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~ You Were My Meadowlark ~ (Jram)

Missing image

~ You Were My Meadowlark ~

 

 

Upon your bragging post in pastures song
sensuous flutey notes the whole day long
I hear echoes of sweet past melodies ~
angelic notes amongst the galaxies

 

 

Angelic notes amongst the galaxies
a young meadowlark singing harmonies
Gentle threads of light from a soul of gold
filters through grasslands a tale to unfold

 

 

I hear echoes of sweet past melodies ~
suddenly there are flowers and berries
Prisms of light arise from the meadows
embraced in a cloak of greens and yellows

 

 

Sensuous flutey notes the whole day long
enchanting little bird with charm so strong
Nature has a way with all living things
the meadowlark is love on fluttered wings

 

 

Upon your bragging post in pastures song
young man pure of heart now in angels throng
God required a meadowlark by his side
He called you to heaven and you complied

 

 

Dedicated to my young brother ~ not a day goes by without tears

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

A treasured feeling for my brother, it washes over me every time I think of him, much like opening a treasure box of memories...he died in the summer of 2005 age 21yrs...A BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT...he could play guitar, piano/keyboard, accordian, and had a wonderful melodious singing voice

Jram ...A poetry form I have created in memory of my brother...his initials make up the name of the form...by LilacThOughts


Jram...

5 stanzas
10 syllables to each line
Rhyme scheme aabb in every stanza
The last line of 1st stanza becomes 1st line of second stanza
3rd line of 1st stanza becomes 1st line of 3rd stanza
2nd line of 1st stanza becomes 1st line of 4th stanza
1st line of 1st stanza become 1st line of 5th stanza

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 53 of 53

  • Lauren Noir
    November 10, 2008

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    This is one of my favourtie poems, probably that ever has been. Seriously. I adore it.

    Over and over again


  • Oh Happy Day
    September 22, 2007

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    Lovely, delicate form to express your tender feelings of rememberance and loss. Sorry to hear of your brothers passing, sounded like a terrific guy. nice tribute.

    Happy


  • Electric Sunrise gold member
    June 14, 2007
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    Captivating title and beautifully penned, best of luck in the contest and thanks for your entry,


  • Frogzter gold member
    May 5, 2007

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    Lilac, this is such a warm and loving piece! Thanks for sharing it and best wishes!

    Best wishes to you and God Bless

    Frogz~


  • Mirthryl
    May 3, 2007

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    I enjoyed it

    The meadowlark comparison is beautiful. I especially enjoyed the second stanza. You have created a lovely poetry form, kudos. It is plain you remember your brother with much love. I am used to looking for meters, so it was a little awkward for me until I re-read your Jram and tried reading it aloud with more attention to the syllables. Nice work.

    Next to last line, 11 syllables; maybe God 'wanted' or some other 2-syllable word? I'm new to this site...never did editing on anyone else's work, don't mean to overstep any courtesies. Enjoyed your piece.


  • Frozentearz
    April 25, 2007

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    Memories can be another one of our greatest treasures of all, A very loving poem, full of gentle thoughts,
    and expressions of your feelings,
    Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem
    Warm thoughts
    Frozentearz


  • Lady-Pegasus
    March 26, 2007

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    I like reading new forms, most especially ones newly created by poets I know, and even more so by wonderful ones like you! I finally made my own first attempt at making a new form, but thats digression! this is a very tender dedication for an obviously well-loved brother. . It seems we have more in commmon than I had realized, but later on that too. Again, my poor old eyes struggled with this font size, but hey, jes me I guess! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e *

    YOU HAVE JUST BEEN HOODWINKED ; Courtesy of the Poetic Bandits


  • getsbetter
    March 26, 2007
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    Always such beautiful writes flow from your pen lil lady. You are very dear to me.
    BTW, you've been hoodwinked again...Love GETS


  • ronnica
    March 25, 2007

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    The form works so well it is clearly visual. but the words and flow are beautiful, especially,
    " the meadowlark is love on fluttered wings.


  • earthstar
    March 21, 2007

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    Sensuous flutey notes the whole day long
    enchanting little bird with charm so strong
    Nature has a way with all living things
    the meadowlark is love on fluttered wings

    I am sorry for your pain. You describe a meadowlark so beautiful and to compare the way. You have down it an excellent work. They are our state birds. When you go to the sand hills it such a joy to hear them. Sometimes joy must turn to saddess. Very well done. I could also hear sorrow and grief from your words.


    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      March 21, 2007
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      Thank you...

      Thank you earthstar for this kind and generous comment, you are so lucky to have meadow larks around you...my brother reminds me so much of the beautiful Meadowlark, he could sing so beautifully, play piano and guitar...he was murdered by two strangers, on his way home after a night out with friends, just three weeks after his twenty first birthday in July 2005. He was a student at University, my parents recieved his degree at the graduation ceremomy a few weeks later, with all the other students in their caps and gowns...he should now be enjoying life after the hard work he put into all that studying...

      so sorry if I am rambling on but your comment has opened this up in me

      Thank you
      ~Lilac


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    February 10, 2007
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    3 applauds...9pts

    Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list

    ~Lilac


  • Tam
    February 10, 2007

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    I feel so very, very blessed....

    to read this lovely and touching write...again...as this is my FAVORITE write I've witnessed from you Beautiful Spirit...
    I find the love and admiration this is penned with so inspiring...and the sadness of missing someone so loved and wonderful is heartwrenching...
    You have a gift of penning true sincere emotion within flawless verse and you make it look effortless!
    I know in my heart that your dear brother remains with you today...and always will...
    May warm memories of happy times bring your spirit joy...
    I wish you peace!
    Blessings! Tammy

  • Frogzter gold member
    February 10, 2007

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    Love this form! This is a sheer delight to read... had to read it three times! Wonderful sums it up! HOpe all is well! Blessings and best wishes,
    Frogz~


  • tawk gold member
    February 9, 2007

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    Wow I love your new form that you have created. You have painted such a wonderful picture for all to see. Just excellent

  • Tercarro
    February 9, 2007
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    I love the whole site and your presence is permanent


    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      February 9, 2007
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      Thank you so much...

      Thank you for your friendly visit, much appreciated

      ~Lilac

  • getsbetter
    February 9, 2007

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    I have read this a few times and it just gets better everytime I read it. You did a beautiful job on this sweetheart. And YOUR form is perfect!...GETS


  • -Ink Artist-
    February 9, 2007

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    Well dear Lilac, you already know that I've read this piece and adored it, but am more than happy to read and comment again (though the system will not allow me applaud more)

    This invented form is gorgeous and I loved this piece in memory of your brother. I have no doubt it made him smile upon you.


    ~Lori


  • blondone
    February 9, 2007

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    Wow a bautiful form here your words flow with such an ease a wonderful imagery so gentle, a lovely poem you've penned for your brother, strong memories this keeps him alive in your heart, very emotional write


  • Sharcu silver member
    February 8, 2007

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    I go away for a couple months and it seems I've missed a lot. You've improved a lot and I see you've come up with yet another new form. I love this one! Seems complex and not very easily written. But you combined both a wonderful choice of words, rhyming, and the complexity of this form all into one. Well done! Thanks for sharing and I look forward to reading more of your poetry from now on
    --Tim

    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      February 8, 2007
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      Thank you...

      Hi bro, thanks for commenting, this is really quite easy to write, not a lot to it, a syllable count of 10 on each line, with rhyme pattern aabb and four lines of the first repeated as the first line of following ones, that's it, easy

      glad you liked it though

      Lilac


  • Dylan Bosacki
    February 8, 2007

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    I find the form a bit repetious. But that was no big deal in the context of things.
    This may sound odd but my favorite thing about this poem was the fact that you know (i am assuming) how to use rhyme effectively. Let me put it another way, alot of people, when they write say a sonnet, do not follow any rules, contemporary or otherwise and and it makes for a very sloppy sonnet. Here you knew what you were doing. It flowed nicely, and the emotion was never thrown off.
    Despite the repetition, this is a very beautiful poem, and if I knew you better, I'd grieve with you.


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    February 8, 2007
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    Wonderful form and flow with such emotion and imagry. This is just beautiful, I loved it. Bunny


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 6, 2007

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    Think my comment keeps getting missed so will say BRAVO and try it again. Loved the picture and presentation on this page, poem of course is the highlight.

  • Thedragonisgone
    February 6, 2007
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    a lovely and sensitive tribute to a dearly departed soul.
    wishing you peace,
    K


  • ShelleyA gold member
    February 6, 2007

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    Hi sis. This is a beautiful write and a lovely new form you've created. I've commented on it before, but I enjoyed reading it again.

  • -Ink Artist-
    February 5, 2007
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    This is gorgeous! What a truly beautiful dedication to your brother, Lilac. You've brought these lines from deep within your heart and laid them upon the page in an elegant and emotional presentation. Fabulous form you've created here, my friend! It has a very smooth and effortless flow. I just might give this a go!


    ~Lori

    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      February 5, 2007
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      -Ink Artist-

      Hi Lori, thank you for visiting this page, if you ever do give this form a try, please send me the link

      Much love ~Lilac

  • June-bug
    February 4, 2007

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    excellent

    You have done an awesome job with this newly created form. I read this twice the first time without the background music, it was captivating as your thougths flowed. The second time I listened to the background music as I read, it brought tears to my eyes each time but the music really intensified the magic of the spirit of your brother relayed in the words. God bless and thanks for the opportunity of reading such a wonderful piece of your heart.

    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      February 5, 2007
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      June-bug

      Thank you June-bug, I'm so glad you liked this form, it will always be so special to me from now on...the music was hard to find from the choices we have but 'Little Star' just spoke to me through the thoughts I was experiencing as I wrote this for my brother

  • Lauren Noir
    February 4, 2007
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    Another amazing form invented by an amazing poet
    Another poem that brought tears to my eyes as I read it
    Teen angst is one thing but the true heartache you express is another
    A love like no other
    And a loss like no other

    May God bless his soul
    And also bring my very deservant mother all the happiness she deserves
    Another poetic triumph
    And a succesful form you created

    Thank you for sharing

    Much love
    ~Lauren


    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      February 4, 2007
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      Fallen forever...

      Thank you my sweet Princess, for your lovely comments

      ~Mum


  • I-Am-Custard
    February 4, 2007

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    I like this, the form you used was very effective, it gave a kind of... predictability, but not one that bored me, more left me comofrted that I knew where it was going with certain lines. The sentiment of this is lovely, a nice write!


  • undertones
    February 4, 2007

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    INtertesting form! i liked it! I might try it out sometime just to see whether I can actually do it successfully. really pretty poem- i liked the imagery and the entire thing overall, really. great poem

  • Tam
    February 4, 2007
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    Oh my...where do I begin?

    The form you have created is stunning! Simply stunning...you amaze me Lady!
    You have more talent in your little finger than most do within their entire body!
    This is such a touching poem for your brother! God rest his beautiful soul!
    Your words are drenched with missing and loving him...
    May your heart find peace in his memory and your pen find joy in penning such a loving tribute to this wonderful man you obviously love very, very much...
    and he you, I have no doubt.
    YOU IMPRESS ME LIKE NO OTHER AT AP BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT!
    I wish you happy, health and peace!
    Blessings! Tammy

    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      February 4, 2007
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      Tam...

      Thank you Tammy, he died far two young, and it breaks my heart that he is no longer here...the words just flow from me when I think of him...I'm glad you enjoyed the form and reading it too, you are so kind

      ~Lilac


  • mysticstorm gold member
    February 4, 2007

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    A very nice form you have created. It reads and flows well. Your write is a lovley tribute to a brother passed on. I understand the pain and tears, they always stay with you. I can tell you from my experience, never let them go...yet work on remembering the good times. They are always with you and in the good memories you will find peace. When I am down I look at something that reminds me of my grandfather and it brings a smile to my face, with a memory. It has helped.
    This is so beautiful in your word choice and meaning. You have a wonderful way with words.
    Thank you for sharing!


  • Warrior of Peace
    February 4, 2007
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    a good poem

    So sweet and cute

  • grannyeri gold member
    February 3, 2007

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    Interesting form you have created with this write, a lovely tribute to a brother lost - heartfelt and sincere. Easy to read and understand how you felt about him and how you miss him too.

  • Frogzter gold member
    February 3, 2007
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    A most interesting form you have created here and I lovely tribute to your brother. Beautiful imagery and an emotional piece that really penetrates the heart! Thanks for sharing a lovely talent! Blessings and best wishes,
    Frogz~


  • sheltered
    February 3, 2007
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    This is so beautiful. Love it.

  • ShelleyA gold member
    February 3, 2007
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    A lovely new form and presentation. Beautiful imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Lovely expession of emotion. Very nice rhythm. Nice alliteration. Vivid descriptives. Splendidly written verse. Well crafted and a most enjoyable read.


  • broad-and-fair
    February 3, 2007

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    a very wonderful tribute to your brother Lilac, it appears to say a lot about him and one gets the sensation that he was full of life with lots left still to do but like many good men was called too early. To have developed a new form to his memory is a very fitting and appropriate gift from a poetess of your calibre and hopefully something that will spread to be a perpetual reminder to the world that Jram was and is, here. I have copied the rules of the form and will write a poem in this style along with posting the rules for others to see, Broad


  • Lady Altheia
    February 3, 2007

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    This is a well written heart felt poem. It is always fun creating new forms of poetry. I enjoying doing that.

  • getsbetter
    February 2, 2007

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    I think this is a beautiful poem and form you have written sweetness, you can see your heart show through every line. God bless lil lady...GETS


  • trista gold member
    February 2, 2007

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    This is so beautiful, in the form, the way it flows, and especially in thought and imagery. Unlike many of the repeated line forms of poetry, this doesn't become overpowering and yet puts special emphasis on those lines of the first stanza. Truly, this is a loving and lovely tribute to your brother, one I'm sure he would be proud of.

    All the best,
    ~J.


  • Arkbear gold member
    February 2, 2007

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    Beautiful ~

     

     

     

     

     

    This is my first poem of the day to review.....I'm glad I did ~

     

     

     

    ~ God required a meadowlark by his side
    He called you to heaven and you complied ~

    Your compassion and love for your brother shines in this write ~

    I don't know the loss of a brother,

    yet your words touched me to feel that loss ~

    You're a wonderful Lady Lilac.....I'm sure your brother delights in looking down and seeing your loving memories of him......some, are not so lucky to have such caring family members ~

    Wonderful form as well ~

    You be good now Sis.....I will chat with you soon my Dear ~

    brother Bear ~


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    February 2, 2007

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    Wow Jram !

    LilacThOughts,

    This is an amazing poem, I like the repetition of certain lines woven into the fabric of this poem. A very creative form to say the least.

    You don't like following other peoples rules do you, you must be very independent...LOL

    I also like the lovely picture and background you've chosen to compliment your poem with.

    Are you promoting this form for other poets to use? I may have to give it a try. One question, does the name of this form "Jram" hold a particular significance?

    Thanks for sharing,

    Dennis :^)



    • -LilacThOughts- gold member
      February 2, 2007
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      Thank you...

      Thank you Dennis for your generous review of this poem...I would feel honoured if you gave this form a try, the name 'Jram' is in dedication to my brother, made up of his initials

      ~Lilac


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    February 2, 2007

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    Oh, right at the begginning you grab me with such a great image that I relate too. "Bragging Post"..indeed. I know this image well. Simply beautiful...aboslutely heart-rending....and a winner in my book. This is a publishable poem..... wow....such a beautiful moment and memory.


  • sunnystar
    February 2, 2007

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    Jram

    Excellent as always you do with words what spielberg does with movies well I know you are having the best talents and that gives you the prvilege to create your own forms and that with the meadowlark I hope it keeps lying around your meadows and keeps inspiring the best out of you
    lately I haven't told you
    But


    you are really



    'MISSED'

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