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[ Hey Dad. ]

Hey Dad.
I fucked up again.
That's two more that hate me,
Boys I discard like old skin:
  I'm not interested
  I never was.
Just a few more one-night stands
And half-smoked cigarettes
To add to my collection:
Grey piles
Of shredded memory,
Alcoholic passages,
And over-filled veins.
I inject them straight to my soul,
Struggling to retain homeostasis
Like a heroin addict.

I'm drowning, Dad.
And I need your help.

Author notes

2007
My dad is never the first person I think of when I want advice. Yet, when I was stuck in a rut, and started jotting thoughts from my head, it seemed only natural to address this to him.

Several rough drafts later and I'm still not close to satisfied. It's getting there, though...

Initial impression(s)? How's the imagery? The continuity?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • purpledragonfly
    February 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    So Sad

    Very powerful and emotional piece.... I did run to my dad when I was in my rut (many years ago) and he ran to the rescue and saved me..... it changed my life of misery and hopelessness. It's a smooth flowing piece and seems to really come from the soul....
    Good luck with that final copy that satisfies you - I can't give you any suggestions other than maybe (if it's real thoughts running through your head and Dad just popped out) you need to share it with Dad????
    My thoughts are with you on this one! : )
    Dragonfly/Betsy


  • Auto Boa
    February 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thats good, Kinda sad but you really know your descriptive vocab.