I am; a bird who has forgotten how to fly
A wilted flower who forgot how to die;
A nightingale who no longer sings;
A church bell that no longer rings;
A cloud that has lost its silver lining;
A star that lost the meaning of "shining";
An angel with both wings torn;
A devil without both feverish red horn;
A child that knows not the meaning of love;
A child forsaken from almighty above.
Author notes
option 1
A contest entry
- Show me pure loneliness and pain by ThunderCatWonder08.
390 points, ended March 13, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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nice very good i like the description how you show how u feel great job xxlorren
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wow!!nice!!great rhyming
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all of these descriptions are good. Each one could support a poem by itself, i think. However, you haven't told the reader why. Granted, you could read the contest and figure it out but if this were to stand alone, wouldn't people want to know why or have some illusion as to why?
Just a thought. Best of luck in the contest.
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Your thought is well counted for, but sometimes things should be left vague, especially when it is a general emotion, and a general feeling of being lonely. and since poetry is a form of art, sometimes it is good to leave the reader to interpret; just for fun. Thanks for your thought, but I have done so many poems of that sort, and got bored, decided to do one not so deep in the matter.
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WOw so much pain and I felt yo pain in this poem
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Great poem. It was so very sad. I can relate to it quite well. Great Job. Keep up the good work. I especially liked the line "I am a bird which has forgotten how to fly.
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