You spoke my name like a
thunderclap
giving the lie to the surrounding universe
and still it proved ineffectual
you spoke my name like a
thunderclap
written on stone tablets
and the loss was universal
but there was nothing to be done,
there could be no
reversal.
thunderclaps have no place
in the universe built upon defeaning
silence
and your wordless warmth was dashed
upon the rocks of despair
along with my heart
a thunderclap? why should I,
when I've tasted the lash of lightning
biting
and crashing into my universe.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice poem
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The third and fourth lines are once again trademark DF. That matter of fact slap in the face. I used your style in lines seven and eight of my most recent piece reminding all the relatives who abandoned 'Connie' to make a statement and then make the slap. The piece is called, "Aunt Connie's Blanket". Your crisp style in relationship pieces should be something you consider as the thing that is all your own. Like DNA it continues to course through being. This is another dynamite piece and one of the reasons we have become close. I happen to like the style. RC
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Thank you very much RC. I will be around to check on your work when I get the chance. There, I will be able to give you a more detailed conversation.
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Wow! What a powerful poem! I must say, the first time you used thunderclap, I was already pulled in your poem. Very nice, dark in it's way, especially the end, and extremely well done! Good stuff
Commander
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Thank you very much. I am glad that you liked my poem.
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