When I'm alone in the dark, still as can be
I faintly hear a melodic whisper
These words come through the darkness so clearly
This voice resounds like a heavenly hymn
Like a song an angel would sing to the Creator
The voice was unheard of
Perfect
Flawless
Perfectly flawless
It was strong, yet soft
Ever flowing
Until...it faded
Leaving me in awe
But thankful for such a gift
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything by Welcome-To-Hell.
700 points, ended February 16, 2007, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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that voice can be so soothing if i will but allow myself to listen. thank you for sharing this with me, i needed to be reminded to listen, not just hear. congratulations on the honorable mention. viyanna rosemarie
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You know, some people would've gotten to those last two lines and expected to see something contradictory to the tone of the piece... a great gift, but then feeling cheated that it's gone, that kind of thing. So I was pleasantly surprised to see the idea of "gift" being carried through until the end. Lovely emotions in this. Thanks for entering my contest.
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This was a very good piece, it flowed very nicely and rhymed well. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
This was stimulating but it had some formatting issues. In my personal opinion, I feel that the line breaks between every line are not adding to the poem, and I could not find out any reasoning for them either.
Thank-You for your entry in prewrites,
Do wish you the best.
~Ryan~ -
"Perfect
Flawless
Perfectly flawless"
was my favortie part! good write and an awesome read!
much love
your estranged cousin,
BrokenRoses
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I love! this almost has a quiet intensity that the reader can really grasp. i will have to agree and disagree with MrC. yes you could lose 'twas' and keep the integrity, but I believe it was a good choice of word. It added to the element in a subtle way. Lovely and powerful piece. Good luck in contest!
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Oh I love this and I love the layout and the breaks I faintly hear a melodic whisper thats awesome you've really peened an excellent write best of luck in the contest
Bravo -
Very lovely, indeed. Almost like a guardian angel making their prescence felt. Nicely written, as well.....not sure about 'twas'.....you could lose that word and still keep the integrity....I'm not a fan of those old fashioned words.
Overall....loveliness.
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Such a peaceful and beautiful poem you've written here. As i read it I was just swept away with the calmness and softness that comes with the readin of each line. Awesome write!
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This is quite interesting. I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing.
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