Your breath on my neck
Your hand at my side
The night is clouded
(Without my glasses)
The sun will rise soon
And it's so very cold
Clouds of ice surround our mouths
And noses
But there's a fire
Not passion but lust
Somehow disguised as both
And I'm content
Somehow disguised as happy
Secrecy has negative connotations
That's why I'm out here.
Author notes
2006 poem
(I still don't regret that one-night stand)
A contest entry
- Secrecy and Lies. Hate and Deceit. Bullshit and Drama. by perfect relief.
450 points, ended March 8, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Your original impression(s)
Comments
-
I like the openess of your poem...the way that it takes place outside in the open. But I think that I would've made it more apparent in the work that you were talking about a one-night stand. And just a question to feed my own curiosity...does the fact that you are outside stop you from feeling the need for secrecy later, like when your friends ask you what you did that night?
-
Well, it's nice to know that you don't regret the one-night stand. you've done a grat job writing about it and I do so love the last two lines.
Thank you for entering! -
: )
wonderful flow and imagery...
I love this - I can feel the cold and the heat messed together...great job - I can't wait to read more
DF 40
Adding your comment:
