I'll carry the ashes in a pretty brass urn
shaped like a locket
death took it's time in coming
so slow he was in the taking
but once the last beats were breathed
and the time of death fixed upon the certificate
the cremation was quick
and the memorial, a hollow pew
and only the chosen few
in attendance they mourned
I'll carry my heart's ashes in an urn
wondering if life will ever return,
waiting to see if there is still resurrection power
in the God of Love.
Author notes
Inspired by "Give me back the remains of my heart" written by AP poet, Deserter.
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
-
3 applauds...9pts
Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list
~Lilac
-
Hi, please accept my apologies, I'm finding this so hard to comment on, too near to my own feelings...
I think of you a lot and glad you are writing, I hope you are ok
~Lilac~
-
-
It's ok - I know why you avoid commenting sometimes. I don't expect you to do so. Some days are more difficult than others. But I'll be ok. Hope you are too. Take care and give those flowing doggies a hug for me. I don't know what I'd do without Joey.
peace.
-
-
GREAT
i like this its soo sad but hasa lot meaning
and i like the pictorial image it gives it shows ur hurting its great u can xpress urself
-
Oh dear...
this is very intense and very well done...in such a short write you have conveyed a true emotional wallop!
I am so very sorry for your loss and I do pray that peace has fallen upon your heart...
I understand about carrying those hearts ashes...sadly...sometimes...that is all we have left...
You have penned this journey with eloquence. I applaud you!
Blessings! Tammy
-
I already commented once but I read it again and it is wonderful. Such a sad and emotional piece of art.
-
Amazing piece! Sadness seems mixed with love. The loss is given a bold and determined feeling. Very interesting! One of your best that I've read!
~Lori
-
Such a sad piece so full of love and sadness. Excellent flow and content . Keep up the wonderful writing
-
-
tawk
Thanks for giving this a read. I should've written something else. Anyway...glad you enjoyed your hoodwinking.
-
-
great piece, very unique with nice flow and lovely imagry. Loved it. Bunny
-
-
bunny
unique is good. thanks.
-
-
A very original and crafty piece... A joy to read with good flow imagery and emotion.... Thanks for sharing and best wishes,
Frogz~ -
-
Frogz
Thangs for giving a read.
-
-
Taken from the inspiration very well (I just went and looked it up)
You've made it similar in that you know it was inspired from that but still very original and different
An interesting poem, that made me look deeper in every line
Well done
-
-
Ff
Thanks
-
-
I like how you say you carry the ashes in a brass urn close to your heart. Experiences of life make great subjects for poetry.
-
-
Lady A
Indeed life does make for experiential poetry.
Hope you are well.
-
-
Well, the formal ceremonies have all finished and that message comes through but so does the numbness, incredibly so for your feelings are still numbed by the tragedy and I think that reality is still catching up. The message you gave is that you are simply waiting, waiting to see what happens, waiting to see if things improve and how you will handle it. A factual list of events almost devoid of feeling. I hope that time heals faster than you expect and that the numbness eases and allows you to breathe freely again.Warmest regards,
Barry
-
-
Barry
Your repsonse was right on.
Strange isn't it how some say this one is full of emotion?
I mean, it's there underneath but right, numbness is wearing off.
and now, it's just me. Picking up what's left of my life.
Started painting again. That's helped.
Thanks for giving this a read.
-
-
Inspiration comes from many things, even from other's poetry. Such a tragic situation, yet a hopeful one, in that the living one knows there is life after death and that they will meet again one day. Easy to read and understand the sentiments you express in these lines.
-
-
grannyeri
Knowing that there is life after death is a help.
People who are close do not and I think it's much more difficult for them.
Take care.
-
-
im glad my poem inspired you its a really good write too
-
-
Deserter
Thank you for the inspiration.
-
-
really great write. i loved the metaphorical veiw on heartbreak. thats cool that you gave "deserter" credit for the inspiration. great write again...keep it up!
-
-
TZ
metaphorical.......?
literal.....?
Hmm....thanks for giving this a read and responding.
-
-
Good!
I love spiritual poetry and this poem is very positive In John 5:28 guarantees that whoever is "sleeping" in the grave will be resurrected like Jesus did endorse the testimony of our resurrection to be. John 11:25 says also to have proof of faith and assurance that the loved ones would be resurrected.. "I am the resurrection and the life whoever believes in me even if he dies will live and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Blessings xx
-
-
gaerielle
blessed assurance, this I know. Thanks for the reminder.
-
-
Wow, this was really powerful. I like that it's short, and so very honest within those lines. You've conveyed the emotions of loss and heartache and mourning very well.
-
-
Amethyst
Thanks for stopping bye - honesty is a quality I try to convey - glad it came through.
-
-
A heartfelt write. Very good free verse. Good imagery, flow and tone. Deep expression of emotion. There is sadness in this piece, but there is also hope in life given us by God. Very good word choice. Vivid descriptives. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read.
-
-
Shelley A
Thanks for stopping in.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 32 of 32
