Dark skies loom still as I look into the heaven,
on my morning commute at twenty-five till seven.
Headlights beam to unveil the season's splendor,
in my solitude I embrace it with complete surrender.
Upon peaceful reflections of this beauty I ponder,
as the crisp frozen darkness leaves me in wonder.
Fierce lights illuminate a silky blanket glimmering,
illusions of a million stars sparkling and shimmering.
God's majestical hand brings this gift softly sifting,
drops of eyelet and lace in the air gently drifting.
circling and spinning as with each other they dance,
swirling and twirling merged in a teasing romance.
Bare trees stand proudly branches erect and tall,
reaching out for hydration as though a mating call.
Absorbing the moisture while intertwined with snow,
silvery icicles forming as gusty winds start to blow.
Through an icy world appear great prisms of light,
even the sun can't melt through winter's furious bite.
Snow continues to fall shuffling in crystallized jewels,
an arctic wind roars as this winter romance it rules.
Encrusting a winter creation with a delectable glazed ice,
encompassed, a marshmallow filling that could easily entice.
Snow sculptures silhouetted against brilliant blue skies,
even swooning angels are left bewitched and mesmerized.
Mystified, looking through silvery flashes at the sun,
in quiet wonder thinking back to those days of youth and fun.
even then I was captivated by these winter wonderlands,
enjoying the mystery of this season was instilled by God's hands.
Author notes
My Name is Talking Toni...I entered this because Winter is both sad and beautiful...It leaves you with a feeling of solitude, at the same time... you are mesmerized by its wondrous beauty...also my poem is actually 28 lines, don't know why it is listed as 35....
A contest entry
- Excellent Options!!! Prewrites Allowed! by tigress3737.
600 points, ended August 20, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas - (Options) by Florida Sunshine.
525 points, ended December 16, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A ...=...Anything by TheAshtrayGirl.
550 points, ended March 13, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lotsa points!!!! (extended time! I want as many entries as possible!) by DogTagz-TheJalapeno.
800 points, ended August 9, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes and Fresh Writes Contest by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended November 15, 2008, 66 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hope(ful) Snowy Nights by SilentMoonlight.
1500 points, ended December 11, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 59 of 59
-
This was beautifully written a deep look into what some people take for granted.
Thanks for entering! -
This is very beautifully written. I enjoyed the way you explained a winter day. I could picture it all. Thank you for entering my contest
-
Very well written and an enjoyable read. I love the picture it gave so much to the poem. The writings itself was well done. Good luck in the contest!
-
Absolutely Wonderful
A perfect, excellent write. You so deserved gold on this one. Oh the imagery was breath taking and the rhyme and rhythm is so perfect with the flo of the poem. This should be published my dear friend. I had so much fun being in the snow with you here in your poem. Winter Wonderland is the perfect title to your poem you have written here. I absolutely loved it.
God's majestical hand brings this gift softly sifting,
drops of eyelet and lace in the air gently drifting,
circling and spinning as with each other they dance,
swirling and twirling merged in a teasing romance.
Favorite stanza!!!! Excellent, beautiful poem my sweet sister
Many Blessings
Kelle Marie
stavykm
-
Allright, so nothing I say can possibly further assure you of the talent that you possess as made evident by this poem. I didn't really have a favourite line because the entire poem drew me in. Having to do somewhat of a commute myself, I was truly able to picture exactly what you were speaking of. It felt as though you were able to put words to something that I was only able to wonder about. Well done!
-
this poem is just so lovely. The detail grabs the readers attention at the beggining and has them hooked right up until the end. The rhyme is great too. Absolutly masterful.
-
wow, this is so beautifully written. So eloquent, so peacefull, so imaginative
overall great write. Your words brought the poem to life and made me want to read it over and over. I always love poems of nature. Thanks for sharing
-
congrats on your award good rhyme scheme ah winter was such days of youthand fun when we all were younger very good write headlights always glisten in dark even in winter snows thanks for sharing regards zaj
-
very nice, original use of metaphors in this poem, really beautiful. i thought "God's majestical hand brings this girl softly sifting, drops of eyelet and lace in the air gently drifting" is just gorgeous and so unique, a real jewel of a line. good job
-
A beautifully written poem. I like the attention to the time in the beginning, it sort of sets the pace for the whole "feel" of this.
-
This flowed like a dream
I love it when I read someone i have not read before. I like your talent and will be reading more
In rhyme you excell and your words are wise
when a poem flows well it brings tears to my eyes.
Jan
-
A good one... :)
I can see why this won trophies in other contests. You've got a wealth of good words in here.
I personally do not take quickly after traditional end rhyme, but I must commend your consistency and effort. The only problem is that it comes across as almost forced, not quite but close in a few places.
Instead of trying to write your poem at the drop of a hat, try doing a bit of freewriting about whatever topic you like. After you've done that for a while, look over what you've written and search for core ideas and interesting metaphors.
This might help your rhyme scheme and diction stay fresh.
Blessings,
C
(slant rhyme might be something interesting for you. Just a suggestion). -
Congrats on the gold and bronze trophies. This was amazing. I loved the rhyming. And you added a lot of detail that was so vivid and dazzling! Really brought this to live. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
Many thanks for your entry in our 'Nature' contest. We had a mammoth task choosing the winners, we're sorry you were not chosen this time.
Please join us in the remaining contests in our Rhyming Extravaganza.
Sue and Jeff, your contest hosts.
-
this is rather a pleasant surprise... your rhyme scheme works very well within this piece and I like this seemingly intrinsic mixture of the somewhat mundane and ordinary, everyday with the whimsical and magical!
beautifully written!
-
This is VERY well written~ the imagery is awesome~ I really enjoyed your entry~ Thanks for entering ~
good luck to you!!! nice job! -
Great write. Beautiful imagery. Spring and summer are my favorite seasons not winter. Winter is beautiful but the cold I don't like.
-
Ooh, very descriptive and I just melted into it. I'm not sure how this is the 'practical side' of nature, but I loved this piece anyway.
=)
-
A beautiful winter wonderland! This poem is lovely and the images are supremely fine...
If you go to Shadow Poetry and look at examples of these two forms for this contest, you will find the rhyming and repeating lines that you need...
But I love your poem, nevertheless!
-
You have truly portrayed the winter wonderland! I dont really look forward to winter-but you made me remember how beautiful it can be. Thank you for entering this great piece in my contest!
-
Entrancing poem
I love nature and this poem is perfect. Your descriptions of the winter wonderland made me feel as though I was there with you. Lovely poem. Julie.
-
OMG!!
ITS WONDERFUL THE IMAGERY IS GREAT DESCRIBING EVERYTHING IN PERFECT DETAIL I LOOK FORWARD TO READING MORE OF YOU POEMS -
great write
this is a splendid write that captured the beauty of a snow lite winters morn. Also I loved the graphics. A true pleasure to read. Perfect flow
-
What a great picture, and a great poem to go with it. Liked the rhtyhm and rhyme, the flow and the wonderful wintery images these words create. There's snow south of here today, but don't like that in spring time. LOL He created all of this beauty and it is good to give Him thanks.
-
Most impressive, I love it
I like how it ends too. It was awsome!!!!
-
Excellent!
That's right...came back for a second read
You know, this really reminds me of a couple of pictures I took during out snow/ice storm here in Cincy. It caused such immense damage throughout the city, yet, it was incredibly beautiful, so much so, I had to take photo's so I wouldn't forget. Again....Wonderful job on this ~Tia
-
Fantastic Imagery!
The poetic imagery was so graphically portrayed, I could imagine being there myself! Where I live, it doesn't snow, but I enjoyed "being there" through your lovely poem.
-
this is absolutely beautiful. one of my fondest memories took place when there was lots of snow and you took me back to that place thank you. viyanna rosemarie
-
I thought this was absolutely stunning in all its imagery. You did an excellent job of recreating the wintry scene in your picture. And I love how, in the end, you give all the credit to God for the beauty of the season. Wonderful, wonderful work!
-
BRILLIANT PEN!!!!!
WOW!!!That was one visually enhanced piece of art you spread out here. It teases ones imagination. Anyone who enjoys the winters, will surely be lost in the vividness of this write. I love nature, and was drawn into your dream of remembering very easily. TY very much for sharing this with me. You have a gifted pen.
Blessings and love
Angel Feathers
-
Delightful, enchanting
Very sweet and caring description of winter, and its nice if you do not have to be out in it, 24 hours and can warm up, thaw out. Memories flooded over me, as I thought of the cold long days and night, dry food, cold guns, everything cold as ice, hands frozen, desparate, longing for warm fire, hot tub of water, to soak. Thanks my friend. Jules.
-
Nice photo.
-
Excellent
What a breathtaking image you implanted along my journey in this write. I believe you have penned a beautiful piece and left me with imagery that has captured my spirit. Lovely ~Tia
-
Magical!!
This was magnificent!!
You've created an atmosphere of
enchantment and delight. The images
are crystal clear. They jump out at you
and give you a cheerful feeling of God's
beauty being cast over the earth in the
form of this mystical,"Winter Wonderland!"
Bravo! Well done my exceptionally talented poet.
A great masterpiece!
-
WOW!!!!!!
INCREDIBLE!!!! you just took your writing to a whole new level, thought you couldn't get any better, but wow, impressive flow and vocabulary, rhymes suberp of course, but absolutely fantastic write, brillant just brillant!!!! this is definitly one of my faviorites! -
on my morning commute at twenty-five till seven.
/great line by the way/
Jacen
-
breathtaking
The snow, when it falls, is like pristine canvas...untouched and ready to be drawn upon...the beauty of winter, is not what all thinks it is...dead...there's a stillness and calm to it...a beauty that has a purpose, and when you appreciate it...its a way of also getting water in a form that will slowly melt...its like having a rain everyday...He provided well, when this earth was created...shame that humanity has that Midas touch...I love snow...has written so many over the years about it...it brings out the little kid in me and the excitement...awesome write...smile...hugs and love...David
-
Wow! What a contrast to your spring piece. My favorite line, I think, would have to be "Snow sculptures silhouetted against brillant blue skies, even swooning angels are left bewitched and mesmerized." Great job. I really appreciate snow poetry and images because we don't get it down here. It might snow for a moment, but it never lays.
-
wonderful.
This is quite a beautiful poem.Very inspiraing and quite thoughtive.
-
Beautiful
The snowflakes are falling falling falling and you describe beauty of winter with such grace of words to entice the reader to glide along. It is the ending that says it all - it is in God's hands.
-
great write
Hello Toni - another "from the heart" creation by Talkig Toni - I like the rhyme and flow - could almost dance to it - I like winter too - where we are we have winters where it doesn't even snow - and when it does, its gone in a few days - but this winter we have had 2 storms - with blowing snow and cold. keep on writing Toni - you are good at it - Bless God - ----- Joe
-
very heart felt write
-
Brilliant Imagery!
As a person who really does not like winter (can't handle cold weather), I've got to say that this was a very beutiful piece.
While I am not a huge fan of rhyming poetry, you did this very well, keeping the rhymes from sounding like they were forced while maintaining the flow of the poem. This is truly an example of what a good rhyming piece should be. -
Awesome!!
This is such a great poem. Full of imagery and flow. Your use of words are excellent and I could picture everything very clearly. You are a very talented writer and I'm so glad I read this wonderful piece. Many Blessings to you, FAH
-
Wonderful!!!
This was just a wonderful poem to read!! Makes you remember to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak. Thankyou for sharing such a beautiful piece! -
wow, i really like the 4 stanza, and youv made me want go some were with snow now, thanks for writting this
-
Hello TT,
I'm going to go out on a limb here because the popular opinion on this poem seems quite different but I think the descriptions are good but there are just too many of them. The poem is overwritten but then I'm a bit of a minimalist...
just a thought,
df
-
Absolutely Beautiful!
I really like this! OMG I can't explain, but you got it
Keep up the good work.
Ephiphany
-
aw i loved this poem! i hate winter, personally, cuz well there's no snow down here, so it's dull and cold and grey and not so pretty and wonderlandish. but this poem made me really feel the beauty of winter. this had really good rhyme and meter, which is hard as crap, especially for a poem this long and about something other than normal angsty heartache etc. my favorite stanza is the last one,
"Mystified, looking through silvery flashes at the sun,
in quiet wonder thinking back to those days of youth and fun.
even then I was captivated by these winter wonderlands"
very lovely. that spoke to me the most.
Great job! ~♥Faery
-
Even without the picture, your words are concise as well as the even flow of the rhyming. The only suggestion/complaint I have is that you might want to switch out the lavendar background to another color because Ive had to highlight the black font to read it a bit more--you see, my computet screen is a flat monitor therefore makes reading somewhat 'awkward'. Keep penning
-
very well written
you have a wonderful talent for descibing gods magical painting with awesome detail pic fit perfectly -
Spellbinding! *star*
Wow! What a great piece of literature. I was mezmerized by your imagery. Taken in by the flow of words and felt a chill as they hit home. Great job. Really!
-
Hypnotic
It happens to be abour 14 degrees here, and snow is on the ground. You have captured the elation of sensory delight with your airy words. Lines #13 and #14 are especially descriptive. Even the desolate bare trees are beautiful sculptures under ice and snow. I don't care for the cold like I used to, but I really enjoy sipping hot coffee and watching through the window at the scenery I used to love to play in. Thank you for bringing those days back to life.
-
Ah, winter weather and icy delights! My youth, too, is filled with such wonderful memories, but today I see only the "cold". Thank you so much for letting me remember what it was like to love hard freezes and horse-high snow banks. Never thought I would want to be a kid again, until now. You write it well, dear poet. Thank you.
-
amazing
awsome...I am spechless.
What a beutiful way to descibe the snow and or winter.
Amazing write!
-
This is so enchantingly stunning, 'drops of eyelet and lace' wow the visual you give to Winter is amazing and I loved it all.
-
WOW SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!
Oh my, You have penned a portrait of a winter wonderland with your amazing imagery. Excellent write. A pleasure to read your wonderful poem. You take care Sandy
-
Magnificent, excellent, fantastic, wonderful and all the other great words I can use. Thanks for sharing, Luv Melody
-
good stuff
aptly descriptive of the winter snow
takes me back to my youth growing up
in kansas city mo
the winters then had a peaceful feel
thanks for taking me there
i like this poem a lot
keep writing
-
This was a great poem, I really enjoyed reading it. You made such a nice image in my head, maybe the winter isn't all that bad. You did a great job with this one.
Love to read more from you
With love
Lopo
Adding your comment:
1 - 59 of 59
