I can look at you, you can look at me.
Whats really inside, neither of us see.
You think you can tell, by "reading my eyes"
Maybe behind these glasses, my eyes tell lies.
But you will never know, cause you don't care.
Having a deep conversation fills you with fear.
You would have to open up, to let someone in.
They might see who you are, beneath your skin.
So, silently, we just pass eachother bye.
A slight nod of the head, as if to say "hi".
This lifes a fake, or can't you see.
It's all lies, when I look at you, and you look at me
Author notes
so this is kinda humdrum and probably overdone. but it was my first impression when I looked at the pic so i wrote this down
A contest entry
- What's in a picture? by Angierie.
300 points, ended February 11, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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interestingly put. got good flow and does make you think. I like this one. Keep up the good work.
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dramatic if not knowing what is turned to ?
Poet of telescoping...
"When I look at you and you look at me" has a wide-eyed scope of the title as it circles from from an intimate moment to wretchedness almost that it can't be reached to the innerness, necessarily if secretly :
"Maybe behind these glasses, my eyes tell lies"
as the spelling of the eyeballs' rolls doesn't always tell the underlying story.
Some of it was too punchy for me for it to be poetry that's to creating the scene to be announced, but there were reference that were viscerally visual even :
"Having a deep conversation fills you with fear."
as the dives can be into, past cliched pools of eyes only. Which requires not a scuba suit but a peeling of "skin" even so to speak, or appearance that isn't for the peering once in awhile.
It held the cocial cracking feel with like with a typo of greeting :
"So, silently, we just pass eachother bye.
A slight nod of the head, as if to say "hi""
however it was exaggeratively negative in conclusion unless you are there an emphasizer a "look" by itself shows "lies" which is understably cleared by layers. Yet there's the litheness that can be liked in it's slow bend if down needs to go up or vice-versa.
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This one is really good, very well written. Nice.
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Thanks so much for entering!
~A winner has not yet been chosen, but I will let you know when I decide!
Thanks for entering!
Angie <3
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