Tears fall from my eyes
As I gasp air for you
Cry for you
Die for you
Bloody blood drools for you
As I take punches for you
Forget about the world
And my family all for you
Stuck in my bed
Has no one to believe in her
All for you
Looses everything she has
Her trust that can never be gained
All for you
Covers her lies with lies
Nowhere to stand all for you
But you know what
I don’t mind
After all,
Its all for you
Last night I prayed
Woke up and nothing had changed
But am waiting for you
Because I left everything else
To be with you
Given up on it all
So now without you I have nothing at all
All I have is three words from your mouth
I love you
But nothing matters anymore
Because I love you
And this pain that bleeds its soul out
Its ok baby because it is all for you
Author notes
True
A contest entry
- Dangerously in Love by MzDimeDivia.
330 points, ended March 26, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - best prewrites by serenity silvermoon.
600 points, ended April 6, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love and Hurt by xofightinirishx3.
495 points, ended May 20, 2008, 26 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "GOLD" "SILVER" "BRONZE" by wingsofgold25.
1000 points, ended April 23, 2008, 43 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's Another Options Contest!! //x³ by xCandieKissesx.
450 points, ended May 10, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enrapture and Intoxicate by FlipperSwitch.
670 points, ended May 13, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bring on the Cliche Poetry!! by masky.
1800 points, ended June 5, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Love...With a Twist by Hidden.
480 points, ended June 7, 2008, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What You'd Give For Love by DarknessOfSanity.
900 points, ended July 4, 2008, 43 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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wow. that amazing. <3 truly.
i felt it hit close to home for me in some ways. it reminded me of my ex boyfriend and i =\
thanks for entering and good luck<3 -
wow. this poem has a nice history on its hands. Congrats,and good luck, this was awsome.
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Thank you for entering. Shancy.
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Bloody blood drools for you ???
i thought that was a little odd and i think that sortof threw me off for the rest of the poem. i mean i love the idea behind it... but the use of words was a little less than elegant.
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This is good!
I like it! jeje
Good Luck in the contest!
♥♥♥♥ -
My favorite...
...of all the poems you posted in my contest would be this one. I honestly think it fits my requirements better for one thing, and it just really intrigues me. It was very emotional and you made it easy to relate to. You definitely showed me what you'd give for love, which in this case would be everything. You'd do just about anything, no matter how far you'd have to go, and you just put it out there....extremely well in this poem, I think. It was really well done- good luck! -
Great write, full of emotion.Thanx for entering and good luck!
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omg i loved this its so beautiful and so sad and lovin
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this is a very beautiful and emotional write! that i think many people can relate too! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! CarnalNineTailedFox
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You need to have the option number if you want to be judged.
I have these lines that I think could be rewritten.
Tears fall
As I gasp air for you
Crying and Dying for you.
Blood drips slowly downward
As I take punches in your name
Those were those only lines that I did not like as much. But this is a very good poem. Those are just my suggestions. Thank you for entering in my contest. -
THANK U 4 ENTERING!i liked reading this one!Good luck!~
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If you will allow me - Let me tell you that I don't usually like this kind of poetry, but I'm VERY open-minded - and this helped me here. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! I don't know if you listen to Evanescence, but it got me thinking of "Taking over me"-their song. Yes, so the punctuation might be a little off, but...I don't know why, I enjoyed it a terrible amount. Here's my favorite stanza:
"Covers her lies with lies,
Nowhere to stand - all for you
But you know what?
I don’t mind!
After all,
Its all for you."
I also edited the punctuation a little when quoted it, because it didn't make sense to me any other way (but then again, I might be wrong - you ...think about it, and only edit if you want to - this won't influence my judging).
I'll also quote some bits, edited by me, in the way I think they sound better - like I said, it's perfectly your right not to edit if you don't want to:
"Last night I prayed;
Woke up and nothing changed."
My second favorite stanza:
"So now without you I have nothing at all!
All I have is three words from your mouth:
"I love you"
But nothing matters anymore,
Because I love you,
And this pain that bleeds its soul out...
Its ok baby because it is all for you..."
There are also some other bits that I would improve by punctuating it correctly...but that will be up for you to review and edit. Best of luck, and thank you for entering!
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I am sorry, but i was pretty confused in this poem i dont really understand it.
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It's not healthy, but I can relate as I was alwyas willing to go through anything to be with him as I loved him.
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Hmm, I've seen this piece before. Oh yes, that's right..It was entered in my other contest! Heh, silly me for not realizing! Anyway, stellar flow and imagery! Well expressed emotions! Thanks for entering and good luck!
+ Jackie -
I really love the last line in this; "It's okay baby, because it's all for you." It's beautiful and I find myself saying that a lot in life. Thank you for entering.
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This poem is very cliche, but for some reason that I am not sure about it works and it works so well. I am amazed.
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this was interesting, but i'm not sure how it related to true love. it was a little dark for true love, but i know it can take all kinds of forms. still, a wonderful piece. thank you for entering!!
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i liked it
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Very powerful and emotional. I felt every word come to life as I read it. I also grasped onto them like they were actually happening to me. Great write! && Good luck in my contest!
+ Jackie ♥ -
It seems like you have a powerful love and a strong bond with this person. Best wishes and thank you for entering.
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Congratulations on the Golden trophy!!
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Bloody blood? doesnt seem to fit here but other than that a good read good luck
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pretty good
bloddy blood drolls for you kinda sounds awkward but the rest of the stanza is really awesome
i started to hate the person you were talking about and then i read the last stanza and i was like... he/or she must mean a lot
pretty good
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thank you =) the person was my bf and i went through a whole lot because of him and at the time he was being really stupid and i really didn't feel like he realized all the thing I'm going through all because of him..so it was kind of a punch in the face to him when i gave it to him to read..but we're ok now goin strong for more than 2 and a hlf yrs so I'm happy and things are going GREAT
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good job thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
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nice poem! great job!! good luck in all of your contests!
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this is a very good poem and i can relate to giving your all to that person. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! NineTailedFox
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i definitely felt your feelings here... very deep and emotional..good luck and thanks for entering
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Covers her lies with lies
yes it seems that is all a lie can go dear.
to another lie. it is on never ending lie
to it hits hard and we no longer can go on with it.
great poem i enoyed reading it much. -
Wonderful poem. I loved how I could feel the emotion in this. It was very creative and fit this contest! Thank you. It is a deep poem and i love that.
Last night I prayed
Woke up and nothing had changed
But am waiting for you
Because I left everything else
To be with you
Given up on it all
Great part!
Good luck ~Ruth~ -
The repatition workss very nicely here, it makes your point know. Great work. Loved this part:
Covers her lies with lies
Nowhere to stand all for you
But you know what
I don’t mind
After all,
Its all for you
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When you would be willing to die for someone, to do anything for someone, then they push that away, that's the worst feeling you can ever feel. Then again, the most beautiful is to live for osmeone, or to live without those who hurt us, I'm having to learn to do that with my ex as well.
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Cry
It made me think back on what i had given up to be with someone and i loved it keep on writing and i loved the part when you said Last night I prayed
Woke up and nothing had changed
But am waiting for you
Because I left everything else
To be with you
Given up on it all
So now without you I have nothing at all
All I have is three words from your mouth
I love you
But nothing matters anymore
Because I love you
And this pain that bleeds its soul out
Its ok baby because it is all for you
Great work
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OMG LEESH!
this poem is so DEEP!
i love it!
my favorite part was @ the bottem...i give it 5 stars!mwahzzzzzz!
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