i see myself
in a mirror
i see myself
but when i look in my eyes
i see my father
though i never met him
i know who he is
how he is,
that he worries
i look in the back of my mind
only to see void black
where happiness should be
and vivid colored pain
of what remains
and my earliest of all
my father
he's who i miss
he's who i hate
most of all
in the front
of my mind
education...
nothing but facts, figures
and bullshit!
i'm angry that i
have a hard time looking past
and looking at my past
i can only get relaspes
flashbacks
formed from similar situations
I look at myself
in the mirror
is it me?
or my father that i see?
i can't tell anymore
i look more
like him everyday
i look like
the very last time i saw him
Oct. 9, 1989
I look out across a sea of black
Its snowing slightly
And yet i see this large set of waves
Being loaded onto an ambulence
Blinding white
I realize who it is
My mother, dead
I look closer to me
In the back of a squad car
He caught my eye
for the last time
and he began to cry
as well as i
The next day,
I was adopted at a courthouse
By my aunt and uncle
i bet i can see
myself in my father
if only i could grab
through this mirror
and bring him back in my life
i'd change everything
I wouldn't hate my False Father so much
But I know
That i can't do that
Which is why
I'm going to break
this mirror once again
as i hate the image
of my father in myself
I pull my fist back
And launch it forward
Its done
My dream of finding him
Is shattered again
On the bathroom floor
Too bad
I can't do this
To my real hopes
And dreams of finding him
I want that to be shattered
As that tattered dream
Will not be restored
It won't be fufilled
Nor destroyed or ignored
Why won't the mirror in my head shatter?
Author notes
2 secrets portrayed in here
i hate mirrors.
i have mixed feelings about my dad that i don't even know about, how to describe them.
this is the adoption option. My opinions on it
In a list
A contest entry
- Post Secret::My Secret Inspired *Now Your SECRET!* by Dead Star--x.
350 points, ended February 14, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm Bored by babygirltmple619.
360 points, ended February 14, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Darkness by Samantha-..
375 points, ended February 28, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tears by bigXfatXemo.
525 points, ended April 17, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who Resides In Your Heart ? by Poetic Aphrodite.
375 points, ended April 20, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The deepest darkest within by Taintednightengale.
450 points, ended May 24, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
how's that for a mirror poem?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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sad, so sad, its horrible to hear things like this happen, but it was a beautiful poem of your last memories of him, and good write
Ashley<3 -
This is okay. It does have some language but other than that nice work
Thanc for entering , good luck
Abidoodle
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responding to your comment on Inwards. Outwards. This Pain It Won't Shatter.
by some language(knowing that you mean swears)
do you mean the word "bullshit"?
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this was a great write...i really enjoyed reading this and can relate to the feelings that you described and wrote about as well keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
hmm
This was very deep. I liked the power in it and I know how you feel, but it had no ryhme sheme at all. it was just ranting and thats okay, because sometimes youve just gotta let it out. Good job
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Thankyou for your heartfelt entry, Bella
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Powerful
Wow really got the feeling of anger against him here. It was brlliantly portrayed, I loved how you used mirrors to express your emotions. All the best to you and good luck =] Thanks for entering
Frankie xXx
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i liked it, the emotion literally jumps of the page, i can totally relate to the mixed feelings with about your dad, my dad and I have the worst relationship ever
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I dont think you could be like your father and you seem like a realy sweet person!!! Everone says your ment to be like your parents I don't beleave that becaus eI am already alot better than they were and I still have years of improvment to go!!! I think that you don't see your father but the disapointment of what you wanted him to be in comparision to what he is and has nothing to do with your true self!!! And I am really sorry if anything I said here bothers you thats not what I am going for!!!
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Beautiful. The way you described the likeness between you and your father was amazing. I'm so sorry about all the pain you've been through. I loved the way you told of your hate towards the mirror. I just loved it. Good luck!!!
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this is a great write..your words were strong and powerful..theer was alot of pain and emootions in this write..i hope everything works out aand keep writting your great at it and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~ -
Very raw and sharp. Parents are hard to get over, especally when they are lost or somehow mysterious. The mirror connection fits nicely, with seeing him in yourself and seeing your past through the mirror.
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I too hate mirrors not for the reasons you do. This is a well written piece full of anger. You have given us a mirror to see inside you. This piece is well penned and flows well. Good luck in the contest.
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i hate mirrors to they do you no good and i hate finding people constantly staring at themselves, and i always feel like someone will like pop out and kill me from the mirror, i dunno im weird.. but i do like this you portrayed a lot of imagery and emotion i could see what you were seeing and feel what you were feeling thanx for entering my contest!
*abused
*
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