A storm settled in the early morning,
~BOOM~
The electricity goes out in a flash,
The storm is giving it's full wrath,
My only source of light is coming from the flashes outside,
Through the corner of my eye I see the rusty swing set,
It used to shimmer as bright as the sun,
The horizon is barly visible,
The dirt has turned to cold, slimmy mud,
The once beautiful and strong roses are now frail and withered,
My delicate surroundings are turning bleak and gray,
The air is slowly leaving my lungs,
I feel as if someone is trying to suffocate me,
In desperation I open the door,
I collapsed right outside,
I feel the cold, wet rain dripping on my fragile hands,
And the Oxegen is slowly returning to my lungs,
I get up and go back inside,
Now with all the windows open and the water dripping in.
A contest entry
- Whatever you want to enter... by sweetpearl.
2400 points, ended February 17, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Oh my gosh that is such a great poem I didn't know you wrote such good poetry. Good write
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Well, you're not on my favourites list and you did choose words from both wordbanks instead of picking one (it seems you chose words from both but didn't use 10 from either one) ... you're making it hard not to disqualify your piece not that it has ANYTHING to do with the poem itself. I will have to think this over.
Poem wise, I liked it. The last line is my favourite as well as:
"My delicate surroundings are turning bleak and gray"
--the colourful world is dying; bring on the darkness! Not a bad write at all (don't know how much I like the "boom") but I'll have to think it over of whether or not I'll let this one slide.
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