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Die a Log Dialogue

 

“While wine still trickles fickle Death
must sheath sharp sickle, pause for breath
which hope for scope empowereth."

To phantom sigh said passer by.

"The spine that shivers sets the score
for mind beyond dark shadows hoar -
what's lust to who may prey no more ?"

To passer by ghost of reply.

“Tears, fears, arrears are paid in Time
as Trust plays out Life’s p[h]antomime
awaiting Paradise sublime."
To phantom sigh said passer by.

"Death knows no fears, they're faced before,
some trembling mirage sins restore.
Tears are drowned out by sonic roar."

To passer by said phantom sigh.

“No favours asked, no quavers given,
by backward glance no joys are driven,
but sins forgotten, sins forgiven.”

To phantom: “Why ?”
said passer by.

'Temptation taps a semaphore
of semi quavers sped instead
of scene that's seen, - Mort or Amor.'
To passer by said phantom sigh.

“All things Love conquers, - victory
of life sublime, - eternity
is hyphen syphon, surface sea,
which all must sail…”
said passer by.

'Upon Time's [s]wings - that base bass whore -
all face is surface phantom sped,
desire inspires, masks empty core.'
To passer by said Phantom sigh.

“Farewell ! my welfare lies elsewhere,
and yet lies not, believes in fair
winds which Time’s leaves for Life prepare.”
To phantom sigh said passer by.

“Your’s is not pitch or toss to call,
for finger beckon none forestall,
must drop what seems their wherewithal
to answer summons.”
 Phantom said.

“That may seem so in this dimension
yet other dreams may add extension,
prorogue fell sentence, toxin mention.”
To phantom: “Bye !” said passer’s sigh.

"Betimes by night c[l]ause rhymes with c[l]aw,
bell tolls the tocsin dark and dread, -
worms bore, fire burns. In store, - no awe.”
Life’s reasons seize on."
Phantom said...

“To others, therefore, bid adieu,
before sun dries dawn’s sparkling dew
as I am now so shall you, too,
lie, as a phantom, stark abed.”

Author notes

Option 2


after Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber


prorogue fell sentence ... put off evil sentence


words in [b]rackets vehicle two or more meanings
s[w]ings = wings or swings
c[l]ause rhymes with c[l]aw :
clause cause use case cues <-> claw law caw awe

mask http://www.flickr.com/photos/belljar/108616476/

Skeleton Hand : Photobucket

In a list

A contest entry

Courtesy welcome and extended [Reward: double points]

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • VampyreAnna
    September 28
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is very deep and different. You never fail to come up with something totally creative! Great poem & good luck with your contests!

    . Rewarded 4


  • The Moonchild
    September 27
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Hm.. this is very interesting and so different. I admit I had a hard time trying to understand this as English is not my first language but I enjoyed it nevertheless! It was dark and eerie. Kinda reminded me of those old Middle Ages, hehe. Well done! You are one of the most original poets out there!

    Thanks for entering my contest!
    Blessings,
    ~M

  • Kazytc gold member
    September 1

    Edit | Reply

    Wow this is very eerie and deep!

    This is a phenomnal penning, so chilling and thought provoking, with olde worlde terminolgy and charm, and great ambiance too.
    Brilliant rhyme and flow as well as fabulous poetic graphics, and fantastic plays on words title too, most origianl and very deep and intense as well.
    Gee whizz this is powerful and makes its presence very well felt! Bravo, well done, love it!
    Best of luck in my contest and thanks millions for entering your entry is brilliant.
    Poetic Hugs & Thanks
    Kaz.
    Kazytc xx

    . Rewarded 8


  • BlackBloodyRose
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    i really..um...dont understand...just...too confusing for my mind. i can tell it is a good poem...just ...not what I understand at this time

  • EeyoreUK
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm im not sure if this was what i was looking for, but I like it in a strange sort of way. Best of luck in the contest, and thanks for entering.

  • phantomwriter
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    You were absolutely right. I do like this piece. I knew I would as soon as I saw the Phantom of the Opera photo at the beginning. I love the use of pseudo homonyms (homophones?). This was a wonderful piece with beautiful imagery, dialogue, and flow. Thank you for sharing this with me.


  • skyviewexpress
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. A bit of a tongue twister! It was of course, beautifully written. The repetition is brilliant! Definitely something different and new! Much enjoyable! Thank you for entering and good luck!
  • liquidmindforever
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    The rules state 40 lines max. You have 53 if I count correctly.
    Can you carve this down to 40?
    It is of great intrigue and interest.
    The repetition rocks
    Love the music.
    Let me know if you will edit, or I cannot allow
    the entry according to the rules.
    Thank you for entering DEATH

    love light peace,
    liquid

  • Alesana Bloodmoon
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I must have not mentioned that prewrites are for the third option only, but this is my fault, not yours, so you will be allowed to keep this in the contest. Your poem was very good, I especially like this verse:

    Betimes by night c[l]ause rhymes with c[l]aw,
    bell tolls the tocsin dark and dread, -
    worms bore, fire burns. In store, - no awe.”
    Life’s reasons seize on.' Phantom said.

    Very emotive, and puts images in your head. I like your form and the fact that you have made such a beautiful poem out of one of my favourite songs, from one of my favourite films. I am extremely impressed.

    Very best of luck
    *Kirsty*


  • waydownuponjoy
    February 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Such is the way ...

    Such is the way you have with words
    that some may think you quite absurd!
    Not I, said she, who likes fine wine
    and rush she gets, by what's inferred ...

    Nice poem Jonathan! I enjoyed the reoccuring, "Phantom said and Passer's sigh" lines (with other renditions) as they add an interesting dialog, as if I the reader sit listening in on a conversation rather than participating!

    edit, edit and edit again, I see! joy

1 - 14 of 14