Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Hufschmied

Missing image

Hufschmied


The winter blanket cracked beneath my shoe
Cold is the breath of wind nipping my nose
A blue grey sky to inspire a writer’s prose
The Farrier I am for that’s what I do
Pressing on home my work day is through
Trudging my way and clenching her rose
Soon I will see her I love her she knows
Home to my wife my supper there too

When I walk in she’ll be sure that I’m fed
A passionate glow she’s the love of my life
I’ll kiss her and love her and take her to bed
A gift from my God, my wonderful wife
For a Farrier’s life there’s much to be said
Working and loving, a life without strife

 

Author notes

An Italian sonnet is composed of an octave, rhyming abbaabba, and a sestet, rhyming
cdecde or cdcdcd, or in some variant pattern, but with no closing couplet.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Hetha gold member
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked your rhyme pattern here. Mono rhyme, followed by alternating lines..it doesn't seem so bound by the usual rules. Your subject is nice and simple, but works great for the contest you entered. Overall, I found it positive sweet, and thankful for what the narrator already has in life. Nicely done!


  • Swan song gold member
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Again your genus in rhyme shines through and once more the poem is very smooth Do you workl hard to find smooth words or do they just come to you?


  • th3sl4y3r
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I realy like this poem, it tells a great story of a man returning home after a hard working day, to the woman he loves, awwwe....
    Great imagery in this poem.. I am not that familiar with an Italian sonnett so I am a bit lost with the syllables... I love the rhyming scheme in this write, it is very well done, and doesn't seem forced at all...
    thank you for entering my contest and good luck..
    peace and light always.


  • cafegroundzero gold member
    April 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I nod, yes, I like it! Lovely

    I am impressed by the natural rhythm even with rhyme that comes out. Nothing here seems forced; au contraire, the language comes out sounding just a little bit old-fashioned without sounding artificial.

    Before I thought to look below, I did a quick search, and found the meaning of the German word. I don't know if any of you have read this article on the farriers of Germany. You can easily click above to translate to English:

    http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hufschmied

    Are you familiar with the poem about the death of the farrier, Felix Randall, by Gerald Manley Hopkins?

    Felix Randall the farrier, O he is dead then? my duty all ended,
    Who have watched his mould of man, big-boned and hardy-handsome
    Pining, pining, till time when reason rambled in it and some
    Fatal four disorders, fleshed there, all contended?

    (From Norton's Anthology of MOdern Poetry, 2nd Ed. by Richard Ellman and Robert O'Claire)


    • Amera gold member
      April 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Wow! That's quite a comment. Thank you.


  • Never Fall in Love
    February 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    whats hufshimenied?
    *checks*
    Hufschmied
    whatever that was
    and however you pronounce it
    i think
    You did a
    WONDERFUL job here
    its really
    Good
    no ..
    Great
    no ..
    Amazing
    no ..
    EXCELLENT

    • Amera gold member
      February 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      hufshimenied, farrier, blacksmith all the same thing.


  • Tirrell
    February 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am currious about the title, and the word farrier,
    for I have not come across them. but that aside I love the poem. It has a great feel to it. Well done!


    • Amera gold member
      February 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Sure, a farrier is an 18th century word for blacksmith the title is the same in German. Thank you for the applause.


  • PerVirtuous
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice and such a sweet picture of domestic life. You have captured the simplicity of life and magnified it here into something remarkable. Thanks for sharing. I give three conigli.


  • Sacrificial Love
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing...

    You can write about ANYTHING can't you? I bet if someone sat a crunched Pepsi can in front of you and said .... write about it... you would put out a masterpiece from that can.

    I am so impressed by you...sincerely

    Sahabah


  • February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thoreau would be proud!

    The (Hoofsmith) Farrier's tale is so serene... Like a dream. Hard work and coming home to his lady love! Such a powerful feeling!

    I love!

    A passionate glow she’s the love of my life
    I’ll kiss her and love her and take her to bed
    A gift from my God, my wonderful wife

    Awwww....

    So sweet!

    BRAVO!

1 - 12 of 12