My hands are shaking,
As I make my way to the medicine cabinet.
I pick up the bottle of painkillers,
These are going to make me forget.
I read the bottle of painkillers,
A certain amount, it says not to exceed.
So I know if I go over that,
Then I will surely succeed.
I’m still not sure,
I haven’t made my decision,
I’m so nervous and scared,
Tears start to blur my vision.
I just can’t do this,
It doesn’t seem right.
I can’t give up this way,
I’m going to have strength and fight
I haltingly put the bottle down,
And sink to the floor.
I’m shaking all the way through,
Straight to my core.
I can’t seem to stop shaking,
But the decision is finally over.
As I start to get up to leave,
I hear a slight sound, a whisper.
It seems like the pills,
Are calling out my name.
It’s still so achingly tempting,
That my heart fills with shame.
I reach for the bottle,
And slowly open the lid.
I try to fight back,
But my hands won’t listen, they forbid.
I tilt the bottle to the side,
And out tumbles a handful of pills.
I reread the bottle and hope,
This is enough for the final kill.
I toss a few in my mouth,
And take a drink of water.
This is so much easier,
Less pain then the other.
I don’t know how many I’ve taken,
The bottle slips from my hand.
Little pills spill everywhere,
As I try to get up and stand.
I have changed my mind…
I don’t want to die…
I won’t do this again…
I want a retry…
Sadly it can’t happen,
My choice has been taken away.
My body hits the floor,
And my sight turns a little grey.
Lying on the floor,
My body turning numb.
It’s a sad thing,
This person I’ve become.
My eyes equal with the floor,
The little pills all around me.
I didn’t want to take it,
At least not to this degree.
My final thought as I lie here,
Is I wish to live still,
I fight my hardest,
But I gradually lose my will.
My eyes start to close,
This is my final thrill,
And the last thing I see, before I close my eyes,
Is a tiny little pill.
Author notes
here is my second poem... the theme for me... are the many different ways to commit suicide... i know you have read this already... but it goes with my theme... thanks and i hope you enjoy it again... lol
-tabbykat10988
A contest entry
- Luchas con Vida by FlipperSwitch.
600 points, ended February 18, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everythin angst by BarbedWireButterfly.
600 points, ended March 28, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Truth Of Life contest Round TWO (invite only) by xandercheerios.
800 points, ended July 15, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please pick your favorite lines and tell me what you think... thanks -tk
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I knew I've read this before! I'm like... seems familiar... still love it!
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To be honest, because of the kind of poems we've been discussing, I was actually picturing an ending where the pills turn out to be just sleeping pills and don't end up having any serious damaging effect on the person... but I do see the irony, how the person wants to kill him/herself, knows it's wrong, is tempted, fights it, then takes the pills WANTING to die, but then changing their mind... and seeing the little pill that caused it all... very noice! And since we seem to be doing a request for criticism thing, would ya check out my Chaos vs Order? THX
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very very interesting. I've felt like this many times except I walked away and it was scissors instead of pills. this is extremely thought provoking. thanku for entering and good luck
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OMG! This makes me so sad, I've never read a poem that made me want to cry before but this poem almost makes me want to cry I'll fight back the tears though I think it hits me this hard because my friend tried killing himself this way, I almsot him forever cause of 10 tiny little pills Anyway it's a great write, you have real talent Tabby Keep up the great work
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I loved it..it was a great piece. It showed a lot of emotion about the fight we worged between ourselves when we have just had enough of the world and just want to die. Awsome job!
Ro -
Awsome!!
You have done a excellent job with this one I really love it..It is full of emotion and hurt,and is such a common thing..
My fave lines are
"My eyes start to close,
This is my final thrill,
And the last thing I see, before I close my eyes,
Is a tiny little pill."
As it gets to this last Stanza/Para,They realize what they have done,and its too late to go back,and yet as their final vision is fading all they can see is a little pill,and that medication is the reason for this all,for them not being around..
Really good job!! -
Fave lines:
I haltingly put the bottle down,
And sink to the floor.
I’m shaking all the way through,
Straight to my core.
It seems like the pills,
Are calling out my name.
It’s still so achingly tempting,
That my heart fills with shame.
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I want to say this is a great write and keep up the good work! Also i want to say thanks for the feedback that you gave me on my poem.
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this is an excellent write. it's so sad that people can have it so bad as to take their lives.
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I do like it and thank you for carefully reading my rules. Much appreciated. The rythme is slightly off in areas, but the story line is good and I enjoyed that you described the almost insanity like play by your hands. Great write
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Wow. I like it. The ending.. Was. Excellent.
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Ooh I likey!
I haltingly put the bottle down,
And sink to the floor.
I’m shaking all the way through,
Straight to my core.
Love that part.
Great work.
Speedie xoxo
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