My Life Sucks.
But not enough for anyone to care
My life Sucks.
But kids are worse off, everywhere
My life sucks.
But I really can't complain
My life sucks.
But I'm lucky all the same
My life sucks.
Two parents, money, perfect life
My life sucks.
But not enough to need a knife
My life sucks.
But I'm just a whiny brat
My life sucks.
I'm sure you've heard a lot of that
My life sucks.
So much that I just want to quit
My life sucks.
I wish I had REAL problems for a bit
A contest entry
- Our Poor Teenage Hearts by PonyPride.
950 points, ended April 21, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Was it too redundant?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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emotionally conveying
I like how the redundancy gives me the feeling that the message is read in between the lines. And when I read in between them............and start at the bottom, reversing the entire poem, I can crack the coded message..........
I wish I had REAL problems for a bit
So much that I just want to quit
I'm sure you've heard a lot of that
But I'm just a whiny brat
But not enough to need a knife
Two parents, money, perfect life
But I'm lucky all the same
But I really can't complain
But kids are worse off, everywhere
But not enough for anyone to care
Am I correct in assuming I have unlocked the hidden message in this poem? I knew it was a code!
(see, I told you my sense of humor was wackey!)
giggle, giggle.....
castaway
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I think it's kinda dumb that people don't think your problems are 'problems.' >.> this was an amazing read to me. I feel as if this is my life. Whether you were being cynical or sarcastic or whatever, I can really relate. <3
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Hmm.. these seems very sarcasic to me and I dont appreacheate it because tho there are others with major problems, of these whom i sympathese deeply for, the individual's pains r very important and especially those for teenagers. No, were not starving in Africa, but when we hurt it is REAL. Teenagers need to care about themselves to, while being aware of the world. But hiding your probems, pretending there not REAL, well that leads to suicide, to giving up, to cutting your arms until all you see is the scars. Our problems, there REAL.
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i think the poem is cute
its cynical but directed at oneself and not a cause or huge major problem the words dance with your eyes as you read them and manage to give the feeling of how much things suck ... well done
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I just emailed this to my teenage daughter.
I don't think I can extoll the poetic virtues of this, but as far as the message goes, double woot. -
im sorry but a pity party in rhyme. been in jail yet.
lost it all and started over again. i think not. dont
give up before the game starts. -
I love this for the honesty of it and how relatable it is. The repetion and the rhyme scheme was all really good. And I definitely did like this poem a lot!
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Well real problems suck..But then again what is a "real" problem to me might not be to anotha..Over all it iwas a good write
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I can relate so much. lol. All of this i can relate to except the line about not needin a knife cuz i used to be a cutter. Real problems suck man. lol. Anyway about the poem, It has good flow overall, I like the A-B rhyme scheme you have goin on, (that's my favorite!), and i'm sure a lot of people can relate. So good poem and i hope to read more of your work! :
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Laken
Yeah, well, I used to be a cutter too, but I used a razor. lol
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The last line caught my eye.
because, everyone has different problems.
Everyone has problems.
No ones problems are worse than others
because we only really experience our own and in our own eyes, our problems can be just as bad as someone elses are in their eyes.
I like the poem, and how you repeat the line
'My life sucks.'
Its a good poem.
good job. keep writing.
:]
if you want to talk about anything,
i'm always here for support.
|aiko|
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i can relate to this poem a lot cause i feel like this all the time!!!
i love it, specially...
My life sucks.
Two parents, money, perfect life
My life sucks.
But not enough to need a knife
it has a lot of powerful raw emotion...wow!
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lol this is a very funny poem. it is very entertaining. my favorite part was:
"My life sucks.
But I'm just a whiny brat
My life sucks.
I'm sure you've heard a lot of that"
it just made me laugh the most. well anyway good write and keep up the good work. dont ever stop writing poetry.
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a good point you are making, sometimes we just feel that we need something to make us appreciate what we have at the moment. a great write, keep up the good work
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i like the point that youre making here and i can relate to it quite well.
i think it would be a much more interesting write thogh if tou used other words for "sucks" like, the first and last stanza can both say sucks to prove the pojnt and pyll it together but other words wold pull the readers in.
overall good write though
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i can totally RELATE!!its a gr8 write u have a nice flow of words.....KEEP UP DA GOOOD WORK
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