Every seam of my life;
Of my existance
Is being pulled
Causing me grief and strife.
I think sitting in a trance:
Do I want to die young, not old?
It felt like in my back was a knife;
As if someone on me did a Voodoo dance.
She spoke meekly, not bold
And I couldn't believe what I was told.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Great write so full of painful emotions. I could feel your pain. Good luck in my contest
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hmm
short and sweet hopefully thats what you were going for i just wanted to let you know that i didnt like a comment you made on someone elses page i dont even remember who but it didnt sit well and i was mad..... MAD, i tell you.to me it seemed like you were critiquing set up and format over nutritional value...., I mean isnt that what is most important Isnt how it sits in your stomach I mean i can understand if your OCD because i myself am diagnosed and know how little things can bother you but hold tight my prince and know that words are words and thier meaning is infinite in the readers mind format means nothing over punctuation will only bring about one meaning as aposed to leaving it up to the reader to decide what it means to them -
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Also the poem was The Sandwich I Never Made by In Liquid Wonder, and it clearly states that they encourage critique so back off!
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I am sorry you were mad because of that one comment but if I remember correctly the author did state that they wanted critique and I was not rude or impolite and I did emphasize what they did, how they wrote it, was completely up to them and they may or may not have their reasons... so I am sorry you feel that way.
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Mysterious
It really leaves you wondering
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HMMM
i'm really curious as to what u were told,
and whether or not theres really a voodoo hex
hmm *wonders away*
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I love the "Voodoo Dance" line. And the rhyming works very well too. X
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I love this... absolutely amazing... short and hits the point of my every emotion.. anger, sadness, ecstacy even
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