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A Fathers Loss

My daughter said I love you today
It wasn't said to me
My daughter took her first step today
I wasn't there to see

My daughter started school today
You put her on the bus
I didn't have the chance to say
Or make a special fuss

My daughter had her first real kiss
It happened at thirteen
Another moment that I missed
Another lost feeling

You turned sweet sixteen today
I hope your life is good
I'm sorry that I walked away
I'd change it if I could

Now it's graduation day
And your a woman now
But if you ever need your dad
I'm sure we'll meet somehow

Author notes

bluecollarlove----Mike

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 20

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    Truely a sad poem! Thank you for this heartfelt entry. I hope you do meet with your daughter again someday.

    Becks

  • Luminescence
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    i loved this... it really hurts to type though so Im just gonna say its good

  • moonburndcheese
    February 5

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    o wow this is sad... it has alot of strong emotion and it's so familiar... i really like your poems...


  • Edna Sweetlove
    January 7

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    This is very funny. I shall consider adding you to my favourites, if you keep this standard up! Have you written any other funny poems? I love rhyming "bus" with "fuss": nearly as good as rhyming "thirteen" and "feeling". In fact, much better.

  • Nolliedog
    December 10, 2007

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    Heartfelt

    I felt almost every emotion I can think of when reading this poem, your words in all honesty moved me. Thank you so much for entering my contest and Good Luck, i look forward to reading more of your work


  • AshtrayBaby
    August 21, 2007

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    I find the entries in my contest really odd.
    Just below this I have an erotica poem.
    Really odd.

    Anyways, I really liked this. I really don't know what to say but that.

  • ellipsist
    August 6, 2007
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    I have a question about the 2nd

    stanza: what did you not have the chance to say? I'm not certain "say" is the right word to end that line with just because it rhymes...

    I like this piece, but I feel the rhyming kind of takes away from the depth of the message... that is just my opinion though... it was still touching and overall a pretty solid write... message clearly conveyed...

    • bluecollarlove
      August 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't have a chance to say OR make a special fuss.It means I didn't have the chance to talk to her waiting on her first day of school or get to make it special for her.Thank you for reading and your comments.

  • azlyn gold member
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Darling...I have been right there with you! Your words are swwet to my soul. Thank goodness they are with you now. Men suffer persecution when it comes to the law and their children. My son has faced this. Thank you so deeply for the pleasure of this read!!!
    Love~
    Az


  • denika
    February 27, 2007

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    losing a child while they are there is the worst feeling in the world. this poem is something that makes you think ...


  • BlessedAngel
    February 21, 2007
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    A very amazing and poignant piece striking a cord of parental emotions deep inside my heart...I felt every syllable and cherished each valuable tear that was shed...hope to read more of you...smiles, Terry


  • His girl forever
    February 1, 2007

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    Awwww,.... this is so sweet, every girl needs her father by her side... and I would love if my real dad showed he cared this much!! Great Job!
1 - 12 of 12