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I've been too long in the dark


I'm gonna
sweep up the yard-
clear
all the junk from my barn;
it's time
to chop up some wood,
and light a blazing fire.

I'm gonna
unlock the doors-
place welcome mats
on the floor;
it's time
to sweep up the leaves,
and feel the sun again.

I've been
too long in the dark-
the season's
changing at last;
it's time
to open my eyes,

and see what comes to me.

Author notes

A fresh new morning in which to make a brand new start.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 41 of 41

  • aboomer silver member
    November 15, 2008
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    Love this!
    congrats on all the well deserved trophies!
    best wishes in the contest.


  • Rhythm Child
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou so much for entering
    i do not beleive in luck but i beleive in talent and it is a quality that all can have and what will win this contest

    message me for anything
    Billy (Rhythm Child)


  • HeavensDaughter
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this picture of the changing seasons and the parallel between the dawn of a new season and the dawn of day.


  • Scion
    January 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Quite imaginative and metaphoric. I like the picture you paint here and the unique structure. The fact that you have entered this into several... several other contests which have awarded you trophies already makes me unsure of it's importance to you in my contest. So, I like this, but it's on the cusp for me. Cheers.


  • hilly
    September 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    sigh. it's not gonna happen is it?


  • broken-colours
    July 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Simply excellent. A poem about the "spring cleaning" of your life. Rather thought-provoking, as well. Thanks for entering & best of luck to you in my contest.


  • Athena of Starlite
    June 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    A brilliant use of metaphor. LOVE IT!!!


  • sandgoddess
    June 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for this uplifting entry. I will comment on it later on.

    good luck,
    rachel

  • Virgoan
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful write. The brevity of this poem makes the readers think, realize and agree that once or even more we came across in such a path.

    My favorite lines:

    I'm gonna
    unlock the doors-
    place welcome mats
    on the floor;
    it's time
    to sweep up the leaves,
    and feel the sun again.

    Catching the moment in such a refine and distinct manner like what you have done here is great.

    I am a fan of short poems. A poem can be a glimpse of everything regardless of its length.

    Well done here fellow poet.

    Thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.

    ~VIRGOAN~


  • Florida Sunshine
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a terrific write~ We all need to clean up our lives or physically cleaning.... for a better outlook and to feel good about ourselves. Excellent Write ~ Thanks so much for submitting this into my 2nd chance contest!


  • Keith Drew gold member
    May 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yes nothing like a good clean up to blow away the cobwebs of discontent and start afresh. Just like the springtime your heart and mind to set your house in order. To await the dawn as you open up the dusty curtains and see the light! Well done!


  • Myjoy gold member
    May 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is good, a great visual. I enjoyed reading this one and thought it to be a great metphor. Cleaning up and taking out the trash. Well done.


  • XXBrunettexBarbieXX
    April 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hey this was a great write...i really enjoyed reading this write...it flowed smoothly and your words were powerful and strong keep writting your very talented

    ~Chrissy~


  • A Murderous Lament
    April 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmm..

    Interesting. Different style couldn't really get into this poem alot. Wasn't really like 'BAM' to me or whatnot. Sorry. Maybe just not for me. Thanks for entering


    A MURDEROUS LAMENT <\33


  • Heavens Child
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You go! A wonderful expression of picking yourself up and starting anew. I love the feeling of new vision and vitality this has. Thank you for the entry in the contest.


  • Lady-Pegasus
    April 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your contest submission as well as for following the rules. This is indeed a cute little write with an easy flow. I am going to remove it fom the contest, not because it is not good, it is, but because it is not exactly right for this contest. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *


  • Bazza
    March 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Well done and congratulations on a great write.
    Bazza


  • Maybe Anastasia
    March 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was great very moving. made my fingers twitch (a weird thing I do its a good thing) flow pretty good and is nicely done. Good write and thabks for the entry.


  • SensualWhispers
    March 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    oh my

    ........ this was great. You've got a great talent here and I loved the way you write. This is excellent . Thanks for entering the contet and the best of luck to you. kassie


  • LadyLavender gold member
    February 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Simple said, but full of deep sentiments. Beautiful!

    Thank you for entering and Good luck!


  • Whoochi gold member
    February 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwww loved this...coming out of the dark into the warmth of the bathing light...its fearful and you have done an excellent job describing...what a metaphorical genius you are....Brave again....


  • Errant Panther gold member
    February 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes we all manage to find ourselves in a rut, it's whether we have the honesty to face it and the courage to find our way back out of it that defines our character

  • bookworm987
    February 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    good job...different, short, but makes a point..best of luck in the contest =]

    [Elizabeth♥]

  • galkimba
    February 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I like it! Sounds like you are a big ole bear waking up from hibernation! LOL :)


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    February 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Incredible... Left Me Speechless!

    I really loved the flow and contrast of this poem. you really penned this poem very beautifully. the subject matter I liked and the wording was superb. I really enjoy poems of these caliber. Keep up the Grrrrrrrrrrrreat work and thanks for sharing such a wonderfully penned poem. Sincerely, Paul


  • February 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Wow Alex, this is a very well written and thought provoking Poem . Keep up the great work and best of work to you in the contest.

    Cheers
    Terry


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    February 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, you know what ,this is interesting, i mean it is nothing like any poem i have read in a while, i like it, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • sunny day
    February 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A Clean Sweep!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Alex, Thank you for sharing such a wonderful piece with all of us, it is so cleansing and heartwarming. I love the metaphorical sense it fills one with. We must all come out of the dark and welcome the light and warmth that life holds for all of us. If we embrace life and keep our hearts and minds open it will allow the light to come shining through. Your words were brilliant and I say kudos for you my dear sweet friend. Best wishes in the contest and keep that ink flowing. Love and God bless, Joyce


  • debilynn gold member
    February 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this sounds like me! its so hard to stay up with this cold weather. no good sun, bitter cold winds. this is what we will be doing in a few moths from now though. thank you for sharing this. great write. God bless you


  • wings of an angel
    February 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Alex this is a lovely poem bro well done good luck in the contest


  • AnnD Moderators member
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh i like the hopeful energy given out by this write.
    its definately a good feeling.
    bit too cold yet to open up the doors and shutters here though ha ha.

    Ann

  • Bad Bill
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    I liked the unfinished version, Alex, but I love the full thing! This is such a positive poem, it deserves to do well in the contest--good luck.
    Bill

  • Bringin Sexy Back
    February 4, 2007
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    Good job! Always stay positive about yourself!


  • ShaShay
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write

    I suffer from SAD so this hit a particular chord in this. You did a great job of showing how the atmosphere can effect the psyche. Pen on...


  • Swtpoetryman
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I've been
    too long in the dark-
    the season's
    changing at last;
    i'm gonna
    open my eyes.

    And see what comes to me.


    That sounds about right to me - YES - it sounds like it
    s a fine time to open all of your windows and your front and back doors to let the light shine in on everyone of your rooms - and to get out and about to feel the kiss of a gentle breeze and the touch of the hot sun on your face and hair! Have a fine Sunny Sunday, Mr. Floorboards - and Thanks SO MUCH for featuring this SUNNY piece for otherwise I would have sadly missed it today! Best wishes in the contest with it.
    Peace & Love!
    Earl.


  • Sacred Ground
    February 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is great! You have given us a bit of a charge with this one. Good job!


  • Inside and out
    February 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really do like this. I thought that it was great before. When you said that it was not finished...I thought it was...now that I read this, you were correct. This is stunning. You really know your stuff Alex. Well done dear poet.


  • sheltered
    February 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Yes. More great warm thoughts to brighten up the cold winter chill.

  • Inside and out
    February 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like the poem the way it is. It is uplifting and optimistic. A proactive poem. It can be interpreted just as it is...as a spring cleaning of the yard, or it can be interpreted as to life and mind and spirit. I quite like this the way that it is. Well done my friend.

  • Bad Bill
    February 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like the direction this appears to be heading in, Alex--can't wait to read the finished version.
    Bill

1 - 41 of 41