broken merry-go-round
tilts and creaks in the breeze
another frost, cold winter drizzle
brings mud down to my knees
i used to be happy once;
giving kids a smile circling the ground
feels like your flying, skittering to the edge
laughing 'til crying swings the merry-go-round
red, blue, and yellow swirls
primary colors chipped and faded
too old for the merry-go-round now
no need for a horseless carousel jaded
groaning under the weight of the wind
bumpy floor rusted without grease of play
un-held handles kept them from falling off,
no more do i whirl through the sunlight of day
A contest entry
- Surge by Annalise.
315 points, ended February 2, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Very well written, some great lines, reads really well, not so sure about the title, but then it works well enough.
Great use of language, unusual but well written.
-
-
Queynte
This one sprung from an unusual place where it seems to have made sense only to me which is not the mark of a good piece, however, i'm quite attached to it. merry and mary are the play on words from title to can't think of the word for an inanimate object given feelings. in a way it's a convoluted comparison of how a woman feels as she ages, once merry and twirling gayly and now rusty and bumpy and unheld.
Derrr.... if you have to explain it, there's a problem with the writing in my opinion. anyway, thanks for dusting this sweet one off and giving it a read.
-
-
You just get better
i loved this, especially the line "bumpy floor rusted..., love your stuff
Michael -
-
Micheal
Thanks for giving this a read. And thanks again for my beautiful disaster.
You know, it would be kinda fun to live life as a merry-go-round, loving the summer sun and kids dripping ice cream with their sticky hands holding on for dear life and the big kids pushing and then jumping on and the daredevils jumpting and rolling off... fun thought for a dark night. Thanks.
-
-
Nope. I've actually never known a Mary. Odd, since it is such a common name.
Very nice piece you have here.
-
-
Yes, that is odd; bordering on bizarre.
Get out there! Find a mary to be merry with!
some of them are a lot of fun.
hope your contest is a feast to your senses.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
