So you think you are hurting, do you?
so you think your world’s at an end?
you are feeling that life’s not worth living
and into great depths you descend.
Well, you’re looking at an expert,
a Batchelor of Fine Heart,
who being the master of anguish,
is number one in the chart.
I grieve for the loss of my sanity
plunged into an abyss, defunct,
swept under in torrents of teardrops,
emotions and feelings, debunked.
The pain I endure is remorseless,
nagging and pounding my soul,
a soul that screams out in torment
that no balms or salves can console.
Do you hunger for self laceration
to dispel this anxiety and dread?
Could a knife diminish the throbbing
of torture, inside your head?
If not, don’t dwell on self pity
for pain will soon melt into shade,
for none bear the hurting, as much as,
those who depend on the blade.
Author notes
I chose option 4
Today I read your rules
A contest entry
- Luchas con Vida by FlipperSwitch.
600 points, ended February 18, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Battle of the Bronze by th3sl4y3r.
580 points, ended June 14, 2007, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just a few twisted options *new option + unlimited entries*... by AutumnsFlame.
450 points, ended August 2, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ... seeking shelter in the strange silver song by Immortal Obscurity.
400 points, ended August 1, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This is definitely an interesting take on things, and the last stanza just about sums it up. I often wonder what sorts of things drive people to such desperation that they feel the need to cause themselves physical harm... A wonderful, thought-provoking read. Thanks for entering!
Laura x
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Hmmm.... I quite enjoyed this! Excellent work right here! You're lucky because I don't say that to a lot of people.... I love your wordplay and the theme just made it cool... thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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HEARTFELT
I could feel the emotions that's written here, so deep and powerful by a very skilled poet. What beautiful talent you have my friend that I wish you luck in your challenge...
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If not, don’t dwell on self pity
for pain will soon melt into shade,
for none bear the hurting, as much as,
those who depend on the blade.
You are strongly using your lines as per the demand of the metaphors and the subject as well and that is beauty and the strength of this great poem...It is really a great heartfelt write by the soul of the poet which is here bringing the universal depth in every word of this work ...Here we can see the beauty of the truth and the logics of the life as well..Indeed a thought provoking work is here ...Thank you so much for sharing it...
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I really appreciate this work. I hope you continue writing because I would love to see what else you have to offer. You paint a rich picture with this pallet of words taking us along enveloping us in the feeling and emotion that pores from each line. very captivating in your choice of words. I liked the overall theme of this poem.
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Excellent depiction of self harm and a little scary to read. This poem is so sad and full of anguish and misery. Well written. Good luck in the contest.
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Wow- very nicely written! Thank you for reading the rules carefully by the way- I like your form and rhyme, all very well put together. Thank you.
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this is very good. i liked it a lot. and you ae wright suicide and self harm is horrible. i dont like it at all. well anyway good job on writing your poem and dont stop writing poetry.
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This is a dynamic poem. Sad and dark with imagery, but very easily read. Good job.
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Depression depicted so well. Great job of bringing out what a cutter or depressed person might feel. I can relate to this piece. I was quite taken.
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