Short bursts of air,
followed by a gust of pain,
tears burn past my eyes,
making thier way down my face.
Every beat pushs forth more blood,
tainted with pain,
every breathe becomes harder,
when faced with a friends love.
I hate my tears,
I hate that I cry,
I hate that I'm dying,
yet to the world,
I must lie.
Yes my love,
this is,
was my secret,
I'm dying.
Its spread far,
and stabbed deep,
flooding poison within me,
just as I poured poison into our love,
hoping to save you from this.
You haven't seen me for a while,
do you still remmeber my beautiful brown hair?
it is hear no more,
in its place a sick reminder.
Do you remember my blue eyes?
How tranguil they seemed?
They are are dull, almost lifeless,
red rimmed with sickness.
Do you remember our first time,
how young and strong I was,
now I'm as a leaf,
ready to be torn by the wind.
Remember my heart,
full of love for you?
Now it beats faintly,
faintly,
until,
it stops.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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It sounds so tragic. You write it from the point of someone on their last stand. I did like it, but the best was the end, when you drew it together and gave it finality in the last stanza. Great job; I really enjoyed it.
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Jenn I loved this poem ,I think you are a great poet and your stories are awesome
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Thanks.
I just wrote it in like two mintues. Disn't check for stanza's just wrote what I felt. -
Intense
Hey Jen!
I didn't know you an account until I saw your comment on Doug's page, so I thought I would come check out your poetry!
This poem is a heartbreaker, (I hope the sickness/death, is just a comparison to post break up emotion) but the poem is amazing. The only thing I really didn't care for way the peom set-up. It was odd the way the stanza's kept changing length,(It's just a personal prefference) but other than that I really enjoyed reading this.
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