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The return of a rotten heart

A drumming heart beat quickens,
over the fluting knowledge gathered.
Disappointed wretchedness troubles me!
Fly my soul, flee this place.
My chest is rotting in the barrel.
What lively loving flesh is tainted,
infected with all you have done.
This is how madmen are born into life!
Hitler must have faced such a maddening.
Sick with rot inside my mind and body,
I know I shall not last long again.
My wicked heart is on the world's dawning.
What walls where built with foolish care,
are now opening to the flood,
of a rotten heart's blood flow.
Love is betrayed in a circle,
as friendship's trust is broken.
Be it know, your choices and thoughts,
have brought the return of a rotten heart.

Author notes

Duck

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Comments

  • unheard 4 2 long
    February 19, 2007

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    excellent, I'll not correct your grammar on this one unless you ask, since I already have on the other two. but really, it's excellent.


    • Flo Varekai
      February 21, 2007
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      hehe, grammer and spelling good. I'd like it if you corrected me. I get to writting and just don't look back at the spelling most of the time. Glad you liked it.


  • Barbara gold member
    February 3, 2007

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    Interesting poem. I can tell that it is full of strong emotions and pain. I'm wondering if the word rechedness should be wretchedness. I don't know...this poem (to me) seemed to be disjointed, sort of like it was just a bunch of lines put together. Each line in itself are great lines, which evoke strong emotions and some rather good imagery. It might be the punctuation that threw me a bit, since some thoughts that look like they would merge with the following line are stopped by the period, and another thought starts. "Love is betrayed in a circle, as friendship's trust is broken." ....that has got to be two of the best lines that I have read today. They seems to sum this poem up completely, and are both rather sad in their meaning, and painful when thought of.


    • Flo Varekai
      February 4, 2007
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      CANADIAN!

      oops! I forgot to check spelling again. Thank you for pointing that out. Thanks for giving me some real advice. I do see the point you made about punctuation. I'll try and have a look at that. Maybe if I reorganize it, the poem might seem alittle better. Glad you enjoyed my poem! Thank you for reading and leaving a comment!