Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

"I Can !" EMIT TIME

SmileKindly Refer to NotesSmile

.

.

This retourne shows how Time bright glows,
I
nspiring plan Life offers man,
Maintains red rose, sustains verse, prose,

Egg, chicken, span, - ensure ‘I can !’

TIME’s sum’s not dumb, repeating drum
I
nspiring plan Life offers man,
May link ‘become’ through rule of thumb

EMIT true scan light once began.

 

The heart that sows is star that glows
In tune reel ran fed through rhyme’s fan,

Maintains red rose, sustains verse, prose,

Ends in well ran, begins “I can !”

 

Time’s reel ebbs, flows, all comes and goes,
I
n caravan reversing scan
Much magic flows, touch insight knows,

Egg, chicken, span, - ensure ‘I can !’

.

Smile                Smile                   Smile

Egg, chicken, span, - ensure ‘I can !’

Much magic flows, touch insight knows,

In caravan reversing scan, -
T
ime’s reel ebbs, flows, all comes and goes.

Ends in well ran, begins “I can !”

Maintains red rose, sustains verse, prose,

In tune reel ran fed through rhyme’s fan, -

The heart that sows is star that glows.

 

EMIT true scan: light, once began,

May link, ‘become’ through rule of thumb,

Inspiring plan Life offers man.

TIME’s sum’s not dumb, repeating drum.

Egg, chicken, span, - ensure ‘I can !’

Maintains red rose, sustains verse, prose,

Inspiring plan Life offers man.
T
his retourne shows how Time bright glows.

__________________________________ 

.

Smile                                               Smile 

;

How Time bright glows This retourne shows.

Life offers man Inspiring plan,
sustains verse, prose,
Maintains red rose.

Ensure ‘I can !’ Egg, chicken, span.

Repeating drum, TIME’s sum’s not dumb,
Life offers man
I
nspiring plan
through rule of thumb,
May link ‘become’,

light once began, EMIT true scan.

 

Is star that glows The heart that sows ?
Fed through rhyme’s fan,
In tune reel ran

sustains verse, prose, Maintains red rose,

begins “I can !” Ends in well ran,

 

all comes and goes, Time’s reel ebbs, flows.
reversing scan
I
n caravan, -
touch insight knows
Much magic flows

Ensure ‘I can !’ Egg, chicken, span.

.

Smile                    Smile                Smile      

. 

Ensure ‘I can !’ Egg, chicken, span,

touch insight knows. Much magic flows

reversing scan In caravan, -
all comes and goes,
T
ime’s reel ebbs, flows.

Begins “I can !” Ends in well ran,

sustains verse, prose, Maintains red rose

fed through rhyme’s fan, In tune reel ran -

is star that glows The heart that sows ?

 

Light, once began, EMIT true scan

through rule of thumb. May link, ‘become’ !

Life offers man Inspiring plan.

Repeating drum, TIME’s sum’s not dumb

Ensure ‘I can !’ Egg, chicken, span

sustains verse, prose, Maintains red rose,

Life offers man Inspiring plan.

How Time bright glows This retourne shows.

Smile                                        Smile

 

Author notes

Although this is shown as a double mirrored retourne the poem has been framed so as to alternate each and every line within any given stanza ... although only in four cases can the acrostic palindrome EMIT TIME run throughout.

The Mirror effect enables the poem to be read top down TIME or bottom up EMIT - The Retourne is of course only mirrored in the mirror if one reads bottom up.

This offers a possibility of 4 x 4 x 12 x 64 combinations

see Seasonable Roll Reversals followed by Retourne Knell
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2557200


Enjoy !

In a list

Courtesy welcome and extended

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • Superb

    Wow, most unique. First time i've read one like this.
    Very well written indeed. I liked the unusual imagery which this one created for me.
  • Very, very interesting, this has a surrealist quality to it, and the way that you included the chicken/egg argument is humerous. Overall the ideas contained in this poem are both impacting and intersting. The secular nature also goes quite a way to portray the fraility of life in time. An excellent write.


  • Ellis gold member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A pretty sound -- that's all

    I didn't get anything out of this because it didn't say anything -- meaningful.

    See my poem: "What Is Time?" for something meaningful.

  • Ender Tyberius
    September 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Very nice, I love the way the words roll. Its had a rhythm to it that made it fun to read. And the mirror effect, impressive.

  • Providence
    August 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Oh what a lovely complicated matrix of thought and time. I love the mirror effect. It gave the piece the feel of flowing back unto itself. Much like the journey of a soul through time.

    I tried this form once and it just was a mess. Crafting a piece of artwork like this is more intricate then one would believe.

    Wonderfully done…
    as always…

    Marianne


  • Sinnastarr silver member
    July 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a verhhy complex piece of work. I enjoyed it very much. it is very obvious that time is on your side. Keep devoteing this much time to your art and great things will indeed come to you.

  • Lady-Pegasus
    February 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your contest submission. Definitly an obviously time consuming piece. It does emit a bit of pomposity to me, although not in a detractive way. (hehe yes they were used on purpose hehe) The length is a tiny bit of a put off, but I can see it's use as such. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *


  • Ontarah
    February 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very intricate format that must have required a lot of meticulous work. I commend on being brave enough to try it and on doing so well. Thanks for entering and good luck.
  • Molassis
    February 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW! You've done a good deal of hard work on this haven't you?!? I have no clue as to this form, how it goes or anything BUT I think it's a good piece!

    Best wishes to you in this contest!

    ~Melissa


  • Jonathan ROBIN gold member
    February 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    < Timelessness

    T ime
    I s
    M utable
    E very
    L ayer
    E xpanding
    S ubtly
    S o
    N ature's
    E xistence
    S ings
    S oftly
  • deleteit
    February 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like what I see...and for someone that is new to forms and structures, you have definitely presented me with more to learn with. Definitely inspiring. I like how you were able to do the mirror effects. Twisting and shaping it to fit exactly how you wanted it. Definitely devoted! Brilliant to say the least! Thanks for entering and the best of luck


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    February 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    T ick-tock-tick-tock-tick
    I n the midst of a circular - glass,
    M ove in mechanical motions
    E ating the seconds which pass.
    E motion
    M otions
    I n through the outer
    T hen in
    S tatic is only the line
    T ick-tock-tick-tock-time
    I neffible jester
    M ystery, maker, giver or taker
    E very moment mine.



1 - 17 of 17