Elysian Fields of gold,
That is where they met.
It would be a day neither would forget.
Surrounded by flowers,
A heavenly scent rose.
This was the beginning of something real.
The only one who ever really understood
The only one who cared
The only one who took some time
To be a friend
She fell in love unrequited
For the heart belonged to another
She couldn’t believe it
She went into a rage
That soul was the one who brought her out the cage
The one who melted
The walls around her heart
The one she loved dearly
And didn’t want to part.
She had trusted with her life.
But in a turn to end it all she took a knife
If I can’t have your love
If you won’t be mine
If we were not meant to be
I will end my life
With two swift stokes
Hard and deep
Through the hands which once were lovingly held
She didn’t speak.
Not a word to the loved
For soon she would be forgotten
Trapped only within
The memories of the past
The memories of that summer,
Her and her beautiful lover
In the Elysian fields.
The river Nile….red down her wrist
Broken and bleeding
And heart in a twist.
This was no way fair
To put all trust in one person
For her was very rare.
That was the day she ended it
Ended it all
Left to mourn was her estranged lover…..
Every summer she would return
To those mystical fields.
Author notes
Lost love...is it better to have loved and lost..or to have never loved at all?
This is option #3 for the contest..Sad,dark,depressing!
A contest entry
- Sad Dark Depressing...... by Ntagatf.
400 points, ended February 23, 2007, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random by Nut Bag.
525 points, ended February 27, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -+LOVE POETRY WITH AWESOME OPTIONS+- by DancingShadowCorpse.
425 points, ended March 5, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me watcha Got!! by agalford7053.
600 points, ended June 1, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is your first impression? Is it confusing?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is really sad. I can only imagine her pain... loving someone and not being able to have them. It makes one wanna cry. Especially when she kills herself in the end. Great job!
The poems rhythm was a little off because at times it seemed like there was forced rhyming.
Ashley -
Incredibly well done, a poem worth reading for sure. It is dark and depressing but beautiful all the same. I loved your choice of words and the structure of the entire poem made me keep going, I felt like I had fallen into your heart and felt what you feel. I know what it is like to lose someone that you trust, love, and would and have given everything to... it is most painful. I look at it this way though, if my efforts were not worth their time, they are not worth mine. Thank you for entering such a beautiful poem!
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She fell in love unrequited
For the heart belonged to another
She couldn’t believe it
She went into a rage
That soul was the one who brought her out the cage
The one who melted
The walls around her heart
The one she loved dearly
And didn’t want to part.
beauty , so much beauty here
in reference to your authors notes, I ask myself these same questions ..lol...still no answer... just lingering doubt..well done
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omg... that may not be the best poem i have ever seen but it sure is the most powerful!
keep on writing!
lotsa cheers,
-martha laura-
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To be honest, it was a tad confusing, but perhaps I'm just tired. But besides that, I really enjoyed this poem, it nearly made me cry at points. I especially enjoyed the very last line of the whole poem, and more broadly, that last stanza. Very descriptive and plot-wrapping. Well done.
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I keep asking myself that question, but I can never come up with an answer. I really enjoyed this poem. It is strong and heartfelt and made me hurt. It's something that I can relate to all too well. Unfortunately, so can a lot of other people. That makes this an even stronger write. It's wonderful. My only suggestion is adding quotation marks around the speaking, like in the sixth stanza. It's not really necessary, though. nice work!
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Thank you Sammy Rae....This was supposed to be an entry for a contest, but I couldn't seem to gather all my thoughts at once and therefore didn't enter it in that one.I'm glad you enjoyed it...and since you can relate to it...I say....I'm sorry for your hurt...but let it inspire you.Thanks for the suggestions. Changes will be made. ~AC~
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