Falling away
finding black is my nature
not my favorite color
finding hardship were I should find love
knowing that your not here
and I don’t even know who you are
as I fall endlessly in pain,
Shame,
Fame,
so far out of reach
now perfection loosing its luster
as I try and muster
just enough will to keep myself alive for a second longer
keeping my eyes open my gnarled voice growing stronger
sound like a hundred men
at once forcing my pain into your heart
listen to me
listen to me now or I might just die
fighting the words back as I try to be nice
knowing I could rip your throat out
who the fuck needs a knife
ill rip you apart with my bare hand
its about damn time the ugly nice boy made a god damned stand
so much power yet I restrain,
Refrain,
Constrain,
myself form killing you all
your puny mortal flame,
bullets hurt
Yes,
I am no god
but someone needs to teach you that even your punk ass body returns to the sod,
can you understand me?
am being to vague?
Do you need and example?
think of the pelage,
raining down blood of your own sin,
counting your bleakness from with in,
I am dark and I am scary wicked and weird
but am I really to be feared ?
or are you just like me?
no were to go no were to hid.
another part of the human condition.
its called pride…
running your mouth like an open spigot,
One blow from my fist can fix it,
Hurting people all around you
knowing its wrong,
Come here listen to this song ,
no one needs you
you are alone,
just like every one else your age you have no home,
no im not the only one
no im no longer scared
watching as
from your sternum your soul is ripped
confined in a glass jar set upon a shelf so far
out of reach is your mind from your heart
never ending love of pain
you petty yourself and make others feel the same
you hurt others so you can feel good
you sadist mother fucker
I hope you die and you should die and burn
burn in hell for all the sins you have commented
human nature is the ultimate excuse
you cant help it
And its no use,
no one uses it though
its to bloody to be true
you ignore it as you let the mortality consume you,
NO
I’m not hateful
and im not mean
I am just showing you what you have never seen
a side of yourself that’s so dark and mad
that you break down and cry because you know its true
Lying,
Crying,
Dieing,
for you
all your family friends and lovers going though
the same thing
but that’s not enough for you,
you push all your problems on them and don’t help in return
when will you ever fucking learn….
Author notes
my first rant poem a new style im starting for myself tell me what you think.
A contest entry
- the war in my head by serenity silvermoon.
311 points, ended February 11, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best ! by vasi.
700 points, ended March 10, 2007, 123 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be brutal
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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What can I say???
This write is deep and filled with a passion and desire.It is horrible how many people feel and act with one another. And the mean people! Good Job!
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wow i love it, i wish i could write this good ahahahaha
eventually i might this is by far the best rant i have read so far!!!!!!!!
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Damn!...I actually just read this because I had just wrote a rant of my own...but yours wins against it obviously...you kept the flow going great throughout and the emotion in it was the type of rage I feel when I hear corey taylor sing..anyways...damn good rant my friend
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Transcend All
The Pain,Anger the hurt is deep! Did they hear you or see themselves in your words, color or feeling? Thank you for sharing this today your words hit home for me,I wanted to say a lot of these words, holding their face so they could see every vivid description of how they live. It was long but the emotion helped keep it moving! Thank you for sharing your rant of emotion 0 purging !
Namast
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yeah, now this is much more like it mutherfucker! i think i feel like i am in a mutherfuckimn' go damn rantin' rage myself after rteading your rantin rancid thoughts of shit croakin ear splittin revenge that wants to slice the throats of every poet like you!
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Go one, go on in thy strength, and ye shall turn not back for any.
84 lines in prospect: a Rant! in deed!
"you're" = "you are". "your" = possession of/by you. Which was intended? (eg "that your not here" => one knows the absence of you that is present(ly).)
How can one force pain into the heart of another not present?(ln16). At this point the absence looks more like self-indulgence than .. but I go on.
Listen to you rant? Or die? Hmm: I have a choice...and you have a voice...hmmm...
Touchy touchy. Arrogant too: just try it. If you want to "rip (my) throat out" you better use your words more evocatively: I am so far away, let alone I know how to avoid, parry and so on.
"need an? example"
pelage - a word I know not.
"are you just like me" - bon. I applaud.
no "were"? or "where"?
... the dreaded ellipses.
age = home. Yeah?
I could not keep reading it: but it did add up, which is the point. Have you done a Love-Rant to balance your ouevre? If not in deed your soul/emotions? (
) - I too hate with a Vengeance (= vindicate and rectify the world I as I would see it fit about me, keyword fit/tantrum.)
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I'm not going to be brutal just honest. I liked the theme of the poem even though it seemed you went a little too far, but I'm not in your shoes so I shouldn't talk. I liked the flow except for 1 or 2 parts that kind of stopped and then continued on nicely. Pretty good imagery and very impactful. One thing to remember is that most guys ( most of us) talk way too much shit, because they feel they have to. Instinct maybe, I don't know, all I know is that all guy feels the right to talk shit to other people. Especially when they feel they are in the presence of those weaker. Message me if you want your score, include the name of your poem. Thanks for entering.
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holyyyyy! I am literally speechless. You never fail to amaze me and this poem blew me away. I def. think you should write like this more often hun.
<3 Kayla
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thank you you inspred me with your poem i belived in love before it was cool, i think thats the name its close, but yeah thank you ^_^
Josh R.
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Great write. Full of raw emotion and anger. All in all, a damn good rant. I thought you wrote this really well and sent your message accross very, very loud and clear. Great write.
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Thank you when i get the time ill try and cheak out your stuff as well, thanks for the encuragement.
~Josh R.~
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Great rant, enjoyed it, few spell errors that need spellcheck but I loved the vitriol of the piece, a rant a day is good for the soul!
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sorry i apreciate teh comment but dont know the meaning of the word "Vitrol" eh...he he...-_-
~Josh R.~
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