What would you do
If you knew
The secrets of my past
Would you leave so fast
Would you understand
And offer your hand
Here it goes
(The rest is me ranting)
Last year, I almost took my own life
There are reasons I’m still here
One of which has to do with my faith being tested
I don’t know if it was lack of blood
Or something else
But I looked god in the eye
And told him to just finish the fucking job already
I was sick of it
My life had gone to shit
The girl I loved had left me
Some of my best friends up ‘n’ left
And I couldn’t take it anymore
So I took my fathers shotgun
And went into the woods a lil ways from our house
When I was there I thought long and hard
Just wanted everything to end
I had fresh cuts on my wrists
And was told that I had to go on
I understood that I had things left to do here
As much as I hated it
Don’t go all Emo on me and tell me I don’t know how you feel
I’ve been there
I’ve stood in your shoes
I wanted more then anything else to die
But was not allowed
And obviously my purpose hasn’t been fulfilled
Otherwise I wouldn’t be here
But anyways
Yes I wanted to die
Yes I cut
And yes I almost blew my brains across the night
After that night I started coming back
But I was still depressed
I still wanted to die
But I knew it was in god’s hands
Then I met you
A heartbroken, hopeless girl
And I made my choice
I would live
I would make my own purpose
So long as I live you will be happy
I love you
You’re my sanity
In this world of the insane
Your what I look forward to tomorrow for
You’re the girl I want nothing more then to hold
To kiss
And to have love me back
I asked if you were mine
And your simple reply allowed my spirit to soar
One simple word
That means the world
‘Yes’
Which is all I need
The depression still lingers near
It’s icy fingers caressing my skin
But then I think of you
And it backs off
God I love you so much
And I don’t care how long I have to wait
When I finally get you in my arms
We will be stronger for it
Stronger for this trial
I want to see you smile
And know that when you do
It’s for me
I want…
Blah
There’s not enough words for me to tell everything
So I’ll sum it up in three words
“I love you”
Author notes
People always tell me to open up, well here you go, I've opened up, you fucking happy now?
I wrote this poem for mandy
So she would know what she means to me
Seems it didn't do what it was supposed to
Now she's scared that she'll do something
That will drive me back over that edge
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I hope it made you feel better. I hope that Mandy read it and know how much she is loved by you. I hope that the piece of you that still believes in God will find a way to understand what has taken me many years. It does not have to be this way. I really do care about people...including you. Yeah I know I am just a stranger typing words...but I am also a real person who feels and have been where you are at. If I am real...I assume that you are; along with your feelings and pain.
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everyone is near that edge it just takes a stronger person to recognize it... and the accept... and then back away... im very glad you backed away from that edge and you found a reason to live... great write
-tabbykat -
wow hun that is cool i love it you are such a good poet as i always tell you but i tell you this stuff bc it is true.....*hugs*
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aww this is such a powerful write.. and it expresses so much of how u feel and felt. And every1 has different expreiances yet it is somthing many can relate to and it has a positive outcome after all u are still here! so it gives a gd and powerful message to others who feel like they want to die.
everyone has there own story.. somthing personal to them this is yours and its not over yet so i hope your last chapter ends happy, with the love you share for that special person growing even stronger as days go on.
well done on the write once again
luv from bleeding within xx -
babe... -sighs-
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So what is your reply, am I the perfect guy like you thought? Do I seem a little more human now? Do you still want me?
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Corey... Nothing's changed.. it's just that im scared now.. That if I do soemthing to myself or something wrong period... -sighs-... idk..
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I'll be fine, I love you and will live with whatever choice you make. And don't you dare hurt yourself, you're beautiful, and in my eyes your perfect.
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you know when you wrote "Don’t go all Emo on me and tell me I don’t know how you feel
I’ve been there
I’ve stood in your shoes"
well im gonna go there and say that same thing sorry but i have been htere done that. found love after years of self torment and hate. now i have a 3 month old son i love him, soooo much and my fiancee i still feel shity but it took years and years to develope all my problems and it may take years and years to solve them and erase scars i have left. so if theis is really your story. great one by the way not a poem but just ramblings i love it and its great to hear there was a positive ending. remember even though this is soo cliche it's to easy to give into death and life ......life can be so fucking beautiful somedays ......
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This is my story, and it isn't finished yet. I wonder who will write the final chapter, for I will be beyond that point, will I have a son, like you do, who will write down his fathers last words, before weeping over my body, will my wife do it, god I hope not, I can't stand the thought of her crying over me now, or maybe I'm destined to die alone, I don't know, but thank you for the applause, and thank you for sharing your story with me, I hope you and your loved one have wonderful lives.
~Corey~
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