is a vague smile, hand shakes, and canned answers, it's probably not going anywhere.

  • torn-apart-angel
    February 6, 2007
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    beautiful. this is a very good poem and it is well organized. great poem.


  • dustookie2
    February 6, 2007

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    I like the sound of the title think i could move into that space...hut the world out for a time...you words fueled by imagery presents visions in my mind smooth flowing to the end. You provoke many layers of thinking and portray a world that could be depending on how the reader is feeling as we only take what we want from any read and you have given plenty to ponder on long after the last words has been read. thank you for the pleasure and the challenges in the thoughts i am thinking.hope you do well in the contest.

  • Trew
    February 5, 2007

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    Holy crap this is good. Once upon a time I was a religious fanactic and I don't know if it was your vision but it reminds me of preachers and their members


  • Welcome-To-Hell
    February 5, 2007

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    This is a very interesting write honestly to me it felt like it was missing something but that could be just me best of luck in the contest

    • Ontarah
      February 5, 2007
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      Yea, I normally have a tendency to write ridiculously long poems but I normally get accused of overwriting so I thought I'd make this one as short and simple as possible. It does perhaps assume some foreknowledge of the situation, but let's just say the person this poem is about might get a bit irate if they read about themselves in the author's note. Ambiguity in this situation is probably for the best.


  • light insight silver member
    February 5, 2007

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    interesting

    Very nicely penned and requires some to totally get. I really like the way you are always , Great flow and great message

1 - 8 of 8