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Only Born To Die

There’s so much cruelty in this world,
We find ourselves asking why?
Continuing through this world of hate,
We’re only born to die.

You try to trust the one you think is true,
But then you learn the truth is all a lie.
You’re let down and alone again,
We’re only born to die.

The memories of past disappointments come flooding back,
The only thing you can think to do is cry.
So much just keeps building up inside,
We’re only born to die.

You have to watch every word you say,
It’s just too easy to defy.
There’s really no point to going on,
We’re only born to die.

The children of yesterday,
Today are getting high.
They kill their brains and yell, "FUCK THE WORLD!!"
"We’re only born to die."

Sometimes life feels like such a drag,
It seems all we can do is try.
Then we learn the awful truth,
We’re only born to die.

Author notes

abcb, repition of the last line in each stanza

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Lionsloves Lair
    April 8, 2007
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    3 claps...9pts

    Reward from the Lionsloves Lair reading list

    ~Lilac


  • Arkbear gold member
    April 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow ~

    I have to say that this is one of the most

    meaningful, dark poems I have read ~

     

    A crafted piece of Art with just a touch

     of loving emotional wonder to make me stop and think ~

     

    I can tell you this....you have told the truth in every line

    you penned...and I felt every emotion you spilled ~

     

    Very well done with pattern scheme....

    I really liked it a lot...and I am not a fan of dark writes....

    ...but this one touched me ~

     

    Great job ~

     

    Bear ~


  • FisherCat
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great!!!!!!

    How true your words are!! From the day you are born, you begin to die. For a dark piece, this is fantastic! This is just soooo sad, but so true! You did a great job on this piece!! Thanks for sharing. Keep that pen flowing.


  • Anjole-Of-The-Artz
    April 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Eh hm

    Well I would wish for a better title, but I love the end line repetition. <3


  • Star Shine
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing organization of the piece, like the style, I especially love the 5th verse, that will get me up on my soapbox, good expression.


    • lilrochick silver member
      April 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      lol...thanks we need the soapbox brought out everyonce in a while so i'm glad you liked it.

      Ro


  • trista gold member
    April 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I found this to be very dark and depressing, but who of us hasn't felt this way at times? Life can seem like a series of disappointments. It's hard on those days to remember all the beautiful things we're sure to experience before we die. I think you did a great job of bringing a dark feel to the poem by repeating the last line in each stanza, really makes that message a strong one. Thanks so much for posting this in the lair, or sadly I would have missed reading it.

    Best wishes,
    ~J.


  • StarEyes
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This sent chills through me. You did a great job writing a dark, thought provoking piece. Keep that pen flowing.


    • lilrochick silver member
      April 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you sunshine, this was one of my 1st dark poems that i ever wrote. I'm glad you liked it.

      Ro


  • ShelleyA gold member
    April 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Good title. An interesting write and message. Powerful. Very dark. Good flow, rhyme and tone. Deep expression of emotion. Good word choice. Nice alliteration and assonance. Good work!


    • lilrochick silver member
      April 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Shelley. I was really p***** at the world that day and just started writing. Thank you for you comment and applause i appreciate it all.

      Ro


  • So Strange
    February 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I really liked the repeating line 'we're only born to die'. That puts some extra drama into the poem. Good job, Ro, and keep on writing on.


  • Lj-
    February 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was really powerful. I loved your repetition of,

    "We’re only born to die,"

    at the end of each stanza.


    Thanks for entering.
    Best of luck!


    • lilrochick silver member
      February 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks i thought that repeating that line would give it more of a punch. Hopefully it did. Thanks again for the comment.


  • InMemoryofCharlieJr
    February 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thats a great poem. It is really good Great job!


  • Angel In Darkness
    February 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow... that was awesome good message; good rhythm; just generally good
    ^_^ KUDOS!!!
    ~Bishop

1 - 17 of 17