I want you to be my Valentine
Once I have you, walls you値l climb
So when you receive my Valentine card
Open it slowly, before you decide to give me your heart
You池e my prefect victim of love I see
For your young, sweet and naive
I値l give you a Valentines Day you値l never forget
After I知 done with you there is nothing left
While I cut out your heart
And tear your soul and spirit apart
As I celebrate your death alone
Your love ones are waiting for you at home
I make love to your corpse
And show you the last bit of warmth
As I kiss your cold, cold lips
And you caress my face with your cold finger tips
With your blood I will draw
Many pictures of hearts on the wall
Expressing the dark love I have for you
As I cut you apart for I知 not through
The evil I have within
Will celebrate the Dark Valentine Dream
The sensation of your death
Will remain with me till the next
Victim of dark love appears
And with me I have her near
In a list
A contest entry
- Bury me in Black (dark poetry) by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended February 15, 2007, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness over takes you and me by ur worse nightmare.
450 points, ended May 31, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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Love this
This is is one of my favorites , your such a amazing writer
my favorite part:
As I celebrate your death alone
Your love ones are waiting for you at home
I make love to your corpse
And show you the last bit of warmth
As I kiss your cold, cold lips
And you caress my face with your cold finger tips
With your blood I will draw
Many pictures of hearts on the wall
(so Freaking awesome) 
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fuck him over then take his spirit what the hell ok. sis cold finger tips you made them sound sensual i am impressed you know what I love dark and not good with it I hope you use some dark in your round i am putting you in I havent seen if HA got any dark i hope that is not her weakness
I love this. its a gold piece I believe so
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Sis its a love afair the man is crazy what can I say. He loves to make love to corpes. He enjoyes the cold feeling of loving death. Thank you for your great review. I love you to (LISA)
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This isn't very gore filled, I meant like, actual gore, painstakeing detail on how you would rip her apart, ext...
But I do like the idea, if you could maybe work on it...
Thankyou for entering my contest.
~Raven -
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Its ok I was working on one that you might think its gory enough but not for the contest. Thank you for your review God bless (LISA)
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great
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Love your comments
Yes a little bit to dark. But thats what every one likes to read. Thank you for your great review. I love that it blows your mine. (Lisa)
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omg that is some deep shit dude in the beginning i was kind of shakey but towards that middle and ending it was great it is very day dude great job that blows mine out that water but good wor
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WHOA!!! GREAT JOB! I LOVED IT! I usually don't like rhyming poems but this one was great. beautifull job...good luck and thanks for entering!
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Thank you for your review. Greatly appreciated. Glad you liked it. A little bit dark I guess. (Lisa)
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so dark so evil i love it well done it is brilliant
nightmare xx
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A nightmare come true Thank for you great comments. (Lisa)
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chilling!
wow thats sweet! creepy disturbing and desgusting! lol wonderful!!!
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Thank you for you disturbing words (Lisa)
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Cryptic, gore-galore and a whole bunch of other dark adjectives for this one! I could not help but break out into a smile though....this was like a horror film unfolding in my mind. really good work here! Thanks for the pleasurable read and best of luck to you in this contest!
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Thank you and sorry for the scare not really. Thank you for the great review (Lisa)
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Good, scary, deep, weird.....
I'm outta words for it.
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Thank you for reading my write
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ty for fixing this
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sick! nice! i love this its a great dark poem very nice!!
thx for entering my contest!
~marin~
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Thank you for reading my write and know its a little dark but I think it came out ok. (Lisa)
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oooo this was very dark and morbid i really enjoyed reading this it was a great rwrite and the flow was very smooth and powerful..keep writting your veryt talented
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Wow thank you for your amazing comments, I am glad you enjoyed this write. I know it was a bit dark and morbid. But the contest wanted dark. thanks again (Lisa)
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Sinister, creepy... Everything a good Val's Day poem should be! Well done!
Best wishes,
Laura
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Thank you so much for reading my poem and your great comments. (Lisa)
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This is an amazing poem. I love the darkness you have brought to something most would consider great. Valentines day isn't all light.
~Snowfall -
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Yes so true but every one thinks Valentines Day as love not hate or death. Its just like everything in life. You have the good with the bad. The happy with the sad. And joy with sorrow. Its life we are all destined to live. Thank you for read my dark, dark write. (Lisa)
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Oh my freakin gosh!
Morbid!
I love it *heart*
It's so creepy. [I just can't get over it]
Keep up the [killer] work, take care, and keep on writing! <33
~Princess of Shadows~ -
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Wow thats so much for your comments. Glad you really loved it. Its a bit dark but thats what the contest called for. Thanks again (Lisa)
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o.O
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Thank you for the Applauses (Lisa)
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a very morbid poem, a great take on valentines day, made me shiver as i read it. love the line;
And you caress my face with your cold finger tips
great write, good luck in the contests
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Wow almost ever one say they made them Shiver how strange indeed Hahahaha. Its is a bit dark but thats what the contest wanted. I think I would more that scare to meet a crazy like that. It kinda reminds me of the show CSI or Criminal minds Where there are so many crazys killing girl. Thank you again For reading so many of my writes. (Lisa)
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I think the title could have been a little more creative, but I love the poem. My two favorite stanzanas are these ones:
I’ll give you a Valentines Day you’ll never forget
After I’m done with you there is nothing left
While I cut out your heart
And tear your soul and spirit apart
and
As I kiss your cold, cold lips
And you caress my face with your cold finger tips
With your blood I will draw
Many pictures of hearts on the wall
I LOVE THIS POEM!!!!!
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Maybe the title could have been a little different but the concept is dark. Thats why is put the title as is. because its more than dark. Thank you so much for reading my write. I think my favorite lines are
"I make love to your corpse
And show you the last bit of warmth
As I kiss your cold, cold lips
And you caress my face with your cold finger tips"
Thank again so much greatly appreciated (Lisa)
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Ill admit, when I saw the title to this piece, I did not think that this would be a very good read, but out of curiousity I read it anyway, and WOW! you blew me away with this one. This is an amazing piece of work right here, keep up the good work. Awe inspiring imagery and DIVINE word usage.
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Well I am honored with your comments. I know its a bit dark. And some might say a bit gruesome or creepy. But the contest ask for dark and thats what I gave them. Thank for reading the right and not being disappointed with it. (Lisa)
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i really liked this poem i don't really know y but i thouthght it flowed well and i really liked the detail u went into.
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Thank you for you wonderful comments they mean alot to me. The contest asked for dark so I gave it to them. (Lisa)
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...that's more like the Valentines Day I envision! rofl. You're a real
When it comes down to it. Great job.
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Thanks for those amazing comments. Glad you liked it. Your great. (Lisa)
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Vampire?
Wow...this is so erotically gruesome! LOL good write!
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Holy crap this is dark! Well writ! Hope to never be one of your victims! Did you mean perfect in vs 2 line 3? because you have it written prefect... Necrophilliacs give me the creeps... I don't think I'll ever understand their reasoning.
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Sorry to scare you but the contest asked for dark. And this is what came to mind. I think I watch to much horror movies and tv. I am honored that you like my write. Your comments are greatly appreciated always. (Lisa)
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Creepy
I love this! You wrote it out giving a perfect image. I got chills thinking of it. My favorite and least favorite part were the same when you said "I make love to your corpse And show you the last bit of warmth" Very powerful dark line but very gross..Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!!! -
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Thank you so much for viewing this dark write. Sorry to scare you a little. I hope it wasnt to dark. thanks again (Lisa)
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fucking beutiful...disturbing and creepy, and so so beutiful...well done...this is really good
mike
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Wow thank you so much for those wonderful comments. They mean alot to me. I know its a bit dark and morbit. But it works for the contest. (Lisa)
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Quite interesting and disturbing jus what I wanted. Can you say Necrophiliac! lol overall this is dark and morbid just what I asked. Favorite lines:
"So when you receive my Valentine card
Open it slowly before, you decide to give me your heart
You’re my prefect victim of love I see
For your young, sweet and naive"
best wishes in the contest,
-Acronym
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Sorry that word I can't pronounce. Thanks for you wonderful comments. Well appreciated (Lisa)
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Shiver!!!!!!
Very dark and creative.Reminds me of something like The Lost Boys ( A Great Film ).Well done you did a great job here, Ros
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Thank you so much for the comments and the applauds Greatly appreciated always. (Lisa)
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