Entangled in the boggy land of doubt,
and entrapped in the choices' web,
my will is melting…
to stand on the peak of selfhood,
look down on all that is beneath,
and cherish the cherry-tasting nectar of being alone,
or let my existence evaporate
in the galaxy of those black eyes,
wear the silken blindfold of love,
let the crystal fingers of Venus
touch the velvet strings of my soul
to let the feathery divine melody
enchant the drowsy ears…
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is brilliant, deep, intense and on top of that, wonderfully executed!! The title is eye-catching and suits the subject quite well. This poetic piece is a sheer delight to read! Keep rocking with your pen.....Way to go:-)
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Well, to tell you the truth, I’m out of words. That is strange because I rarely get like that
I’m just enjoying your beautiful writes and adore them since they are really adorable!
Good luck in perfuming words
~Vernal Bloom~
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I must agree with Grannyeri here, sound like you are in love. but not love like married couples (like me) share, the type of love that is new and fresh, just beautiful imagery and flow to this piece, well done
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Sounds like you are smitten - very descriptive word combinations you have used in these lines. Leaves one with vivid images of beauty and love. There are lots of ands in this poem, and many of them really are not necessary. Read the poem out loud and see where some could be left out. Enjoyed reading this - neat title too.
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A visual delight!
What beaaaaaaautiful images. I saw from the height of your vision to what is below you. I love the title especially.
My ONly critique would be to subdue this a bit
with fewer capitals at the beginning of each line...it will allow the poem to gently f l o a t so that the eye can grasp all the descriptives.
Goodness.........so rommmmmmmmantic layered with a 'longing' that the reader can understand.
Thank you!
My favorite line:
Curiously hyperbolic.
"And cherish the cherry-tasting nectar of being alone"
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