Dance like no one’s watching
Smile with your eyes
It’s not like you tell a story
It’s not like you to compromise
I’m not burning bridges
I made a promise too
Still feel like I did something wrong
I’m crying over you
When you see me searching
Painted with my pain
Crying in the corner
Shot with Novocain
Give me one more secret
Never tell a lie
I’ve waited for you all this time
Guess I’ve been wastin all my time
Waiting on a moment
Waiting for the subway
Never gonna stop here
Gotta find the back way
Listen to me baby
When you see me Tuesday
Anything you needed
Gonna be in back pay
Yeah
Can you hear me crying
Have you ever cried
I know what you came from
I know when you lied
Baby don’t forget me
Snow is finally falling
Won’t forget to find you
When I hear you calling
Smile for the cameras
You know it’s not too late
There’s too fine a line dividing
Love and lust and hate
Never thought I’d love you
Yeah your story’s true
You know you’re not alone now
I’m crying over you
Waiting on a moment
Waiting for the subway
Never gonna stop here
Gotta find the back way
Listen to me baby
When you see me Tuesday
Anything you needed
Gonna be in back pay
Yeah
Budget cuts are hurting
Walking in the snow
Anytime you need me
You just let me know
Gonna sing the same song
Waste the afternoon
Getting over last week
Getting over you
Waiting on a moment
Waiting for the subway
This abandoned station
Never see another train
Listen to me baby
You’ll see me in the morning
I will always love you
Don’t say I didn’t warn you
Waiting at the station
Waiting on a moment
This is how you say it
This is how you show it
Listen to me baby
Don’t be easygoing
Tell me you don’t love me
I already know it
Waiting on a moment
Yeah
Author notes
I have entered Mrs Mulholland's contest and I accept the fact that the contest holder may well judge my entry very harshly indeed if she feels it deserves it. I will accept her judgement without rancour or any wish to take revenge.
A contest entry
- Lingering Heartbreaks... by Kevan.
395 points, ended March 25, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mrs Mulholland's Contest For Broken Hearted Lovers by Mrs Mulholland.
500 points, ended July 5, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - He Broke Her Punk Heart.So She Broke His Emo Face (Prewrites Allowed) by Lady Nightshade.
600 points, ended November 11, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Thanks for your brave entry to my lovely contest and here are your scores as noted in the contest rules:
Content:-
Sadness and tragedy: 5/10 points
Sentimentality and sloppiness: 6/10 points
Revenge exacted for infidelity etc.: 0/10 points
Humour and wit: 3/10 points
Erotic content: 0/10 points
Use of imagery, metaphors etc.: 5/10 points
Literary style and elegance: 0/10 points
Overall emotional impact on ME: 10/20 points
(but a special bonus as these could be the lyrics for a ghastly popsong!) +10 points!
Sub-total for content: 39 points.
Adjustments:-
Good spelling, grammar and punctuation: 11 errors (mainly horrid slang) plus not a single fullstop in sight, so MINUS 22 points.
New poem bonus: no.
Pre-write which has already won a cup: MINUS 10!
Pre-write in other contests: n/a.
Not putting disclaimer in author's notes as requested: no penalty; thanks!
Sub-total for adjustments: MINUS 32! (That's the record so far!)
So 39 minus 32 = 7 points in total. Unlikely to win, wouldn't you say?
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, Josephine
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this is an excellent write, I would love to hear it with the music... You have done an amazing job with this, something I can't seem to do is write lyrics..
I love the chorus, but I love these lines too...
"Can you hear me crying
Have you ever cried
I know what you came from
I know when you lied
Baby don’t forget me
Snow is finally falling
Won’t forget to find you
When I hear you calling"
excellent, well done!!!!
thank you for entering my contest and good luck..
peace and light always. -
this is really a great poem. i love the how everything just flows together but i'm sorry someone treated you like crap. you have alot of talent. im defiantly adding you as a fav.
**Bloved**
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thanks!! i'll check out some of your stuff too. i wrote this a while ago, but it's still one of my favorites.
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wow
this is awesome work
thia would have been perfect in a song
my god
good luck in the contest
NeveR ♥
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Excellent work! I loved this the whole way through... I actually think I'm going to read it again. Good luck!
Waiting at the station
Waiting on a moment
This is how you say it
This is how you show it
Listen to me baby
Don’t be easygoing
Tell me you don’t love me
I already know it
^^My favourite part
~Kevan -
Good poem but it is sad that someone can treat you like that. i'm sorry that that happened.
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thank you
background: i wrote this the day after taylor broke up with me (see my comment on the poem/song "shaylor")
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