Sense and Shadow
Between sense and shadow
where only thought may dwell
is a world of my dear mysteries
And you are there as well
In the world of day
You belong to another
In the night of longing
Dreams thinly cover
My mystery of you
A Flame … to embers
A glow remains and true
It may be foretold in our stars
Written into our destiny
And like falling sands
and fingers of our hands
this vision may never be
more than a fallen tear
Between sense and shadow
Come last … may we be there
Peteskid
Author notes
with sorrow i edited this piece for lines and reading ease... I have returned to the original.
A contest entry
- If You Want Comments... by RT michaels.
335 points, ended February 13, 2007, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EMOTIONS by live in love.
475 points, ended February 19, 2007, 25 entries
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450 points, ended March 7, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Echo of Rejection © by Poet-of-the-shadows.
375 points, ended March 16, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Secret Affairs...........At Least Check It Out! by Dorcha Runda.
410 points, ended April 4, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just Look by Maybe Anastasia.
300 points, ended March 23, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show, Don't Tell! by loveisthemoment.
330 points, ended April 11, 2007, 17 entries
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600 points, ended April 11, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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A couple stanzas were a bit awkward, but i like the poem as a whole, good luck in the contest.
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Really great. I love it. Good luck and thanks for entering!
Love always,
~musicangel -
So Moving
'In the world of day
You belong to another
In the night of longing
Dreams thinly cover
My mystery of you'
Sense & shadow...great titile for this poem. This stanza I like the best. You belong to another by day, but in dreams thinly cover my mystery of you. Awesome lines. Thank you for sharing this with me. ~Sie
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i like this. its very descriptive of an affair. very nice work. thanks for your entry and good luck.
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i certainly see why you say with regret you edited this. i like the second one but love the original. i wish you the best of luck in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
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A very breathtaking piece filled with a rare beauty that caresses the reader's heart...get their attention from the first word. Thanks for entering my contest. Good luck! Smiles, Terry
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how nice i really like this poem and it seems very truthfall and intemate i really really like it
thanks for entering
good luck
lil -
"My mystery of you" a very good line that shows how little we know about people and only in in our thinly laid out dreams can we even begin to contrive what other people are like. An excellent poem, thank you very much for the entry.
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Excellent poem, it flowed very well. It has a very nice topic and you displayed it well. I like the somewhat unstructured rhyme scheme and strong imagery. It was a nice touch by incorporating the repetition of the word "mystery". I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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thank you
for your kind remarks
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I like this, reminded me of a shared dream between friends/lovers. Smooth flow also. Good luck in the contest!
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thank you
for your kind remarks
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thank you
for your comments and for reading
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