you leave me sucking lemon
drops
of time
that both emptied
& fulfilled me
that
that is why all the clocks
have stopped
A contest entry
- 15 minutes - 3 by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended January 31, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tear Jerkers by Naridill.
300 points, ended June 19, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Short, sweet and to the point. Loved it and I did feel the sourness pouring from this write. Well done. Keep them coming and blessed be.
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for something so very short, it is also deeply moving... there is such a sadness, an angst about the thoughts unspoken woven within. i really enjoyed the read here. take acre.
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Not bad for 15 minutes of writing well written and I could taste those lemon drops thank you for the write and thank you for sharing.
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Holy smokes! short and sweet, but with the tartness of the lemon! Best of luck in the contest!!!!!!! Keep that pen flowing.
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good write
this poem is sweet and short.
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yes!!! it is that ecstacy, whatever it may be, that makes time just stand still!!! or sometimes even a great heartbreak of our loss of a loved one and the instances are forever!!!!
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take out one of the "that" and this poem is perfect and sweet (note: leave a space between "fulfilled me" and "that is why").
I love the metaphor of the Lemon-drop itself. It can stand for many things but the fact that it has this conneectivity with time is very perplexing and interesting to me.
I loved it. Keep u -
hmm
i dont know what to say about this i thought it was very intersting you have a good style and sence of humer i desided its very good nice job
♥♥
sam.
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short, sweet and to the point...I love poems that make you think, and this is one of them. The lemon-drop comparison is quite interesting...two feelings at a time. A great write.
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intersting
it dose make you think about life. its nice and short as well. but there is such alot in theses 10 lines
great write
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wonderful
ya'll crazy fool.
i wish yall neva learned the word lemon...it's bein abuse in this rediculas poem you attempted to write.
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Dearest babyvanilla ( love your name!) I am sorry if I offended your lemon-ist views,the challenge for me was to write to the 10 line contest criteria & I used lemon to demonstrate the sour taste that some memories leave within in the mind but it never occured that I was abusing the lemon,I love lemons and it was not my intent,it's just creativity
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cute
I like this
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie
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Interesting
This one leaves the answer to each reader to figure out for themselves. Thought provoking! I like it! Don
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Sweet and sour.
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I think this is the shortest poem I've ever seen from that creative pen and mind of yours, Yvette. Interesting concept here...the clocks have stopped on all that is good and sour. Liked this!!
~ Nicolette
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sweet;
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I know you would, Girl, but for now it's lemon drops for me. I think I caught one of those flu-bugs and came home early. It'll be lemon drops and tea and cold medicine instead of those chocolates for now!J o
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Sorry to hear you have the flu hun,but at least it's not that terrible disease that floors men,yeah the "man-cold" God bless 'em if they so much as sneeze they take to their bed for the full nursing service!!
Wrap up warm,plenty of fluids and rest,and when you sleep you can still chase the emoticons and keyboard in your sleep! Get well soon for I shall miss you making me smile
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Very interesting
My grandfather always had lemon drops. And they are somewhat as you describe them. Sweet and sour, full and empty, all at the same time. I have never thought of them in the way. Very interesting.
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I really like the sense as to the sour-sweet lemon drops to the sense of the sour-sweet moments of time you've taken in this poem. It is much like stopping the clock, looking back at the past to recall those joys and the sadnesses.
Multi-layered and great writing. Best wishes to you in the contest!
Jo
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Thankyou my friend,all us sisters prefer the taste of chocolate after all And I would share my chocolate with you
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I love lemon drops.
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