I have hidden it in a place never to be found
Hidden in the darkest depths, hidden underground
Never will it fly again, never to be seen
Never will it see the glowing moon
Never will it smell the sweet flowers
Never will it hear the toll of the bell
Never will it feel the soft touch of showers
Never will it come out.
Never Again
It wants to be where it is and stay there for all eternity
It has been hurt for far too long and now it will not hurt me
Never will it want to fly
Never will it want to see
Never will it want to smell
Never will it want to hear
Never will it want to feel
Never will it heal
Never again to be amended
Never again to be befriended
A contest entry
- what's in your bag? by misselaineous.
525 points, ended February 6, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I keep it in my Handbag
Comments
-
you certainly captured all the senses here
personally i feel you overdid the nevers/wants and perhaps the poem would have been stronger if you used a different way of getting the transition down your list, punctuation mighht help
eg:-
Never will it want to see
Never will it want to smell
Never will it want to hear
Never will it want to feel
Never will it heal
becomes:
Never will it see, smell,
hear, feel or heal
sometimes less is more
thank you for entering
elaine
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