HATE KILLS HOPE a/t SHIVER

anger boils inside me and reduces me to silence
emotions run through me, but mostly thoughts of violence
i don't think you realize the depth of the anger i feel
you've never understood me and you probably never will
but i never really showed you...me
because you never really deserved to see
but i guess the craving was too much
so when we "made love", it was always a hollow touch
i couldn't move on
but didn't want to hold on
but i was foolish and i was weak
because i would believe the words you would speak
as fabrications and lies would spill out
even though i was full of uncertainty and doubt
so i realize, i now really see
that my hurt didn't matter to you or me
so i feel an emotion that seems to eclipse my soul
and it's sucking away the light like a black hole
even though i know that it destroys all hope
it's all i have left to help me cope
for me, i know that it's already too late
so i use alcohol to wash away the taste of hate
but it never goes away, it just becomes diluted
as i think about the crystal clear waters i once was that are now polluted
and i feel dirty, dingy, filthy and unclean
my thoughts are all sick and twisted, perverted and obscene
so i feel plagued, diseased by hate and fear
i never listened to your voice, because your words i didn't want to hear
i feel my body shiver from the glacier that grows in my heart
as i try to pick up the pieces of my life that have been ripped apart
they're shredded and torn, lying all over the floor
like the bodies that are left strewn about after a war
because from my heart you stole the desire
so i hate love and i want to set the world on fire
my blood boils but that's my fate
because the easiest emotion for me to feel is hate
between you and me, peace was never my dream
so alcohol will never wash my soul clean
all i can see is an image of a monkey with a bullet to his brain
i keep pushing rewind, because all the songs i hear sound the same
but a promise is a promise, even if it's one you cannot keep
so i rip tears from my eyes, because i can no longer weep
a thousand lines i've lost in my head
i spent too much time thinking, when i should have been feeling instead
i cringe at the thought of your touch
HATE KILLS HOPE, but i've never hoped for much
this time i didn't think things would be the same
but here i am again getting the blame
i knew i was lost, but i thought i had found my way back home
but it's like an epiphany and now i know why i always went alone
so i try to find some one that money doesn't have under control
because everything that i have that's worth something has already been sold
i tried to make it happen, i tried to make it real
but you can't make some one believe how you feel
i know the sun rises, but the shadows also fall
but sometimes i can't help it when i feel nothing at all
so i look to the heavens, as i wait for them to call
but all i can see is monkey brains splattered all over the wall
i used to feel good thinking you would surround me
now i feel suffocated knowing you could drown me
it once felt like love, but now i recognize sin
so i cry in the dark as my life grows dim