I am the walking disgrace
of my own cowardly dillusions,
So full of passion for nothing and everything-
depending on the conveinence of it all,
Holding steadfast to convictions
until the slightest of temptations
engulf my thoughts,
Those menial ideas held by a mind that
could be influenced by a passing breeze,
I live in words that I cant live by,
Treading the waters of a world
that doesnt make sense even to God,
Striving to do what is right and morally sound
yet I find that I am incapable
of making even the lesser of intelligent decisions,
Always on the inside looking out
through holes burned in a seemingly useless conscience,
And the rose petals fall-
In a slow-motion-movie-like-dance
they flutter to the ground,
Bouncing atop gravities earlier victims,
expensing one last thrust upward toward grace,
One by one wilting away into the soils of the earth,
looking amongst the heavens with humble last requests
of just one more chance.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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It has been a while since I have stopped by your page and to be greeted by a piece of this magnitude and power just leaves me speechless. I am stunned to silence... WoW! Just simply WOW!
♥ Touchof1der
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Thanks, I love to see your thoughts on my pages. Im upside down about this one, I like the thought but I think the flow couldve been better. But Im glad that you enjoyed it.
take care.
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I don't like this
Poetically it's dead on. I don't agree with the topic or how you view yourself in this. I can see better than you what's inside. Take a step back and feel. Think about every aspect and then accept them. Work on what is changable and embrace the rest. -
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Thats funny, I think the poetry sucks but actually like the idea behind it LOL. What can ya do? thanks for your thoughts, hope you are well.
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Oh, Joe. You silly boy. The best writes are always the most personal. Because your emotions are in them that it gives the words passion. I love this one Joe and I hope to see more like it in the furture. I think you need a better title though. The one you have just doesn't do the poem justice. You have an amazing talent. Stop being so hard on yourself. A small phrase to sum it up is "Drowning Splendor" but I don't really like that. Play with it friend. I need to get back into the game. I wrote one yesterday I do believe I will post..
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I actually like your idea for the title, and now that I reread this poem I dont like it, the flow sucks and the ending seems like a "part 2". Screw it, btu i will rename, thanks for the kind words sweetie, and you look different, not in a bad way...the hair maybe? cheers.
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There you are...
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Yes ma'am, here I am, Ive decided to start posting the oh-so-extremely personal things I write, not just the thoughts I dream about. cheers.
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YIKES! Powerful and poignant. Joe, this is incredible! Welcome back...with a vengence! The first two lines just tear at the soul. It sets the whole mood for this piece with perfection. The entire poem is excellent, but the last stanza just jumps out and pulls the reader right into it. "And the rose petals fall- In a slow-motion-movie-like-dance..." Brilliant, and whats creates! And, that last line....who wouldn't beg for just that...one last chance? Outstanding, Joe. Simply Superb! Boy, have I missed you!!! Love and laughter to you, my friend.
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I was hoping you hadnt forgotten me.
I wrote the last stanza first, I thik I will do tht with most of my work now. See if I put it at the beginning then I have a hard time bringing it home, so Ill trick it LOL! Its good to hear your words again, I hop eyou and your family are well.
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reading my thoughts again?
I am.. just absolutely speechless here...
wow and .. wow
♥
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Only in songs that we love
I hope you are well and Im glad that you enjoyed this poem.
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