Come, spread your wings, and fly next to me,
Back into the shadows where we're meant to be.
Come and forget what's good and what's right,
We'll do what we want, we'll rule in the night.
Dark angel, you'll come, raising your hands,
Lifting me up, beginning the ends.
Each of our days will start with a night;
Dark angel, you'll come, you'll be by my side.
Come and don't go, forget what you had,
Cause you have me now, the good and the bad,
Come when it's night, go back in the day,
Up in the sky, we will find our way.
Dark angel, you'll come, raising your hands,
Lifting me up, beginning the ends.
Each of our days will start with a night;
Dark angel, you'll come, you'll be by my side.
Dark angel, just be, don't leave me alone!
With me forever, you'll have what I own.
Be my protector, you're all that I want,
We'll collapse together, frozen in ground.
You are the one that will come in the night,
Dark angel of mine, my last ray of light.
I'll be yours completely, cause you are the one,
You're my dark angel, you'll never be gone.
Author notes
~By Masky
As I said, there are lyrics for a future song I may write. I haven't made my mind about the music yet, but I think there would be in the gothic rock style. They're...dark. But I have doubts about it sounding a little too...may i say in love? Anyway, I am looking to your comments, and ideas, so please write anything you think about the poem. And if you think I can improve it somewhere, just go ahead and say it. Thanks!
A contest entry
- Dark...? by ScrewAllOfYou.
600 points, ended August 24, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Love by TimeAfterTime.
425 points, ended September 8, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - be dark and emotinal by darkangel-darksoul.
300 points, ended December 20, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dark LOVE, sad, desperate love... by Selene Tremere.
400 points, ended March 13, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Love by The Darkness.
300 points, ended March 25, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can You Feel The Love? by Abstract Image.
400 points, ended March 9, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What was your opinion about "Dark Angel"?
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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No. Sorry.
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Congrats on all the trophies!
This is beautifully dark and in love.
And that's one of my favorite kinds of writing, dark love. The normal love is too cliche.
Anyways, great write. Thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest. -
This poem is amazing from start to finish. I just loved it! XD For some reason i feel that i would be his dark angel. I would be on more the the angel side while he would lean more toward a dark elf. I think you should go ahead and make it into a song because oh my gosh it would be amazing and if you do i soo wanna hear it...thanks for entering GL.
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I think it is fantastic!
beautiful write! -
This could definitely be a song.
I've written about dark angels myself and find this to be instantaneously great. Sometimes in the darkness we've left ourselves to breed thoughts in which we need the darker one's company.
Also, I found the line "dark angel of mine, my last ray of light" to be genuine and a polar opposite in itself. genius.
thanks for the submission. judging is underway. ; -
so i really enjoyed this. I had a gothic tune in mind when i was reading it, and it was beautiful....I also love the imagery and the fact that your lyrics gave me a little music video in my head.
and yes your lyrics are dark.......to an extent. I think you should flesh it out....change a few phrases to something of a morbid nature.....but that's just me.
I'd love to hear this sung sometime.
thanks for entering -
I loved this part...
Dark angel, you'll come, raising your hands,
Lifting me up, beginning the ends.
Each of our days will start with a night;
Dark angel, you'll come, you'll be by my side.
Come and don't go, forget what you had,
Cause you have me now, the good and the bad,
Come when it's night, go back in the day,
Up in the sky, we will find our way.----Thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck. Shelly
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wow this has been in A LOT of contests lol thanks for entering
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wow! it's easily seen why you have so many trophies for this poem! very good! good luck!
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i really loved the imagery in this piece. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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I really dig it and if it was a song I would totally jam to it! The rhyming is very fun and very clever...over all a really good write! Thank you so much for your entry and good luck!
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Lovely piece =)
I loved the flow and the rhyme.
Favorite Part:
You are the one that will come in the night,
Dark angel of mine, my last ray of light.
I'll be yours completely, cause you are the one,
You're my dark angel, you'll never be gone.
And I loved the repetition
That was a lovely addition
Thanks for joining my contest
Good Luck!
♥[Katee]♥ -
Nice work, construction is spot on and it creates a nice mythos and atmosphere. There is genre of music aot of people call "Love metal" , groups like The Rasmus and H.I.M.. They could do this piece great justice. It left ample room for personal interpretation and perspective. Kept my attentiion through out . Nice wordplay and scheme as well. Thanks for the great read.
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Bingo! That's about the bands I was listening to in that time of my life ( I guess they reflect themselves in here, do they?
)..Thank YOU for the great comment 
~Masky -
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Yeah it is definately that flavor. I listen to lot of that myself. As a lyrics writer we have to be prepared that actually alot of different genres can pick up a piece and before you know it a piece that written to a metal rythum cnan be turned inoto a country song by some musician. But that's actually being a great writer , that musicians of all genres can access your work and make something of it. I can hear quite a few people singing this, Evanescence, Courtney Love, Bitch Alert...even Stevie Nicks or Doro Pesch could throw a nice twist on this piece.
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once again as I said about your other poem, the repetition kinda gets annoying and cliche in parts.
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the imagery is wonderful in this poem. the darkness the ryhming everything was good.
welcome to the finals=] -
Awww very beautiful dark imagery here, very strong and I like the rhyme and the way you worked this here.
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WOW : Dark angel, just be, don't leave me alone! that touched my heart( there was someone really special who once told me something like that...)I loved it!
Awesome poem
Thank you really much for entering and best of luck!^^
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Yhank you so very much! I am surprised I won - there were so many other good poems! I have to say that I feel a little smug getting silver out of them all. Thanks again!!
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I really enjoyed reading this. Not sure if it's dark enough for this contests though. Great lyrics indeed. Loved it!
All the best at judging
Gaylene
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Ha! I knew I recognized this one! I'll be a bit more thorough this time:
It has it's moments for sure, and dark-love songs are my weakness... The only thing was, it seemed to lack passion. With a title like, "Dark Angel", I felt that it had a lot more potential than what I saw here. It would work a lot better as a song, than just reading it! Oh, and line 10 should be 'cause, not cause. Either way, though, a solid attempt. Well done, and good luck!
Laura
xxx
[I already gave you clappies, so no more clappies for you!] -
Nice imagery - little bland in places but you worked the imagery back up nicely again. Nicely penned.
Thanks for entering,
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*intones*
you are in violation of rule 1)a.iii. CONTEST WHORES
you will be excused if you upload a shoddy youtube video of you singing it poorly. -
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OOhh, yeah. It might be easier just removing it, 'cause, you know...
... Bad voice over here! *what did the word bunny stand for here??*
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hahaha!
well.....comeon! i hate that I cannot figure out how it should be sung!
so if it's possible then ya should do that! -
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You know, like Nightwish's ..."Dead Boy's Poem". That rhythm
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This is gorgeous, hun... I could hear the heavy guitars and drumbeats, along with Amy Lee's voice singing, as I read your poem. It will make a fantastic song! Bravissima!
Love and light always,
Laura, aka Immortal
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beautiful write here, This would make a powerful song or poem either way, an Original if i've ever seen one, (^.^) ty for entering and good luck in the contest
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I can imagine this as a song, the flow is nice, the idea quite original.
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This was an interesting write. Future lyrics huh? Well, keep up the good work. Thinks for your entry.
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it is good to see a piece celebrate the darkness, for in the darkness, there is often serenity.
This does work very well as lyrics.
Good write and congrats on gold.
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I thought this was a very good write and the rhyming was wonderful
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A very good write but not quite what i was looking for id call it dark but not really horror did you read my discription i really liked this it just is not really what i am looking for great job though
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Great write. Love the last verse...nice write...keep up the good work...
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Just to be fair, i'll give you this. Sorry, didn't have the points at the time.
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Aww, you needn't...
Thank you very much, for both the previous comment and the happy clapping faces. Made me happy
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Dark it is
Dark I like
You surely know
How to give a fright.
lol. good one and good luck. -
Oops. I forgot to check your author comments as well. There's something missing. I'd hate to DQ this piece, so could you go back and reread all the guidelines (not just the bits w/ "*" by them)?
Thank you,
-Blue -
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Oh God, I feel so ashamed...I am sorry, Blue, I forgot to edit. And I really wanted to!
I hope it's okay now. Thank you for both pointing it out and for commenting on my poem...err...lyrics
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A great write. Thank you for entering it in my contest. I'll be back to look at it again later for final judging.
Good luck in the contest.
-Blue -
thank you for your wonderful entry in this contest! you are truly talented. points and trophies dont need that to prove it!
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Hmmm..this is so sweet! I can feel the truth and sincerity.
I felt like I actually heard you reading this aloud, as I was reading ..
Good luck in my contest!
~~GRACE~~
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I would love to hear this put to music. Excellent write so full of love and emotions. Good luck in my contest
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Beautiful
This reminds me of something Hinder would write.
it's a really descriptive song, and I can honestly see this being sung.
Thanks so much for telling me about it,
I really did like it a lot!
hope to read some more of your writes,
as for now I have to go,
Tonight's movie night.lol.
thanks so much again!
Much love,
~*Jess*~
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this is a very darkly beautiful poem,you have penned a true piece of magic here. such amazing language, i wish you luck in the contest
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Very nice flow... I especially enjoyed "beginning the ends". The only part of the flow that found at all rocky was the false rhyme own/ground, but if you are planning on making this into a song, as you say, the rhyme scheme doesn't have to be perfect, or anywhere this close to it.
I have to say, I ordinarily do not like works of this nature, tho' I have never exactly been able to put my finger on why. This was an interesting exception as I found the rhythmn very agreeable and the subject matter not at all trite.
Good write, good luck in your future works.
Breakdown:
Image: 7.8/10
Emotion: 6.9/10
Rhyme and flow: 8.5/10
Cohesion: 9.5/10
Message: 9/10
Teen angst coefficent: +2.1
Overall: 8.8/10 - well done. :-) -
Nice poem, great flow. I particularly like the second verse. And the second line of the last verse. Really good poem! Keep writing!
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a good poem/song, good imagery used. i thank you kindly for entering your poetic piece and good luck to you in this contest - spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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I really Liked it, Wat kiind of music would it be put 2? If you do make it a song, I'd luv 2 hear it. Keep up the good work.
Luv MDH xoxo -
you have talent dont give up writin
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