I’ll cut you like a fish---
he said.
I lay back. I’m a frog in formaldehyde.
Pink, said the scissors. pinkpink
Author notes
good times
A contest entry
- Short by Bryan K Johnson.
900 points, ended February 2, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Odd...funny...I loved it! So much imagination in these few lines. It is amazing how much imagery can fit into such a little poem. This really makes you think. Great job, you should write more of these shorts.
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Wonderful piece
Hey, there is strong imagery going on here. Such a short piece of writing that I really enjoyed reading. Quite powerful too. Keep writing.
All the best
Wayne
x
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Love it!
Is there something about bad sex going on here?
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Hey, and thanks for commenting! No, no bad sex HERE! But it all comes back to that subject most of the time, doesnt it? Perhaps it's years of BAD sex that makes one do just about anything for the good stuff.
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Bio,
I hear it
i see it
i smell it
i simled at it.
so much imagery in so few words, brought back the
memory of school.
Great job in capturing the senses.
Slan Dolores x
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chuckles!
enjoyed it, pretty funny. it actually takes u there and stimulates the senses of smell and sight. good job in such short lines. been missing more though, time to write some more,
take care,
~marcus -
This made me chuckle. Don't know if that is what you intended but I couldn't help myself. It also reminded me of the time my mom worked in a fish market and was an expert at gutting and filet...LOL I am also taken aback to Biology class and the first time I had to dissect a frog. So, with all that said; the imagery and persuasion of this writ is awesome. So many places I traveled via your words and there were so few. Excellent!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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In just a few short lines.. you capture so much here..
the bloom of the pink, the opening, the perfect comparisson of the frog to other positions
it all speaks of blooming,
gutted like a fish, until all the beauty falls out and shines.
odd what we can get from words ...isn't it?
I like this, and the specific brevity of it.
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Ok
I read it more than once and smiled I like the personification in this poem and can hear the scissors preparation.
Nice one.
Let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
This is very different in its form and its content.
Not sure where it came from but I did enjoy it.
Great work.
Soulful Woman -
An interesting little piece here. I couldn't help but to laugh actually. Good job
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Biology class? Playing doctor? Miserable sex? Yikes. I can't get my head wrapped around this. But that doesn't mean I don't like it. I do. Oddly. However I am horrible at metaphors.
I kind of like it without the frog line cause then I'm good with the whole cut you like a fish thing. But I'm having difficulty merging the two images in my head - an already dead frog that is laying it self down (unless that is denoting someone who is virtually "dead" in this particular situation) and a fish about to sliced.
My mother had pinking shears. I actually have them now, they are old and heavy but I still like them just the same.
Pink usually denotes the feminine. The little pinkpink at the end is nearly irrestible. And yet because I'm clueless I'm left not knowing how to feel here -- and that is quite okay. I get awfully sick of people telling me exactly how they feel and would rather reach reach reach in the mystery.
Good luck to you in the contest, if indeed winning contests is important to you.
Lisa -
excellent
i can't believe how many images ran through my head with this one...and the thing is, i think there will be more coming...and like Bryan...humor came first and then empathy..and i don't know why
excellent
peace and hugs
Muddy
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Wow. I like the imagery that your words have brought forth in my mind. Short and succinct with flow! Hugs.
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Loved bio and cutting and disecting frogs, fetal pigs, etc. Even brought a cat in once that had been hit by a car and cut it open. Brought back that scente of formaldehyde - yuch! Liked this short poem.
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Man! I have no idea what this is about, but I like it nonetheless.
What this has is fantastic imagination and a great sense of humour, delivered with a kick ass efficiency and economy.
Any chance of a heads up on what you're talking about? -
nice poem...fish r cool, and its like a new type of poem thats like...revolutionary!!! nice job!
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is this suppoed to be funny? Because if it's not, I havn't read it enough times..
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Oh this is really cool.
Pink, said the scissors. pinkpink
What an amazing line! As is the poem.
Good luck in the contest.
~ Fox
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What?
Haha. This piece was so out there I can't even express... Great write though. It brightened up my day
-Lucas
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I don't know if I should have, but I found humor in this peice. Maby it's just me. I like it though. It has a random-ness that takes me off of my guard. I like how you discribed the scissors as 'saying' something for the sound they make. Thanks for entering.
Bryan.
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