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My Secret Place

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MY SECRET PLACE


There's a magical place that I often visit,
where all of my dreams and wishes come true.
A special place where I can be myself,
where happiness always seems to follow through.

In this place are creatures that roam,
so beautiful, magnificent, and free.
Just like us they have open hearts,
and a special language that they speak.

The forests here are so alive,
plentiful are the fruits that they bare.
Nothing but peace and harmony dwells within,
and tranquility floats in and around the air.

There is no sun or moon,
the temperature is always just right.
You can sleep all day and never have to worry,
about having to leave here at night.

Patience is a way of life here,
no one rushes to get to where they want to be.
People hold their heads up high and smile,
they're always proud to have you in their company.

You can find all of the solitude that you seek,
love and peace are so ominous here.
Every one respects and supports one another,
and their trust and loyalty will never disappear.

In tiny little caves live the most beautiful elves,
many with families of their very own.
Each one is unique with his or her own colors,
always seeking friends, never wanting to be alone.

The elves come out and frolic in the forests,
while unicorns roam and graze in the grassy fields.
With their powerful and majestic wings,
they bring a feeling of strength and security.

Fairies fly free throughout,
their fluttering wings sparkling bright.
Lighting up this magical universe,
like thousands of lanterns dancing in the night.

Stars decorate the clear night sky,
blazing afar, wanting to be seen.
They bring hope and encouragement to one and all,
creating a wonderful and tranquil scene.

The unicorns are so delicate yet strong,
their awesome presence will captivate you instantly.
Enchanting the hearts of all who come across them,
nothing can ever stand up to their uniqueness and beauty.

This is a place that I turn to,
whenever I am down and blue.
A wonderful and exciting trip,
that I would recommend for everyone, even you.

Friends, please take my hand and join me,
let us fly away into the sky.
Where miracles happen every day,
so that you don't have to wish or cry.

You will love this enchanted place,
my special and wonderful escape from time.
It helps me to forget about my problems and sorrows,
Even though it only exists in the back of my mind.

 

 

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





Author notes

I hope that you all enjoy this one. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this write of mine. I appreciate it deeply!


Option #5

A contest entry

Friends, I appreciate your comments and review on this write. However, please do not add my name to your comments due to the contest rules. Thank you very much!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • Lislaine
    August 11, 2008
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    Wow i really enjoyed this one!!


  • angel-lover
    November 19, 2007

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    wow this is by far the best poem I have read on allpoetry in the 2 years I have been on this site.
    I stand and applaud you I must go view more of your work amazing


  • PureRomance
    November 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very beautiful poem. You did a marvelous job with this. God bless you in all that you do and write and good luck to you and your poem in this contest. Keep up the excellent work. You are really awesome at writing. I just wished I was! Lol! I'm still learning.


  • georgie
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely beautiful. i wrote a similar one once for my ex's birthday. wouldnt you love it if you could just step right into your dreams?
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx


  • Think2wice
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You

    This is absolutely enchanting - and with everything right now this almost had me in tears. What I would give to really go to that place - what a wonderful thing to think and dream of. That a life like this could really be possible.

    "so that you don't have to wish or cry"

    I believe that you hit these right on - my two closest things to me and the story of the life I live.

    Thank you for writing this - I'm not sure I could have chosen a better secret place myself.


  • Angel Of Heaven99
    November 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I will happily take your hand and fly to this magical and beautiful place my friend This is the most beautiful write and it took me in and now, hopefully....I will go to this lovely place in my dreams tonight, as I can't get your beautiful words out of my head. Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you!


  • Hashnah Sheviatte
    November 4, 2007

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    Great! nice poem.. Very dramatic lond and simple but very touching. You made me imagine the way you used to be,,..


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    November 3, 2007
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    excellent write great picture and congrats on all the trophies good luck in this contest as well


  • katie-jo
    November 3, 2007

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    Nice write. The rhyme scheme was good, but inconsistent. In the second stanza, "free" and "speak" don't rhyme, but are in the positions of words that rhymed in the rest of your poem. In the seventh stanza about the elves, the rhyme feels forced "familes of their own...always seeking friends, never wanting to be alone".

    Good write, although on two of the rules (well one wasn't technically a rule, but part of the prompt) you didn't follow through. You were supposed to put your option number in your notes (even if it is painfully evident what option it is) and I wanted pieces that could potentially be real. But oh well. I won't dq it just yet, if I get more like this then I won't.

    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
    ~katiebird


  • Aurielle
    October 2, 2007

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    This was really goood!!!!! Though the rhyming pattern change at the last stanza. I'm not sure if"mind" and "time" work. Maybe but I found this good. This was nice


  • xXGoddessofPainXx
    July 5, 2007

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    Hey this is a gr8 piece.. Thank you for entering thought thereis one slight problem which option have you chosen heaven or island?? Wel plz let me no as when u do i can put u in the finalists


  • PrincessOfLostHope
    June 26, 2007
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    Great job. Thanks for entering my conest I really like this poem. Good luck.


  • samantha jean
    June 15, 2007
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    Wow, very descriptive! I really liked the last stanza. Very good write, good luck in my contest.


  • -PumpkinSeeds-
    May 19, 2007

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    Fly away

    Aww you've found every good detail of a fairytale in your secret place.

    Favourite line has to be "like thousands of lanterns dancing in the night." Beautiful.

    Great write.

    Peace x


  • Glass Heart
    May 13, 2007
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    Sorry, but you did not write the option in the author's comments. I have to disqualify you.


  • Patched Up Ragdoll
    April 18, 2007
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    Wow. This write was very descriptive...I loved reading it. I loved the part about the elves, and the faeries. It really was uplifting to read, sort of a "putting the mind at ease" type of thing. Thank you sooo much for entering this poem into my contest, and good luck!!


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    April 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    awww! that was soooooooooooooo good! I really enjoyed reading this piece!!! I am sure everyone has there own place to go when they want to be alone! I also really liked the font you used it made the piece seem even better! keep up the excellent writes and the best of luck in my contest!!!



    -Steve-


  • Andi.
    March 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, this is pretty much what i was looking for!
    thank you so very much for entering! and good luck


  • Andi.
    March 15, 2007

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    FANTASTIC!

    this was exactly what i was looking for!
    you captured the enchantment, and the fantasy and I was drawn into it from the first line!

    well done

    luv coop


  • wings of an angel
    March 3, 2007

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    Jeremy, This is a lovely poem you penned here my friend. Can I go to that magical place with you . I need a peaceful place right about now. I love the picture you have chosen for this poem. Your rhythm and rhyme flowed beatifully throughout the entire poem. Well done dear poet and good luck in my contest

  • in-the-twilight
    February 7, 2007

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    This is definately beautiful! What a wonderful place to visit! Thanks for entering my contest! Rock on! xoxo meg


  • poeticallywrong
    February 2, 2007
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    breaking news!!!! breaking news!!!! u took me on an journey with no destination...purely enjoyed...now like you i have this place locked in the back of my mind...good writing and imaginary word usuage...keep writing...your a talent


  • Whoochi gold member
    February 2, 2007

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    This is enchanting, mystical and the things that dreams are made of..I love the part about elves and fairies...could actually envision them frolicking..love that word...makes one feel like jumping and laughing...I almost feel as if I am there..smiling, having fun...thanks for my moment of escape into this magical, inviting place! Great job!


  • Nature Song silver member
    February 2, 2007

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    Would be wonderful to escape the daily rutes in our lives. But we also have to have reality, even it it slaps us in the face hard at times. Thanks for sharing this write. I too love unicorns, have writen many poems about them myself. It is nice to dream and escape if only for a moment sometimes! ~Sie


  • February 2, 2007
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    NIce one

    That was a really nice and free flowing piece of work... does a good job in transporting one into the Utopia world where there is no more weeping and crying. I would call it an adult lullaby.
    Once more , good work


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    February 2, 2007
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    Oh Jeremy! This is so special, magical, and beautiful. I love unicorns and enchanted lands. This has it all. A wonderfully written and imaginative poem. Awesome job. Thanks for sharing.

    Jeannie


    • Jeremy0826 silver member
      February 2, 2007
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      Thank you very much Jeannie! I am glad to hear that you enjoyed this one.



  • Angel With No Halo
    February 2, 2007

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    This was truly beautiful. Serene and enlightening my friend. Great work. I could almost imagine myself there right now You have great talent. Never lose that!!

    • Jeremy0826 silver member
      February 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much Krystal, I am glad that you enjoyed this!

      Jeremy0826


  • Mr Fluent 4 Fun
    February 2, 2007
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    Very good

    A bit of escapism was experienced whilst reading your lovely poem. Nice to have a break. LoL.

1 - 31 of 31