The Scholar King – Not an Entry!
Born at the early age of nought
and weaned at twenty one,
a love of boobies I was taught
from the time I’d first begun.
At kindergarten I excelled
at play with plasticene.
I’m lucky I was not expelled
for moulding things obscene.
Of course, you may not quite believe,
for you're nobody's fool
but it's a fact I once was banned
from going to Sunday School.
The "Love each other" bit they taught
and "Give thyself", and such,
they said that I should not apply
to girls who gave too much!!
I thought "Do to each other"
as a doctrine was just fine
till one girl caused a bit of bother;
my words she quoted to her mother:
"Show yours and I'll show mine!"
But that was in my early years
when I was young and free.
Now, I pursue my scrutinies
a lot more carefully.
They sent me to an all-boy school;
no girls were there to study,
I think I broke most every rule
but she was my best buddy.
At College they were very strict,
(the caning I won’t mention)
and, regularly, I was picked
for after-class detention.
Although it was forbidden then
for students to get laid,
we often did, behind the den,
with the youngest kitchen-maid.
But brilliant English tutors,
first at School and then at College,
taught me that other things than hooters
were essential to my knowledge.
So, in those years I was imbued
with a love of poetry
and serious music (not the crude
but classic repertory.)
Then on to University
where I studied both Accountancy
and English Literature as well
with Music Theory for a spell.
At University I found
a lot of student females.
who provided education sound
before these days of emails.
When I graduated finally
and entered business life
as a qualified accountant
I then met my first wife.
We had three lovely daughters who
were source of all my pride
but I regret to say that two
unfortunately died.
My first wife died. I'd suffered three
long years of life alone
when Edna agreed to marry me
and, thirty-two years later, we
can say our love has grown.
After 60 years of business works
I’ve finally retired
and, though I miss the fun and perks,
I never once got fired!
‘Twas in the year 2003
I got my own computer
and joined the site All-Poetry
where Catz was my first tutor.
I’ve made a lot of cyber-friends;
some have become most dear
although we live at different ends
and wish we were more near.
I’ve chosen several favourites
who form my special group.
and my Castle Huguelot now sits
as a home for all my troupe.
They’ve made me their elected King
and Edna is my Queen.
Here we can write most anything
(unless it is obscene.)
Angelica’s my Head of Harem
Mariza is my daughter
and Yemassee is there to scare’em
into doing what they oughter.
So now I spend my spare time writing
lots of poetry
and continuing my studies in
advanced Boobology.
Some say that I’m a kindly King
who loves my special throng
and they forgive me everything
but my poems that are too long.
I fear if I extend the score
you’ll think I am a bore
and so, I’ll finish off this rhyme
by saying: “Thankyou for your time!”
and I won’t write any more.
With Love and hugs, Hugh R.
Author notes
THIS POEM IS DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY,
COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY NOT AN ENTRY!!
GEEZ!! Can’t you #@%&$+'s READ?
In a list
- Ballads, Epics & History • next in list
- Humour & Fun Poems • next in list
- Huguenauties Poetry (NE) • next in list
A contest entry
- The "This is Sir Ima's contest for the Hugh Wyles Favorites group only" contest by huguenauties.
662 points, ended February 11, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I thought in anonymous contests I couldn't see the names of the authors? I'm seeing them, lol.
I read this a few days ago but have been so ill that AP had been far from my mind. Between the humor I learned a lot...I mean, I already knew the boobology, but the Accounting was new...btw I have an Associates degree in Accounting though I've never put it to use.
I learned about your first wife which Mariza may have mentioned but I have a bad memory/attention span sometimes.
See this is the point and it is too bad more didn't enter. Not only was it a chance to look at ourselves, but to show ourselves to others. I'd have added to the contest too except for that silly leaving thing and this never ending flu/cold thingie I have. I also hoped Mariza would enter because despite as much as I know about her, I bet there is lots more. I have a few more to read and will enjoy hopefully learning about others our group.
Thanks Hugh, and I'll honor your request to not consider it an entry, though I reserve the right to still give it my vote as one of my choices.
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Dear Yem,
I'm sorry on the one hand to learn that you have been smitten by the dreaded 'flu virus and hope that your anti-virus guard will soon cut in and repair any damaged 'files'.
On the other hand, I now understand with sympathy your lack of response to the brilliant personal sonnet and message I emailed to you and Sir Ima on 6th. inst. and am relieved that I hadn't somehow "put my foot in it" with what I said.
Thankyou for your kind opinion of my rather lighthearted, if exaggerated, biography. I do not think that the King, while having a duty to participate in huguenaut events, should compete with his subjects in the jousting. That is why the Royal submissions are labelled as non-entries.
Men and women have fought and died to protect your freedom and your right to vote as you like. Look at all those who voted for your President!
I too am aggrieved that, apart from the 'loyal few' there were not more entries in this most excellently contrived contest. I shall instruct the Herald Royal to draw up lists of honour and dishonour to be affixed to the Huguelot notice board.
With love and best regards, Hugh R.
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Outstanding rhymes as usual, sire, and a boisterous autobiography too. There are many gains in life, but also many losses
which you have learned to accept as part of the whole wonderful package. Humour is a great consolation, to each his own! 
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Dear Hugh,
You were weaned at twenty-one? No wonder you're obsessed with hooters!
I'm not surprised you were sent to an all boys school...there would have been way too much distraction for you with all those mammary glands in one room. 
You are a poet's poet (even when your poems go on and on). 
j/k Your love affair with rhyme shows in every word and line. Lucky for us you came to AP, it wouldn't be the same without you.
Love and hugs,
Maureen
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Such a wriggle of a giggle here....
I, too, am glad you are not in the runnign for holding a contest....I fear where angels may have to tread...lol.... <----
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Interesting reading
Hi Hugh,
WoW! A great description you have given us about your life. I am very impressed (hehe gotta suck up to our King) You were a naughty boy with the Kitchen maid.
But honestly, I am happy I read your entry as it tells all of us a lot about your life.
And we already know that BOOB'S are your speciality and isn't it about time you wrote another one for us?
HAHA, I can imagine what you were making with the plasticene.
Love Jen.
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LOL
Well well King Hugh!
The Kitchen Maid indeed,
You are a chap with no mishap,
With a healthy male need.
Plasticene at an early age,
I can certainly relate,
But it wasn't boobs that I was making,
Of that there is no mistake.
A rap on the knuckles,
A face in the corner,
A talk to my mother and all,
She chuckled and laughed,
And hugged me alot,
And hung up on the nuns when they called.
I started to crochet,
They thought they were socks,
Can you imagine?
To everyone's shock.
I wanted to keep all the boys warm,
I was a very giving girl,
I didn't know any better at all,
Now it makes my head swirl.
Thank you for your lovely poem,
Arohanui
Petratani xo
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Dear Petra and everyone,
That kitchen-maid I well recall
served many lads in need.
We lined up in the dining hall
to take our turn to feed.
And, round behind the swimming pool,
or even in the water
occasionally we would fool
with the music master's daughter.
Of course our surreptitious games
were oft' with danger fraught
and gentlemen don't mention names,
even if they get caught!
Thankyou all for your comments and applause.
Love and hugs, Hugh R.
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lol very good grampa. wonderful to see where the study of boobology has gotten you lol i must say your quite the expert so what ever happened to the kitchen maid grampa?
loves ya
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Good one Hugh
Dear Hugh,
This is a great description of you . Til and I had a good giggle over the kitchen maid.
I'm glad you found All Poetry because we've become best buddies and I have met a lot of wonderful people on here.
I enjoyed reading about your ealy days very much.
Am still laughing.
Love Bea
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HAHAHA ...that's quite an education, Hugh. But I see it covered the most important and elementary of required subjects. So Boobs was your favoritie subject of study, huh. I see you've done a most thorough research, even if for your own personal satisfaction... although there might be a market for your natural and educated expertise (that is if knowledge of spotting silicone swells is not a requirement )
This is such a cool poem, my dear friend. It's probably a good thing it's not an actual entry int the contest or the rest of us wouldn't stand a chance and YOU would have to host the next contest (perish the thought)
love and
Dee
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