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Like a fork and knife...

I see you in my black-and-white dreams,
When I close my eyes your face dances in the darkness of my soul,
I dream of you alone,
But more do I dream of us together,
We match like a fork and knife,
We're so different,
But used for the same thing,
Love...
I love you in my head,
And outside I love you quietly,
In every cloud I see your face,
I hear our song constantly playing on the radio,

And if not in my mind,

I search for you,

But I only find you inside my head,
I wait for you patiently,
And if it takes you too long?
Well, then I just close my eyes,
And you're here...

Author notes

I took option 2, about the unseen love. I feel this way sometimes. I think everyone is always waiting and dreaming of someone perfect... I'm sorry if there are some gramatical mistakes, but I'm from Holland so my English may not by too good at all times, but I'm still learning, and I'm happy to be corrected... I hope you liked it...
Love Lily

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    February 10, 2007

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    Welcome to AP!

    This is a very lovely poem Our heart knows what it wants and when it wants it I personally enjoyed this one very much! All the best to you in the contest


  • Touchof1der silver member
    February 7, 2007

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    Welcome to Allpoetry!

    Although you have a lovely poem here, if you will look back over the contest rules and criteria once again, you will note... "Prewritten poems are not allowed"... a prewritten poem is one that has been entered into another contest, which means your entry does not meet the criteria. If you wish to have an entry considered for a trophy, you must follows the rules of the contest. I trust you are enjoying the site as well as the many benefits that we have to offer here. Should you need help with anything, please don’t hesitate to contact any one of the greeters here at Allpoetry. They will be more than willing to assist you or at least point you in the direction where you might find the help you seek. Good luck and thank you for entering the contest!
    ♥ Touchof1der


  • raspberry Greeters member
    February 6, 2007
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    Welcome to Allpoetry

    This is a very well written poem. One point, I couldn't understand is, its unseen but still, you see his face ????? Well, amazingly poetic and I liked this a lot. Very well done. Good luck in the contest and thanks for the entry.


  • Despairkitty
    February 5, 2007
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    You must have corrected everything because I couldnt find anything. I do agree that I would take out all the commas as I feel that it keeps the poetry from flowing as well as it could. Thanks so much for entering the contest and I wish you luck.
    Despair


  • tawk gold member
    February 5, 2007

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    Waiting for that special person to come into your life. It will happen when the time is right. I loved your poem so full of love and emotions.


  • Angel-Amethyst
    February 5, 2007
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    Very nice. Thanks for entering. Good luck in the contest.


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    February 4, 2007

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    wonderful contender....

    Hi there. Glad to see you've entered a richly
    detailed piece that is a good contest contender.
    With language differences, please feel free
    to ask one of us.

    *Suggestions*
    Were this mine, I'd comb this piece for
    any 'extras' of 'repetitive' adjectives, such as
    'my'. And the overuse of the pronoun 'I'. Try leaving
    it out throughout unless completely necessary.

    ~ Puntuation should be at a minimum. Poetry doesn't need what prose does. Let it ~ ` ~ f l y ~ ~.*bird*.

    Otherwise, this is a very good poem. Really. thank you...and I wish you the best.


  • emeraldsoldier
    February 4, 2007

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    nice poem, somthing you could correct is "i hear our song onstantly" it should be "I hear our song constantly", but i wouldnt worry about it lilly, i have lived in australia all my life and i still mess up my english so don't beat your self up about it. all that aside a well writting poem
    keep on writting
    emeraldsoldier

1 - 8 of 8