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Two Short Poems Here.

-Don't Forget (For Hope)-


Crimson love
Take my hand
O, bright power
Coursing blood through my veins
Win my smile, lead me on
To eternity dusk, I travel
With raven locks curling 'round
Hold on to me, to us
Don't forget, I found you
I grasped flailing possibilities
And lost.
For hope.



**********************************


-Teenage Fears-


She isn't so pretty, with scars on her chest
She isn't so funny, laying on a hospital bed, barely breathing
She isn't so nice, looking up with sadened eyes
Don't try to fix her, she's terminally broken
Through long days, and longer nights
She played.
She isn't so lively, when she's dying




Author notes

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Forever-Damned
    February 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I read what you said about liking the first one better - I disagree. I think they are both absolutely amazing! Simply beautiful! No not simply.. Purely. Anyways, you get my drift! You are a talented one Mon! Don't forget that! Xx


  • Lady Disdain
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the first one! It had a lot of feeling. The second one wasn't quite as feeling, but definately a teenager P.O.V. Good Job!


    • Black Panic
      February 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hey, thanks for the comment :0) I too like the first better. Just trying different style, yeah!
      Apprectiated, - Black.


  • Black Mamba
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well well, I'm not really good at the constructive...I don't see anything wrong, if thats the way you wrote it thats the way its meant to be...it comes from you not others, but Yes I'm a tool and I don't write SO i HAVE NO EFFING IDEA! I think they're both awesomely fine the way they are. much clappings


    • Black Panic
      February 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Why, thank ye muchly.
      and you should write, because you would be GOOD. Bifft.

1 - 5 of 5