And that's all I would need
Cut a sharp figure in the gray winter afternoon
No smoking, hands in pockets, working a stress ball
Love to feel its give beneath my take
My fingers work and work it, deft, agile,
Watching the fuzzy snow filled horizon
Feel without looking, slushy brown sugar cinnamon plowed driftballs
encasing my workboots with the good tread
Avoiding the eyes of the pretty blonde
In the black car, heading down from the convenience store
I know she would have the scent of amber
And that strawberry hair
Gets everywhere
When you wad it up in strong lethal fingers and pull
No screaming
She slows, her little fingers pump the automatic door lock
Cause I shouldn't be standing here
Like someone getting his mail at the box
Waiting to cross
Into my nice split entry house
With the roomy deck
Yet not like that, because she knows she has never seen the likes of me in this sleepy little neighborhood
And she wants to get home to make dinner
For her sweetie, off work with the flu bug
And snuggle him up nice and tight
Like the even prettier blonde (well she was awhile ago)
*pause* *Smile*
Snug as a bug in a rug in the back
Of my ride, coming up the grade
Green van, one window covered with plywood
White trash limo
Turns the corner, passes Nosey Blondie
Who looks back, for an instant,
Cuz she watches too much "Law and Order"
To see him pull over as easy
As I glide on in the passenger side
And pull my deluxe peacoat around me
Like someone from that old series
"Dark Shadows"
I know how it attracts those little amber scented women.
Author notes
Saw a stranger on the roadside the other day....
In a list
- Anne Rice Readers group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Blasphemous Rumours by Exodus.
500 points, ended February 5, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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luv this
by the way this picture im using was my stress ball but i squeezed hermis so hard he popped lol
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lol Thank you, I haven't ever had the time to write a next chapter to this one or to a few others....someday...
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OK read
I guess she, Friday, is talking about periods at the end of lines or several lines to complete thoughts. But that's prose and poetry and prose are not the same. They have different structures. It's hard to judge what some contest starters deem necessary to satisfy their desires. Probably if you read some of their stuff you might be able to tell what they will accept but, that might be asking too much from some judges too. -
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Thanks for the comment. I have a couple of creepy stories floating around in my head for someday when I have time to write as much as I want. As for the contest judging, etc., I mostly enter if the idea is too creative to pass up or seems like a challenge that rubs me the wrong way on any given day (like my Banque des mots... etc. lol)I am usually amazed if I win. I actually saw a guy in a peacoat down the road waiting for a rundown van and neither belonged in my neighborhood and since I have an overactive, if not always well-scripted, imagination....the rest is AP history. Thanks again for reading, have a beautiful day.
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I love how you tell a full story in this piece while still making the reader feel like they have stumbled across smoething private that has already begun in the telling. That said, as much as I enjoyed this piece the almost non-existant punctuation (something that I had mentioned in my contest) really retracts from the story and confuses one slightly. Anyway thankyou for entering and best of luck.
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Thanks for reading and the comments, and thank you for this contest, it was fun and interesting for me! Very inspiring as well.
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Looke like there might be a new Law in Order or even
Missing coming soon huh...lol...
Remind me a bit of one I wrote about number and bathroom wall and the consequences that became because of it.
Hugs...Eddy
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Eddy, thanks for the comment, yes, this got me to thinking about the kind of psychological thrillers I like to read and watch, not that this piece is that strong, but maybe I can branch out from my usual stuff once in awhile eh? WHat was the title of yours that you mentioned, I would like to read it. Have a great weekend! -K
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