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The Depths of my Stupidity...




in another's home
why would I be hiding there
I'm chasing my tail

doesn't all add up
I have been out of the cave
I have seen the sun

these daydreams aren't real
just a parade of objects
shadows on the wall

I take a deep breath
try again to expand you
wait for something real


In a list

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • 2lullabyhaven
    March 4, 2007
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    Sensational

    Your last stanza blew me away.


  • Khadidja the Wise
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Waiting for something real"
    That reminded me of some of the poems I write. They may sound good but they don't come from the heart. This one had the feeling as if it came from your heart. Very well written.


  • lingonberries
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nice, and it really fits the structur! It is really good, combinding itself to something strong. It made me think! And it made me corius... I could read it over and over, and the ending felt just right!
    "I take a deep breath
    try again to expand you
    wait for something real"

  • mysticstorm gold member
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well you surely moved from Bach to Plato in this one. A very interesting view on the whole. The question would now be as to why you are in someone elses home to began with, you are way to enlightened for that.


    • Allan Emery gold member
      February 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I was told to look for myself there, and cannot comprehend such cryptic talk. I think someone is to scart to talk directly. Am I that intimidating?

  • Allan Emery gold member
    February 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    <

    Preseverance - is that cutting the chains before they do? I'm all over that!

  • Fire N Ice
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    OKAY

    Al im sorry, i did have a very sensible comment to make here but im afraid i read Amera's comment and its kinda gone LOL
    So, now your writing poems about LSD journeys huh?
    Groovy dude LMAO!!!!


    • Allan Emery gold member
      February 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You tell me what you think. I wait anxiously for that. I know what she thinks. She's as predictable as a certain geyser in Yellowstone.

  • Amera gold member
    February 1, 2007

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    My dad told me about these LSD trips and the mind altering affect that occurred but his explanation wasn’t quite as vivid as this. This seems so vivid that it is almost like a fresh experience. I know that the reported flash backs are a myth. Nice write poet. Amera


    • Allan Emery gold member
      February 2, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Actually, the first stanza is a response to a friend, the second and third are references to Plato's allegory of The Cave from The Republic following up that response, and the fourth stanza is a question posed to that same friend. Think on it. It will come to you.

      • Amera gold member
        February 2, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        LOL, why do you think I answered in the way I did? You still think I'm a bimbo don't you?

        • Allan Emery gold member
          February 2, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          No, but you give me a phony comment and you get one back. Besides, I only wish you were a bimbo.
1 - 13 of 13